[Magnetism]

You would think two women meeting each other for dating sounds easy, but it's really not. For the past few months, I've been dabbling my toes into the lesbian/bi world. It's not going anywhere. Women e-mail each other back and forth, and then nothing happens when you initiate an actual date. I sometimes feel like people just want attention. The women that tend to be the most aggressive are the masculine/butch types, which I'm not into.

I did go to a lesbian/gay bar the other day, and was told by a male gay couple that my friend (who is straight) and I were the most feminine women that they've ever seen step in the club. They said that most of the lesbians that are in there tend to be more masculine. I'm most attracted to women that are similar to me.

I've been asking people and looking for places that cater to meeting bisexual/femme lesbians. Not much luck. I think these struggles are one of the reasons why I stuck with men over the years. Everytime I tried to find the right woman, I would give up due to lack of options.

You also have to be careful of men pretending to be women or women that just want you for a threesome. People online also collect photos of you.

Does anyone have any advice on how a woman can find some success with this? I wish same-sex dating was as easy and open as hetero-dating!

[Magnetism]

Adult friend finder costs money and I would be even more weary of the people on there, especially with putting your photo up. I wonder if there's an option to only have your profile looked at by women only. One of the biggest obstacles in the bisexual dating scene is men responding to your ad when you say that you're only looking for women.

There are some other lesbian clubs that I might hop into. I definitely know how men feel when they get rejected! I messaged a few attractive women on okcupid, but got no responses. It's fun pursuing women and being the aggressor for once. With same sex-dating, some of the hetero rules go out the window.

[Hugo-B]

You need to find someone to go to a gay bar with so you can make friends there and integrate into new social groups.

Alternatively you need to join a proper dating site which costs money so the number of time-wasters you meet are minimized.

x

[Magnetism]

You need to find someone to go to a gay bar with so you can make friends there and integrate into new social groups.

Alternatively you need to join a proper dating site which costs money so the number of time-wasters you meet are minimized.

x

buddhaboy

My straight friend and I did go to a gay/lesbian bar. I chatted up a cute girl that first said she was straight, but then later said she was curious. We exchanged numbers, but she didn't respond to my text when I asked her if she wanted to grab a drink sometime.

There were more gay guys than girls. There didn't seem to be much of a scene going on at match.com.

[Hugo-B]

OK then, firstly find another site, preferably a good one like 'My Single friend' (I think this covers the USA now), Badoo, or Eharmony and register.

Internet dating is, IMO, just as much work as meeting someone in real life, since you still have to meet up and click in 'real life' once you've met online. Online dating is good IMO, and worthwhile as long as your attitude and expectations are healthy and realistic because you are able to get in touch with people you'd normally not meet.

So, my little Magnetism, the three P's apply here: Patience, persistence, and perseverance. They apply for online and real life dating. Re the girl in the bar: just don't give up, the same advice would apply for a man, if I told you I met a girl in a bar and she gave me her number then went cold on me you'd tell me not to give up and carry on looking. Well, this is what you need to do. I actually think you did OK for your first night out! Go back there, or somewhere similar and simply mingle and see what the lay of the land is.

As you know, meeting people is HARD work; it is DIFFICULT to find someone to love who'll love you back, and the same applies regardless of your sexual orientation, I hope you don't think this is a shortcut? One sneaky online trick is to open a straight account and just PM the girls on there explaining the situation. I'm on Plenty of Fish now and I've had girls telling me Im the first man who hasn't sent and/or requested naked pictures and who can spell properly and doesn't write like a child sending a text. I've had loads of girls send a message or two and then disappear on me, so you're not alone in your struggle! I had a date Monday which didn't go badly but there was just no 'click' or chemistry (shame, she was HOt) and I've got a few more lined up over the next week or so (hot French chick and a hot Persian chick, in answer to the question in your other thread, yes foreign girls fin me more attractive :-), so I'll just see how things pan out.

I actually think it may be harder for girls to meet girls since so many women purport to be 'bi' because naive men find it hot and get all excited about it. Many women also purport to be 'bi curious' with no intention of acting upon it.

In short I would put more effort into 'real life' dating and keep your options open. Either way (as in men or women) going out, having fun and meeting new people is the main thing, this is also the key to meeting new people and integrating into their social groups and in turn meeting more new people.

Good luck, I think you'll meet someone soon x

[jns]

I did go to a lesbian/gay bar the other day, and was told by a male gay couple that my friend (who is straight) and I were the most feminine women that they've ever seen step in the club. They said that most of the lesbians that are in there tend to be more masculine. I'm most attracted to women that are similar to me.

Most continuing lesbian relationships I have seen have a butch and a femme. If someone tries to move in on the femme, be it a guy or a girl, the butch usually gets very angry. Therefore, if you are looking for a femme, be careful.

Because there is a relatively small percent of people who are into same sex relationships, it will probably take more work finding someone. Good luck.

[DreamP346]

Most continuing lesbian relationships I have seen have a butch and a femme. If someone tries to move in on the femme, be it a guy or a girl, the butch usually gets very angry. Therefore, if you are looking for a femme, be careful.

This is a very stereotyped view on lesbian relationships. Its not that way at all. I've seen all different types and just because someone appears butch on the outside, that does not automatically mean they are possessive and will get mad. Just like heteosexual relationships, men don't automatically get angry if somebody hits on their girlfriends just because they are a man.

[Magnetism]

JNS-lol, my friend (who has lesbian friends) think that it's much easier to meet gay people than straight people. Since she's not in the scene, she may not fully understand what it's like. In fact, all of the people I've met that think it's easy for 2 bisexual woman to meet are straight men and women. Lesbians and bisexual women share the same opinion as I.

It's actually a blessing in disguise that the pretty girl didn't respond to my text, because I had a gut feeling that the two people (a straight guy and another girl) came off as shady. I still asked her out for curiosity, but I'm over the initial feel of rejection. Things happen for a reason.

[jns]

This is a very stereotyped view on lesbian relationships. Its not that way at all. I've seen all different types and just because someone appears butch on the outside, that does not automatically mean they are possessive and will get mad. Just like heteosexual relationships, men don't automatically get angry if somebody hits on their girlfriends just because they are a man.

I suppose I could think it was a stereotyped description, but this is what I have seen with my own two eyes. I live in an area that has a lot of same sex relationships. When I go to clubs to see music, there are plenty people of all persuasions. When I was living in Hollywood, I would go hang out with my gay friends some of the time. BTW, you cannot go by appearance to tell about relationships.

[jns]

JNS-lol, my friend (who has lesbian friends) think that it's much easier to meet gay people than straight people. Since she's not in the scene, she may not fully understand what it's like. In fact, all of the people I've met that think it's easy for 2 bisexual woman to meet are straight men and women. Lesbians and bisexual women share the same opinion as I.

It's actually a blessing in disguise that the pretty girl didn't respond to my text, because I had a gut feeling that the two people (a straight guy and another girl) came off as shady. I still asked her out for curiosity, but I'm over the initial feel of rejection. Things happen for a reason.

Keep going at it until you find someone who seems reasonably compatible. Looks is not the end all of it, but it may be a start for a conversation.

About your friend, being sexually attracted to the same sex doesn't mean that you will settle for the first person that comes along. Since she has lesbian friends, she is probably around her friends' acquaintances who probably don't pass up a possible opportunity to meet someone that they may be compatible with. Thus the misunderstanding.