[CHANDLERS WISH]

This blew me away Sourpuss.

You have personality.
You have a heart.
You are ambitious.
You have drive.
You have a soul.
Your affectionate.
Your competitive.
Your successful in all you do.
You gym it so your body is toned.
You love sex.
You have looks ( remember when I compared you to Jennifer Gardner?) who by the way is hot.
You have a cute body, it's tall, and it's proportioned the right way.
You have long hair.


You do alot of things that you love, for yourself, with friends outside of boxing, your a go getter, you never stop, you'd prefer to take in the nature, the earth, the beauty and get out there and do it attitude.

Finding a man that is the same is not easy.

I personally think that if they are saying these things to you, they are intimidated by you and by the way your mind thinks.

They're attracted to your mind, your get up and go attitude, they've gotten to see all that side of you as a friend. But, that may be the problem. They haven't gotten to know Sourpuss the soul, the inner child, the little girl, the woman sexually, but only the person, the shell.

I think maybe you protect yourself as well, you flirt sure, but I mean that inner girl, the girly side of you and you hide her so she doesn't come out, through fear of getting hurt.

I think you need to bring her out and let men see her.

I don't think it's colour, race, etc, I think where it may have worked for your friend, was more so that there were more men More options and she was in a new place, excitement and let herself be herself, because no one knew her.

You need to be able to be you totally, around someone. Jump on them, poke them in the stomach, hide behind your hair when they look at you, and let them see the powerful woman, isn't always that, she is also a little girl dying to come out and play

[CHANDLERS WISH]

If I can add

At the beginning before the relationship. Not when you enter it...

[sourpuss]

CW, you're so sweet! I wasn't fishing for compliments, just curious and mostly frustrated with my life at the moment. I think I need a serious change. It's just not working here and I don't think it ever will.

But you are right. And if a person like I wish to spend my days with never comes along, I have to be ok with that, and I will be.

[Mes T]

Is it possible for you to just... pick up and make a drastic change in location?

I get what you're saying about certain areas finding certain people more attractive than others, and it's just fact, doesn't have anything to do with how awesome a person actually is.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Na, nothing sweet about it

Seriously.

That is my honest thoughts, you would be intimidating haha. Being a business person I have had the exact same problem... And, men just wanting a "partner", "company", "sex", either, iether, all.

The fish to catch is the one that is looking for "the one"..

And, is looking for the inner soul...

Don't expect that to be easy Because, he's only one person.

But he's out there

I think maybe because I'm older? And, men are usually, apparently,4 years younger than us mentally That, it's a bit easier for me, now because there are guys that actually are looking for their soul partner. Having said, that there are still guys that are full of baggage and don't want to be alone, just looking for someone.

It's the difference of trying to "see" which one is which when you decide to go into that relationship I think....

I certainly feel that as I saw that difference, I was able to diss those who were just wanting "someone" and ended up with the one that was looking for "the someone" because I used that phsco carp, thingy.................................

[sourpuss]

Is it possible for you to just... pick up and make a drastic change in location?

I get what you're saying about certain areas finding certain people more attractive than others, and it's just fact, doesn't have anything to do with how awesome a person actually is.

It is. I work from home and I don't own anything so I have no ties here. And so I am seriously considering just picking up and going somewhere totally new and different.

[Mes T]

Great! What sort of places are you considering?

[sourpuss]

I actually have no idea. Thoughts? I'm open to anything.

[newhere808]

Shared interest in activities. I've always met people doing the things I like and we usually start out friends. Must be my winning personality that finally gets them. ugh

Occaisional insecurities aside, i'd rather have the circumstance above than someone want me cause i'm attractive. Looks change and fade, who you are is not going to go either of those things over time unless you force it to do so, and I see no reason why you would want to

[Mes T]

Hmm. Well I'm a BIG fan of picking up and moving somewhere new, so if you ever need a pep talk, I'm here. I picked up and moved to Korea and with any luck will move to New Zealand in a few months time, but assuming you want to stay within the country...

I went to uni in Madison. Very liberal place, extremely nice people, super friendly, and a lot of diversity. The only downside is that most people who live there are involved in education (are either students or teachers). Personally there's too much YOUTH there for me... I'm only 23 but prefer to live in a place that has people of all ages, but anyway, it's a happy place.

I grew up around Chicago. There's endless possibilities within the city... Just strolling around window shopping, I see soooo many people that I could envision myself being friends with or asking out or whatever. I love Chicago. As in any big city, it's got it's bad and good areas, nice and rude people, but overall it's fantastic.

I've always wanted to live in San Francisco at some point. I hear the people are amazing, but that things are very expensive there at the moment. Maybe someone with more info could confirm this. But I just love the diversity there, including the gay community... makes me happy thinking about it.

A friend of mine moved to Boston recently and loves it. I don't think I've ever heard anyone say anything bad about Boston. I think if it weren't for my New Zealand boyfriend and my Chicago/Russian parents, I would move there first.

Anyway I'm very excited for you, I know you're only just beginning to consider this, but I think sometimes big changes can be very... liberating.

Occaisional insecurities aside, i'd rather have the circumstance above than someone want me cause i'm attractive. Looks change and fade, who you are is not going to go either of those things over time unless you force it to do so, and I see no reason why you would want to

But you know the old saying... Men learn to love the people they are attracted to (whereas women learn to be attracted to the people they love).

I think that initial attraction is very important. For some of us it's the person's voice, the sparkle in their eyes, their scent... and for others it has to be more than that, body, face, etc.