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Well.
Haven't talked to him about these issues yet... I know, that's bad... But jeez, it's hard to find a good time to do it!
I did cuddle up to him the other day and he jokingly said "get off me" which really ****es me off now because, even though it's in a joking tone, the number of times he says something like that takes all the "hilarity" out of it. Anyway, I had yet to show outward anger or annoyance at him up until that point (I'm a nice girl
), but I did "get off him" and was irritated like heck.
One good quality about this guy is that he takes my bad moods (which are far and few between) very seriously, so he immediately and apologetically pulled me back into a big cuddle... which is fine... but I'm not here to FORCE someone to show me some darn affection!
At the moment, we're planning a week long trip somewhere and it's a little stressful as most flights seem to be sold out... and he's walking around all irritable... I don't know if I've mentioned this yet, but that's another major problem: He is SO friggin' EASILY irritated. I mean if a kid in the street ****es him off, he'll chase the bugger down the block!
Okay I feel I'm rambling now (thanks Tex
)... Anyway bottom line is that I'm having TONS of issues with this guy BUT he's shown me time and time again that he's a good listener and is considerate. I have NOT laid all this out on the table for him yet, and he's not a mind reader... so I still have hope.
But to be honest, I am starting to come to terms with the possibility of a break up somewhere down the line.Comment
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But rambling is healthy. Get's all the stuff out in its most basic form.
I'm sure that having someone must make life in a foreign country a little easier, and I know you were excited about New Zealand and all that... at the same time, he needs to be more respectful of the needs of our awesome teach.
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Guest
honestly, it sounds like thats what you want to do, break up with him.
i mean after all, if you like this other stuff about him, and have acknowledged here for awhile that you need to talk with him, and still haven't, you are letting the issue fester in you and just make you more upset.
why are you doing that to yourself?Comment
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Oh my god! I swear we're dating the same guy. I HATE the whole 'get off me' thing. It just makes you feel crappy.Well.
Haven't talked to him about these issues yet... I know, that's bad... But jeez, it's hard to find a good time to do it!
I did cuddle up to him the other day and he jokingly said "get off me" which really ****es me off now because, even though it's in a joking tone, the number of times he says something like that takes all the "hilarity" out of it. Anyway, I had yet to show outward anger or annoyance at him up until that point (I'm a nice girl
), but I did "get off him" and was irritated like heck.
One good quality about this guy is that he takes my bad moods (which are far and few between) very seriously, so he immediately and apologetically pulled me back into a big cuddle... which is fine... but I'm not here to FORCE someone to show me some darn affection!
At the moment, we're planning a week long trip somewhere and it's a little stressful as most flights seem to be sold out... and he's walking around all irritable... I don't know if I've mentioned this yet, but that's another major problem: He is SO friggin' EASILY irritated. I mean if a kid in the street ****es him off, he'll chase the bugger down the block!
Okay I feel I'm rambling now (thanks Tex
)... Anyway bottom line is that I'm having TONS of issues with this guy BUT he's shown me time and time again that he's a good listener and is considerate. I have NOT laid all this out on the table for him yet, and he's not a mind reader... so I still have hope.
But to be honest, I am starting to come to terms with the possibility of a break up somewhere down the line.
I think I'm in the exact same place you are. I'll compromise a little to be with the right person. But at the end of the day, there are some of us who, when in a relationship, need to feel loved and desired. Not everyone is the same so I'm coming to terms that even though everything else is near perfect, that this may be a deal breaker for me.Comment
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sperosi, I just... can't seem the right time to have a serious conversation about it with him. He's also so often irritated about something or another that his moods intimidate all of my resolve out of me. Yeah excuses, excuses... maybe some "tough love" from the forum will help me to buckle down and do it.
Oh man... well I'm glad someone's in my boat!Oh my god! I swear we're dating the same guy. I HATE the whole 'get off me' thing. It just makes you feel crappy.
I think I'm in the exact same place you are. I'll compromise a little to be with the right person. But at the end of the day, there are some of us who, when in a relationship, need to feel loved and desired. Not everyone is the same so I'm coming to terms that even though everything else is near perfect, that this may be a deal breaker for me.
Keep me posted on how things develop.
Gosh, the "good" qualities of his are SO good... Ugghzsdsdgjh what to do.Comment
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Guest
sperosi, I just... can't seem the right time to have a serious conversation about it with him. He's also so often irritated about something or another that his moods intimidate all of my resolve out of me. Yeah excuses, excuses... maybe some "tough love" from the forum will help me to buckle down and do it.
Oh man... well I'm glad someone's in my boat!
Keep me posted on how things develop.
Gosh, the "good" qualities of his are SO good... Ugghzsdsdgjh what to do.
Mes_T,
if you cant have those kind of conversations now while you are still in the new dating phase, believe me child, it WONT get any easier. set the tone now for how your relationship will be if it goes the distance.
i know finding the right time is often very key to how things turn out. but if there never seems to be a right time, then you just gotta go do it before you build up too much resentment.Comment
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You can't or you don't want to? He sounds moody, but what if you're using that as an excuse to avoid talking to him because you're afraid of the way he might react? That he might decide to break up? You said you feel ready for that maybe happening somewhere down the line, but feeling happy and actually being happy are two different things.sperosi, I just... can't seem the right time to have a serious conversation about it with him. He's also so often irritated about something or another that his moods intimidate all of my resolve out of me. Yeah excuses, excuses... maybe some "tough love" from the forum will help me to buckle down and do it.
You deserve to be happy and he deserves your honesty, if you really can't find the time then make time. Sit him down and tell him what's bothering you. That's more healthy to you and fair to him than if you keep bottling it up and then eventually explode on him. Then he can say, 'Oh, I didn't know. Why didn't you say anything?'
Yeah, maybe he'll get up and leave. Then you at least know he's not worth it and you kept yourself from wasting any more time on him. Or maybe he'll listen to what you say and make an honest effort to change things. Either way, having this talk with him can only make things clearer for you and easier.
SO GO AND DO IT!
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I'm not worried about him deciding to leave by any means, but just his moodiness makes me anticipate him taking his frustration out at me in some way.
Ahh yes you're right.. ... .... ahhhh I have nothing more to say.. I bow down to your greatness...You deserve to be happy and he deserves your honesty, if you really can't find the time then make time. Sit him down and tell him what's bothering you. That's more healthy to you and fair to him than if you keep bottling it up and then eventually explode on him. Then he can say, 'Oh, I didn't know. Why didn't you say anything?'
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