[Guest]

I think that CHANDLERS WISH is not trying to criticize you, but is just trying to warn or protect you by trying to let you know that even though he said yes to the trip, it may still end up being a short term thing.

i think we all just want you to go forward with your eyes open, hoping that it works out, but knowing that it might not. no one here wants to see you hurt, but doesnt mean that we arent concerned that it's gonna happen anyway

[WildChild]

Re-reading all this, I had a thought. Until you reach a point that neither of you has any concern or qualms about who knows of your relationship, it won't work. If or when the time comes that you can confidently introduce each other to family and freinds as your SO, then you will have a good chance of it working. As long as either of you feels you have to hide or sneak, it won't work for the long term.

[mm1991]

We need to hide and sneak because of persecutaion of the society, not because either of us have a problem. I'd love to show him to everyone. Even show him off. But it's like asking me to introduce a Jewish boyfriend in Nazi Germany 50 odd years ago. Not going to go down really well. My father would probably beat me up. But how is that our problem? Isn't that a society problem?

I really like him and I can tell he really likes me. I know what I am doing. We won't deliberatelly hurt each other. As for the others, we'll just have to be careful. No one approves it even on here on forum, I thought at least someone would. What is so bad about it? It this the last discrimination that is still PC? No one would dare say it's wrong (and rightly so) if John was black or disabled. But because he is older, it's like everyone is against him. And me too.

What we have is beautiful. It wont last... but than nothing does.

I believe in life before death.

[KMonte85]

mm - I think you are taking our posts the wrong way. It is not that we do not support you, we all want the best for you.

The problem is that we are all worried that what is best for you, for your heart, for your piece of mind - is not the same as what you are doing right now.

From my reading of the posts, we are not being discriminating... we are not going by what is "PC"

We are simply aware that a man and woman with a very large age gap, who have to keep the relationship secret from their family and friends, who has at least one confirmed party unsure that the relationship should continue.. is probably doomed.

Correct me if I am wrong posters, but we are not telling you not to go through with it. We are telling you to take the blinders off and see that this is probably not going to go anywhere. Not saying it absolutely won't, but it probably is not meant to last.

We are trying to bring you back to reality so that if things do not work out you do not fall so hard. So that you will see this time for what it is...

As far as our advice goes - You can take it or leave it, but please do not accuse anyone of discriminating and trying to be politically correct.

[mm1991]

I haven't accused anyone on here of being discriminating, I think the posts on here were helpful and I thank you all once again, as I did many times. Thank you thank you thank you everyone. Really thank you!

But the society is definatelly discriminating.

As for not lasting, I said I know it wont.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Man, it must be my age that makes you think I sounded like your mum

Told this story before, so here we go. My Property Manager is 25, her boyfriend is 62, yep. When they met, he shaved 10 years off his age, thought it was only going to be, something special, like your suggesting, but off course that would be it.

It however, 4 years later is actually love. She's beyond her years but it was an instant click that never ended... One day it will have to, she knows that, he knows that. She spread her wings and left at one stage, only to go back, and only for him to persue her to go back as well.

Her parents/ his children accept it now and they all get on very well.

It CAN happen.

The point I was making was exactly how the other posters have "read" what I wrote, in protection.

From what you wrote since, this is probably something you need to guide you into the future relationships, if your boyfriend was rude, nasty, maybe verbally abusive, to realise that there are good guys in this world. Just as there are good "people" in general.

But, we only read what you say. Does that make sense? So, he may very well have kept it at a distance, due to the age himself, as I said. He may very well leave it at Dublin as well.

So, again, (mum) speaking Just don't wear your heart on your sleeve. Go in with your eyes open, experience the feeling you are feeling, heart beating 20 miles an hour, all girly (even we do that at 46, yep)... but, don't get disappointed if it ends quicker than you hoped for.. Go in open minded, what will be will be... Or you'll feel crushed after, when it's over.

It's not critisism, it's protecting your heart, after all we have big ones, and lots of emotions to deal with.. Men don't, in general that early into the piece...

CW

[mm1991]

Thanks mum

I know you want to protect me, like everyone else. Thank you.

It's just probably not what I want to hear right now, but that is not your fault. It's this alone-against-the-whole-World feeling. I know you really want to help, my mum does too, I love her.

I am going into this with my eyes wide open. I know what I am doing. The bf was never rude or bad to me, we had some good times together going out. But he is selfish and immature and the bottom line is I don't care for him. I don't think I ever did. I am telling him tonight, it's over.

The amazing weekend in Dublin is 11 days away, can't wait. We'll even walk the streets holding hands. Sounds so normal for most of you I'm sure, but for me its amazing.

[Guest]

. . .

No one approves it even on here on forum, I thought at least someone would. What is so bad about it? It this the last discrimination that is still PC?

. . .

I think you are misreading concern as disapproval. when it comes down to it if both of you are in love with each other for real, I do not think there is a person here who would be against it.

I think people are just trying to share what they have seen happen elsewhere, and seems to happen most of the time. we are just worried about you and want you to have the best, but be prepared if things dont work out exactly as you hoped for.

I'm pretty sure that no one here wants to see your relationship fail. I know I dont want it to fail.

doesnt mean I wont worry about you

[mm1991]

i'm pretty sure that no one here wants to see your relationship fail. I know i dont want it to fail.

Thanks!!! Love you sperosi

Well I gave my bf, my X BF! a kick in the butt, its done
Dumped.

He thought I was teasing, I am such a tease. Wouldn't beleive it. Than he was like all nasty, calling me names...

I sort of expected it...

Well I'm single now. It feels strange.

[mm1991]

This started looking like my blog. It was never intented to be. I just needed someone to talk to.