[CHANDLERS WISH]

If it was "sex only" that she wanted, she wouldn't have been in a relationship..

If it was "sex only" that she wanted, she wouldn't be with what you deem to be a "smaller penis sized male"...

What she wanted was to be the one, to be loved and the chemistry in that may have been great, but as others stated, you rated yourself 100% and her 85%... and that's just on sex, you've rated some other girl as " wish I dated you", therefore, you've rated your girlfriend not 100% either, in relationships, with you...

This lady, has never felt she was important enough perhaps only a sex object so I doubt you have any possibility of getting her back until you work out how to "love" a woman for her, not her sexual prowess...

CW

[Hopeless Dork]

I can tell you right now that most women don't really care all that much about size, its never the determaining factor between 2 men you like... its not like hmm they are both exactly what I want, but his penis is bigger so he is who i want... nope. 1. Sex isn't better with a guy with a big penis. In fact sometimes its worse because sometimes a guy with a big penis only thinks about his big penis. Like I have a big penis, so I am good at sex... they don't even bother trying to figure out how to please their woman, they think having a large penis is enough. Its not. A guy with a smaller penis that knows which angles to use it in can give much more pleasure, thats good with his fingers and tongue, again... SCORE.

So worry more about how you make her heart feel vs how this guy makes her heart feel... more than thinking your bigger penis will be enough to regain her trust and woo- her away from the new guy. He may, or may not be a rebound. Not everyone is that stereotypical. Some people geninly fall for the next person they date, and its not just a 'rebound'.

What did you do that ruined her trust? I can tell you in my mind if i read my man saying he wishes he would have dated someone else when we were together... my feelings for him would alter signficantly. Women love to be adored, to be the apple of their man's eye... knowing he wasn't happy with me would make me in turn second guess my happiness with him and wonder how much is real how much is illusion.

If you want to get her back, focus less on your penis and more on her feelings.

[caterpillar79]

I merged his other thread as it explains more of the reasons of their falling out. Please re-read above.

Cat

[Allie602]

i think she just needs to mature more, because if little probelms can mess up our relationship i dont know whats going to happen if we ever run past any REAL problems. if she didnt put such of an emphasis on sex then i dont know

Justin, please don't reject what I am saying because it sounds like I am ragging on you. I want you to see that your thinking is wrong and you have to change it. It has affected this relationship and will effect others if you don't change the way you are seeing this.

I think you don't get it really. Contacting another woman and telling her that you are sorry you did not date her is huge. It strikes at the very heart of trust. I don't know if this is a love relationship, it does not sound like it, but even if you two are friends having sex, what you did is a betrayal of the friendship. It is humiliating to have someone you are sharing intimacy with contact someone else to lament not having dated her. In essence what you are saying that your girl is not enough for you and you regret the whole relationship. Can you see that?

I don't know what the other thing you did was but if it involved another woman then I'd advise her to find someone else if she posted asking for advice. You can't be trusted. And you don't seem to care enough about her not to hurt her by giving in to the urge to contact other woman. She sounds like she has high self esteem and a good sense of her worth. She left you quickly after 4 years, that shows she has very definite boundaries that are self protective. Why don't you just let it go and date this other girl?

There is something else you don't get it seems - woman need emotional engagement no matter what the relationship is about. I think if you are having sex with someone and you agree to be exclusive you should keep your word. You are not married so you have every right to end the relationship and date this girl you regret not dating so why not do the honorable thing.

That Asian guy that you think has a small penis is apparently giving her what she needs with out the 9 incher. It really is not all about sex, no woman will stay connected to you if all you have to offer is a good time in bed and not enough care and empathy to not hurt her.

You original post was telling, you said that she would say you were a 5/5 sex partner but you gave her a 4.5/5 and you talk about your powers in the bed room. You do sound arrogant an d full of your self. Having a large penis is really not the be all and end all, you have to be a good man to sustain a woman's love if that's what you want. Although you think she is a 4.5 how long do you think it will take you to find another woman who is a 4.5 or even a 5? How many woman will you have to go through? When you find this 4.5 woman, will she be the type that you want to spend 4 or more years with?

I hope you will think about this - don't think I am being mean - I am glad you posted because I think you are interested enough to try to see what is going on. You may not have been getting the info you want but this may be what you need so don't stop posting.

[caterpillar79]

I say, re-evaluate yourself FIRST. How you've treated her emotions, how you handled your own behavior and dealings with the opposite sex that have caused this break-up. Until you are responsible of your actions and be willing to initiate changes in you, whether you get back together or find someone new....no matter how nice(r) she could be....it would be a vicious circle.

Just a "tough love" here....clean your act and treat a woman the way she deserves - to be loved, cherished, adored, be promised and showed loyalty, honesty, to be nurtured and to be protected.

[Hopeless Dork]

Ack, that whole thinking she'd rate you a 5, and you rating her a 4.5 thing made me cringe as well. Basically since she can't speak for herself, she can't rate you... so you just rated yourself a 5 lover... and well usually when someone is THAT confident of their sexual skills... its generally not the case. No offense... its just no one is good lover for everyone right out of the box... it takes getting to know your specific partner and what feels good to them individually -- all women are different... some don't get off on penetration at all... and only have clitoral orgasms... I'd say thats true for more women than not... and that would render just showing up with a big penis not all that extremely valuable to the situation.

I'm not saying you are a bad lover, who knows... but I'm saying that being so overly sure that you are the bomb, can make it so that you bomb, as you won't be as likely to figure out what your partner likes if you think you already know.

Anyways... as allie posted above I found that rating thing very telling as well. If you in anyway treated her like she was a 4.5 girlfriend to your 5.0 self-declared awesomeness... and this guy makes her feel like shes 10.0 awesome... you might have to do some re-evaluating on how you treat people?.

[Little_Miss_Me]

If she's with someone that is the total opposite of you, there's a reason for it.

Sex is amazing. We're all not going to lie to ourselves, but let's get serious here, there's more to a relationship.

Man up. Give her what you should have given to begin with or let her move on. Great orgasms didn't keep her in your bed, and they won't. It's your heart and your mind that will.

[Allie602]

No offense... its just no one is good lover for everyone right out of the box... it takes getting to know your specific partner and what feels good to them individually -- all women are different... some don't get off on penetration at all... and only have clitoral orgasms... I'd say thats true for more women than not... and that would render just showing up with a big penis not all that extremely valuable to the situation.

I'm not saying you are a bad lover, who knows... but I'm saying that being so overly sure that you are the bomb, can make it so that you bomb, as you won't be as likely to figure out what your partner likes if you think you already know.

Justin, this is so important for you to know for your relationships. Every woman is different. For each new relationship you have to start over and learn the woman you are with. There is no such thing as a 10/10 lover, your as good as the person you are with thinks you are. Men who are certain they are good are sometimes the worse lovers because they think they know it all and will not take the time time to lean the woman they are with. The men fall into this category, don't know what they don't know and they are not interested in learning.
I hope you have learned something from losing this girl, recognize the value of the people in your life, I have a feeling you think you are entitled to a girl who is a 4.5 or better because you have a large penis. Don't you know size does not matter, unless it is too small or too big?

You were lucky to have such a girl, she loved you despite your faults, that's difficult to find. My advice for the future, don't over estimate your abilities, be humble, be respectful towards women, be honest. Or you can be a player, always chasing but never getting that confident woman who will love you just the way you are, just like your ex.