[Futureboy]

Good luck

I just can't help feeling you're going to get really hurt.

[GlitterAndStuds]

Well, it's a good thing that you're ending things with the boyfriend before continuing anything with John. That would just add more drama to your life that you don't need.

If you're okay with everything, then go for it. It'll be fun for you. A couple of years is a long time though, if it does last that long. Longer than it sounds. I've only been with my boyfriend for a year and I can't even describe how attached to him I am, and how devastated I would be if I ever lost him.

Anyway, I hope you really are okay with the idea of things not working out with him. Just make 100% sure that you will be okay. And who knows, maybe somewhere down the line, it will be cool for you to tell people. You can't fake being single forever, someone will figure it out. But until then, have fun, and be sure to end things with your boyfriend before seeing John again.

Good Luck, and keep us posted!

[mm1991]

Good luck

I just can't help feeling you're going to get really hurt.

Thanks for good wishes Futureboy, but why do you think I am got get hurt? Is is it because you think I am not going to be able to handle it, him having too much power over me?

You didn't answer my previous question either yet I really want your opinion on that. Would you rather be with Sharon Stone/ Jenifer Lopez / whoeverturnsyouonyourage or with 18 year old of very average looks? What I am asking is, is girl being young such a plus for guys? Does it matter more than everything else? Tell me honestly. Please.

[mm1991]

Well, it's a good thing that you're ending things with the boyfriend before continuing anything with John. That would just add more drama to your life that you don't need.

If you're okay with everything, then go for it. It'll be fun for you. A couple of years is a long time though, if it does last that long. Longer than it sounds. I've only been with my boyfriend for a year and I can't even describe how attached to him I am, and how devastated I would be if I ever lost him.

Anyway, I hope you really are okay with the idea of things not working out with him. Just make 100% sure that you will be okay. And who knows, maybe somewhere down the line, it will be cool for you to tell people. You can't fake being single forever, someone will figure it out. But until then, have fun, and be sure to end things with your boyfriend before seeing John again.

Good Luck, and keep us posted!

Thanks GlitterAndStuds, your posts were particularly helpful. I will tell my boyfriend it's over for sure, before I do anything else. Over last few days I realised I don't care for him. He is fun but that's it. I'd love to go clubbing with him and do everything else with John, but you are right, it doesn't work that way. It hurts I will never be able to take John anywhere, like cinema, theatre, walk in the park... It's sad. It's not fair. But than life is not supossed to be fair I guess.

[Futureboy]

Thanks for good wishes Futureboy, but why do you think I am got get hurt? Is is it because you think I am not going to be able to handle it, him having too much power over me?

You didn't answer my previous question either yet I really want your opinion on that. Would you rather be with Sharon Stone/ Jenifer Lopez / whoeverturnsyouonyourage or with 18 year old of very average looks? What I am asking is, is girl being young such a plus for guys? Does it matter more than everything else? Tell me honestly. Please.

If it's real on both parts you'll be fine. As long as he's not playing you.
I don't think he has power over you. I am just concerned about whether you can handle it. Socially he will be judged more poorly than you.

May be the 18 yo thing says more about me than you. Unfortunately JoLo not taking my calls this week

Go in with you eyes open, be optimistic and enjoy it

[mm1991]

Thank you Futureboy. In my selfishness I didn't think about this:

Socially he will be judged more poorly than you.

You are sooooo right. He runs a small business and something like this may not destroy him but it wouldn't go down well with the locals, that's for sure. Of course my life as we know it would be ruined as well.

But for my "old" life - I don't want it anymore anyway. For the first time in my life someone is asking me what I want. I was always doing the right thing, never what I wanted to do. Thinking about it, I am even with my bf because all my friends thought he was right for me and that I'd do well being with him. I feel I have matured so much last month or so, which is how long I know John.

But I am scared too. Very scared, for what can happen to me but for him too. But somehow as much as I am scared I feel brave too. It would hurt me If he suffered because of this though.

BTW GlitterAndStuds I will keep you posted. It will be pleasure
This is the only place I can talk about it and I need to talk about him to someone. I will call John tonight to wish him a Happy New Year

[mm1991]

I wanted to tell you more about John

He lives in a house in a suburb. He has a small car, he can afford better, but says he doesn’t need it. He is a bit green. He is divorced. His wife and him lost the only child many years ago to a rare illness. The wife was suicidal, he sort of saved her and brought her back to some sort of sanity. But she said he will always remind her of their son and divorced him. The divorce and losing the women he loved hurt him a lot, but loss of son… I don’t know, he is still in lot of pain although it happened many years ago, not sure how many. I hate to ask him about it although we really talk about everything. Must have been terrible. Not something you’d wish even to your worst enemy.

The last gig he went was Prodigy not to long ago. Not my scene really but I like the energy of it. He has a pinball machine, pool billiard and table football - soccer for you Yanks in the house and has sometimes has friends around, male only. Doesn’t go out much, although he was bit of a wild child when he was young, was into heavy metal, hard rock then, never really grew out of it. He loves sport and he is rather fit, . He played rugby, but he was not one of those big, fat guys that push but the other ones, that run, you know what I mean, don’t know much about rugby lol. He is strong and gentle at the same time. He is VERY sensual, very gentle. He makes me feel special. I think he has had many women although that is one thing we didn’t talk about so it’s just an opinion. He is a Scorpio. Mmmm what else…

He oozes confidence. Has a wicked, wicked gaze, when he looks at me sometimes I feel so weird. Like I am on drugs or something. His hands are amazing too. He should be giving lessons to boys I know, and his lips!!! I was thinking about posting his picture to see how hot he is but he hasn’t given me any pictures as such, I only have his pics from Facebook and as I didn’t ask him to use them / post them I don’t think it would be right to do it. Someone might even recognize him, unlikely as it is.

Anyway, if you want to know anything more, just ask me, as I said, I love talking about him and I can only do it on here

[Futureboy]

Keep the picture for you. It is not whether we think he's good looking it's whether you do, looks are subjective

It's clear you really fancy him. Just take it slow

[mm1991]

I didn't see this coming

So I call him last night. Wished him Happy New Year and told him how much I am looking forward to see him. Told him we are going to be forbidden love like Romeo and Juliet

He says you know what happenned to them

So I ask him what is that suppose to mean

He said he had time to reflect, he never thought it would get this far, only started as a harmless flirt. He needs to do right thing, what is best for me. He has to protect me he says.

Told him I was old enough to know what is best for me, not to patronise me.

He doesn't even want to talk about it, he made his mind up

I'm gutted. I can't accept it. Can't believe it. That was last night and I am still in shock.

[Futureboy]

It's probably for the best

It doesn't mean hes doesn't want you he just knows there's no long term. The older you get the more you think about long term.

He probably doesn't want to talk about it 'cos he knows you can probably change his mind, at least temporarily. I imagine he is strongly attracted to you and its hard for him too.

It's better now than in six months. I know it's not much to offer.

I think you're a looking for someone who is mature. Why not look at guys who are say 24/25. They will still be young but they should have learned the basics in treating a girl right.

May be try Match.com or similar its a laugh or a disaster either way it's good story

Sorry to hear it went pete tong but you will be ok

Ps still think you should dump the bf as you are clearly looking around for something else

Try and Smile