[JustHormonious]

You're not naive, you had the sense to run a search. Be mindful of what he is telling you. The two of you have only been talking for a couple of days, take your time.

[WildChild]

Those questions I'm afraid I don't think I'll be of much help. I'm far too old and removed from the dating scene to have any type of significant responses.

I will say that if he's open and honest you'll know relatively quickly just how sincere he is.

Pretz you are not allowed to be old. I'm not old, nowhere near and neither are you dear man. You may be feeling drained but that's a different thing.

[pretzel]

Pretz you are not allowed to be old. I'm not old, nowhere near and neither are you dear man. You may be feeling drained but that's a different thing.

Thanks dear,

But what to say when you really can't offer anything further. I wish I could be more help to her, but I no longer have the mind of a young adult and sometimes you just have to admit that.

[k8mt]

thanks for all the input.. i just don't want to get into anything i cant get out of.. and like i said maybe i'm just so used to getting treated like i don't know how to handle a nice guy.. and maybe he is overly nice and that's just him... he doesn't need to be with a jaded girl like me though haha! I'll probably just ruin the poor guy!!

[Ashlee T.]

The fact that you've been talking to him for like "2 days" and you've tried to access his facebook, searched his name, discussed your lack of desire to have children, discussed a previous arrest, he calls you sweetie, you talk like you know this cat well........ tells me you're moving way too fast. You haven't even met this guy in person yet right? Yes, you SHOULD have red flags right now.

He works at a liqour store, doesn't have his own method of transport, so who does he live with? Who takes him to and fro?

You can most likely find the Detention Center or Jail where he's from, and do an "inmate search" and select to view previous inmates as well, and see how many times he's been arrested and what for.

You're doing so good for yourself right now, getting focused on your health and losing weight. Now is the not the time to focus your attention on some dude you seriously do not know...no matter how good it feels to hear him call you sweet names and talk sweet to you.

[k8mt]

WOW! That was the slap in the face i needed! You're right.. i mean seriously! What am i doing?? .. Yikes! yeah i'm not terribly sure what to do now.. i mean this guy is like "really into me" more into someone than you can be after having not even really known them for 2 days.. I'm an idiot.. i am just so freaking busy all the time with work school and getting in shape i figured it'd be time to throw a guy into the mix and really after having read that.. it's not even right. It's out of loneliness big time.. i've seriously searched and searched through our inmate records, violent offenders and all the newspaper archives and can't pull up anything.
I don't know what to do here.

[Ashlee T.]

I'm an idiot..

Nah...you're not an idiot at all. You're quite the opposite actually. You laid out for us in detail your reservations about this and all were very valid. If you were an idiot, you wouldn't even see the red flags. The part thats confusing you is your desire for attention from the opposite sex. We all want to be desired and when someone we might potentially be attracted to flirts with us, shows us attention or says nice things to us, it's only natural to enjoy that and want more of it.

The part you have to remind yourself is that your self worth will not be enhanced by a man. Having a man will not complete you. The fact that this fella has moved at warp speed after not knowing you AT ALL, and vice versa is not likely to be someone that is genuinely interested in YOU.....he's more interested in having someone. You don't want to be "someone", do you?

At this point you don't owe him anything. You've known him a couple days. You can say simply "I think you seem like a great guy...but I'm just not feeling this and I won't be contacting you anymore". It's not like you're a couple and you have to break up with him. And if you do continue to talk to him, then proceed with caution, and do not allow this to interfere with your work, your school, and most importantly your health.

Don't let your desire to be wanted override your good sense and what you know is right for you. Don't settle.

[k8mt]

Ha.. i was just explaining to him that while yes he would be great to have as a friend this all has to slow way down and he said yeah i wouldn't want to push you into anything and i said.. oh no you can't push me i'm fairly strong willed..and then i said ya know if this is really you.. sweet, compliant, caring.. then that's all well and good but if not then just relax you can't even get to know someone when they are being themselves and lets face it everyone has flaws.. so .. chill out.
and he responded with i hear ya everyone has small flaws..
yeah i think this guy is either crazy and might try to knife me (ha..ha) or he really thinks he's gods gift? i don't know i tried the slow down buddy talk and he's still not getting it.. maybe have to be a let you down not so gentle kind of deal here in a second! i even told this guy that i have a ton of finals to be getting ready for and he keeps on texting.. texting away.
wow ya know i am way smarter than this.. mom always told me not to talk to strangers

[Ashlee T.]

Oh yes....your momma didn't raise no fool!!

Thank you for the post on my page. I couldn't post you back because you weren't on my friends list, so I requested to add you. When you get a few more posts (33) you'll be able to send private messages.

Stick around and keep us updated!

[k8mt]

i tried to accept your friend request from my phone but i don't know if it took i'll try again now!
Yeah.. so he's done speaking to me.. after he said Everyone has small flaws .. i said Yeah and huge flaws and that's okay too! It's what makes us human.. apparently he took that as a bad sign. I don't know. I'm not used to nice guys.. i'm not typically attracted to them.. perhaps thats why i freaked and got all the red flags! boy am i glad i did! who knows what could have happened had i decided to meet up with this guy.. i would have him come here probably.. to a nice public place where all my friends (guys and girls) were standing by all under cover like haha thats not good. there should be more trust than that, but lets face it people are totally sketchy these days! i'm a small town girl willing to trust anyone when in fact i really need to watch my back a bit more. It wasn't until i saw the whole knife thing that i got freaked out then everything started to make sense. It's like he was a classic case of "insecure psycho". Willing to settle down at first jump but by God don't cross him! I'm way to friend oriented to be with a guy that would control me and I'm pretty sure he'd be just the ticket to control-ville! I just need to relax and stay away from the dating scene anyways. I have no time for it! I work full time, go to school full time and workout daily and you're right i need to focus on that for sure!