[Minnie11]

Should I tell my male friend the reasons why I don't want to date him?

Here's the thing: you're either friends or lovers. If you both don't want the same kind of relationship, there'll always be some kind of an awkwardness, or an issue between you that interferes with the true friendship. It makes it uncomfortable. You can't just be you, because you always have to "remind" him what your opinion is, and he can't be just him either, because he always has to do something differently, act differently, or change his ways, in order to be just your "friend". Doesn't that eat away at your relationship? If the true nature of your relationship with him is supposed to be just friendship, and you have to constantly remind him of exactly that, it gets awkward and exhausting, and yes, weird. No offense, just saying. But its not rare that things like that happen, and continue to happen, because the "chased" party quite enjoys the game.

[Magnetism]

Thanks Minnie for clarifying and thank you everyone for the comments.

I don't intend to sound snobby or classist with my preferences. These preferences didn't just come up out of nowhere, but they came from my own personal experiences. I have vivid memories of dating a man in college that felt very threatened by me being ahead of him. I remember him trying to sabotage my efforts to move forward and improve myself. When I would encourage him to do better (like go to class or finish college on time), he had no interest. 10 years later, it turns out that he's working at daddy's subway and he 's okay with that.

I have also dated people that I wasn't sexually attracted to, but I have seen how it hurts both people. So far, I tend to be most sexually attracted to those that are closer to my age.

Hope everyone is having a good new year.

[njoki]

He will probably ask you...

[Magnetism]

He hasn't asked anything. In fact, I think he justifies me not liking him by saying that I like girls. I am attracted to SOME guys, just not him.

[Magnetism]

It saddens me to say that this friend passed away, so I feel awful for even starting this thread about someone that was known as a kind and sweet soul. His sudden death proved my gut instincts right. I've always suspected that he would end up with medical conditions. Rip dear friend.

[jns]

I'm so sorry to hear of this, Magnetism.