[imirritated]

How could i find out if my boyfriend of 6 months is watching porn? I think he might have some but haven't looked anywhere for it.

I have lurked as a non member for a while, so great first post huh? I'm very private so posting this even anonymously was a big step.

Thanks

[Swan]

Does he know if you are okay with porn or not? He might be more private about it if your not.

I'd talk to him about it and if he does maybe spice things up a bit to make porn look boring or tell him straight forward this bothers you and/or what ever your reasons are, if he respects you he should stop and/or tell you why he looks at it if you want him to.
but if he seems dishonest I'd set up an accidental walk in, lay off the sex for a bit and say our going to be away for x amount of hours. then walk in saying you forgot something and maybe youll catch him? dont recommend this too much but if you need to know.

[rcoreyus]

I wouldn't try to "catch him", don't see any gain from that. In fact if you do accidently catch him, rather than getting upset, tell him that any time he feels like watching porn, you are available to him instead.

If he is turning down sex and watching porn, that is a big problem. If he is watching porn only when you aren't available or dont' want sex, then I don't see that as so bad.

[foxman09]

I was this guy and my gf is the high sex drive kind of girl. I had a habit of waiting for her to leave too and when she found out it crushed her. So I stopped watching porn all together and I feel like a better guy for it but at the same time I have desires which she cannot fill. Such as, I like big butts. I love her but she doesnt have it. I would satisfy myself with big butt porn but now I can't so I'm losing my desire for her somewhat as a result of that. I used to have an issue where we could have sex twice a day but id rather not even touch her. I would just masturbate when she sleeps and I feel like im getting back at her in a way from taking it away. Its a really selfish act and I've gotten past it but I'm still unsatisfied even tho she IS BEAUTIFUL. Porn has ruined a lot of relationships but I personally believe its sort of a nice tool to keep a relationship on an even keel or even help in the bedroom. When i wasnt in the mood I could watch porn, get really hard, and then go and have sex with my gf and wow that is grea.t See if he would be into that.

[WildChild]

When i wasnt in the mood I could watch porn, get really hard, and then go and have sex with my gf and wow that is grea.t See if he would be into that.

If this happens on a regular basis, most women would find it insulting. It's basically saying that she doesn't turn you on but that once you are aroused by someone or something else, you are willing to use her body instead of masterbation, to cum. You've shared some of your issues before and you do have some things to work on if you want to have a healthy relationship with any woman.

[Hopeless Dork]

Yeah, foxman... the method you describe as a good way to utilize porn in a relationship is actually very counter-productive to intimacy. Yes porn can help couples in a rut -- when its shared... yes it can help couples balance the scales when one has a higher drive than the other. But one partner just watching it to get excited enough to masturbate with their S.O's vagina is 1. Insulting to her 2. Selfish, Lazy.

How would you feel if she was not in the mood to have sex with you, but said hold on, went to the pc and browsed a website of men with huge
perfect penis', six pack abs, or called some dating line to hear some guy's sexy voice and hear him tell her dirty things so that she could be in the mood enough to allow you to provide her with the satisfaciton portion of her arousal?

As far as her butt not being up to your big butt standard... thats just sad. Not her lack of a badonkadonk... but the way you actually look at the woman you are supposed to 'love' and instead of thinking of all the things that turn you on about her -- you focus on what she's 'lacking' in your mind. Trust that other men wouldn't do that to her, and that she doesn't deserve to be sized up like that by the guy she loves.

I'm sure there are things about yourself that don't meet her every single fantasy... thats life, thats human beings no one is perfect and no one person is going to have every last quality you are looking for in a person from mind to body to how THEY feel about you.

Making up excuses like you have to watch porn to get your big butt fix is rediculous. If a big butt is all that matters to you about a woman, then yes... you should definitly choose to only date women that have them... of course their butt may change over time so you should let them know up front that their butt is the most important thing about them to you.

But something tells me if you're woman had the butt you wanted, you'd find something else about her that is 'lacking'... just a hunch.

[stressed]

I was this guy and my gf is the high sex drive kind of girl. I had a habit of waiting for her to leave too and when she found out it crushed her. So I stopped watching porn all together and I feel like a better guy for it but at the same time I have desires which she cannot fill. Such as, I like big butts. I love her but she doesnt have it. I would satisfy myself with big butt porn but now I can't so I'm losing my desire for her somewhat as a result of that. I used to have an issue where we could have sex twice a day but id rather not even touch her. I would just masturbate when she sleeps and I feel like im getting back at her in a way from taking it away. Its a really selfish act and I've gotten past it but I'm still unsatisfied even tho she IS BEAUTIFUL. Porn has ruined a lot of relationships but I personally believe its sort of a nice tool to keep a relationship on an even keel or even help in the bedroom. When i wasnt in the mood I could watch porn, get really hard, and then go and have sex with my gf and wow that is grea.t See if he would be into that.

So, you're not only saying that you're with a woman who doesn't match your "butt standards", but she also disgusts you enough that you rather masturbate than touch her to "get back at her for taking away your toy". She disgusts you because she doesn't have the butt that turns you on and doesn't let you j/o to the butts you like. That's what you're saying.

No woman wants an erection caused by another woman inside her. You have to realize that. You have to understand women if you want to be with one.

If you're suffering because you don't watch porn you should tell her that and let her choose whether she wants this to go on or not. You should tell her what you just told us. Because I have a feeling that what you tell her is "It's not you, it's what all men do" and that's a lie. You want porn because she doesn't "do it" for you physically. She never will.

And as we speak she must be sitting somewhere wondering why you're losing your desire for her, if something is wrong with her body, if she's ugly, if you still watch porn even if you've told her you won't. She must be unhappy. She is beautiful, but it doesn't sound like she is for you. Better let her be with a man who finds all her body parts attractive and doesn't find her disgusting.

[Brokenwings]

I just find watching porn wrong, I don't get why a man would pleasure himself whilst watching other women? Or a man and women making love?

Ok so you say it's on tv laptop etc, but how would you feel if it was infront of you? Would you be ok with it then? The difference is a screen that's all. I personally think it's wrong.

[Brokenwings]

I agree with stressed! Good answer!!