[Amber]

Wow Babygirl, he lied about ten years! Yikes! I think I would have died when I found out, especially since you already knew he was at least 15 years older than you. Were you mad at him at all for lying about that or were you too much in love to care?

I'll try not to discount out older guys completely. You just never see a 35 year old guy, open to meeting a 50 year old woman. Or a 45 year old open to meeting a 55 or 60. But the guys expect the women to be ok with this. I wonder if part of that has to do with looks since a lot of guys, looks is the first thing guys think of. Who knows!

[Stillness]

I know you're talking in generalities, but I have known a few couples where the woman was much older. It looks very weird. I had some buddies that got married where the woman was in her 40's and the man was the same age as her daughter. I never could figure it, because he was immature even for his age. That one didn't work, unfortunately. I had some other buddies that had been married a while (don't remember how long) where he was in his late 40's early 50's and she was in her 60's. I remember her daughter (his stepdaughter) teasing that he was not much older than her and that her mom was a cougar or something. He seemed to really love her deeply (I was closer to him, so I don't really know how she felt, but it seemed mutual) and they seemed happy. I worked with another guy that married a much older woman when he was young. It was cool until she got old and frail. He stuck with her until her dying day and cared for her in her old age, but he was in his late 40's early 50's when she died in her 70's. I did know him to be frustrated and go to topless bars and drink heavily while she was alive.

I personally think it's easier for a woman with an older man, just because of nature. Notice how even you allow for a man only a couple of years younger in your qualifications, but allow for seven years older. You never really know, even at the same age, how long your partner or you will live or maintain youth and health. So part of me thinks, go with love. At the same time, you have to be realistic when there is a large gap and know that you're getting into a relationship that will likely have some serious disparities. It's hard enough to make things work when two people are on the same page.

[jns]

I had a friend years ago that was in his 20s and he had a gf who was probably in her 40s. I think she was at one time a friend of his parents. I was over to her apartment a number of times with my friend. I lost touch with him a long time ago, so I don't know how it worked out over time.