My boyfriend and I have been dating for 5 1/2 years. He's 24 and I'm 26. I make sure I stay in shape for him, buy new bras, laungerey, etc. We have had a good sex life, it goes through phases, for a while our sex life will be amazing and then we'll go through phases where we have sex less and its not as exciting. I give him head and try to try new positions, etc. but he does want to do some things I don't really enjoy, like anal for example. Our sex life hasn't been that great lately and I thought maybe it had to with him loosing his job last month. But I downloaded a computer search program and found out he has been looking at porn. I caught him the first time about 3 years ago and I got really upset, I know maybe I'm being old fashioned or prudy but I told him it really hurt my feelings, made me feel like I wasn't enough, etc. And he apologized and said he would look at it anymore. Then I caught him again about a year later, the same thing happened. I told him I really think it hurts our relationship because I worry hes thinking about these girl, it makes me feel insecure and trust him less because he lies to me about it.
Most recently I caught him about 4 months ago and he was sooo apologetic and said he has a problem, etc. but he would tell me if he broke down and did it again. I said okay because the lying bothers me a lot. Most recently, the other night I thought he may have been looking at porn and i asked him about it. He said he hadn't but I didn't quite believe him, I asked him again later and he looked right in my eyes and promised that he wasn't.
Obviously him looking at porn bothers me (makes me feel insecure, unwanted, etc.) but the fact that he could look me right in the eyes, multiple times and lie to me is what really worries me. I have read a lot of online posts and people say if hes lying and you can't handle him looking at porn, you should probably just break up. But obviously that easy for people to say that aren't in the relationship. I really feel like hes my soul mate, hes the only person I've ever been really comfortable with and I love him soo much but him being able to look me in the eyes and lie to me, obviously isn't okay. I really don't know what to do.
Most recently I caught him about 4 months ago and he was sooo apologetic and said he has a problem, etc. but he would tell me if he broke down and did it again. I said okay because the lying bothers me a lot. Most recently, the other night I thought he may have been looking at porn and i asked him about it. He said he hadn't but I didn't quite believe him, I asked him again later and he looked right in my eyes and promised that he wasn't.
Obviously him looking at porn bothers me (makes me feel insecure, unwanted, etc.) but the fact that he could look me right in the eyes, multiple times and lie to me is what really worries me. I have read a lot of online posts and people say if hes lying and you can't handle him looking at porn, you should probably just break up. But obviously that easy for people to say that aren't in the relationship. I really feel like hes my soul mate, hes the only person I've ever been really comfortable with and I love him soo much but him being able to look me in the eyes and lie to me, obviously isn't okay. I really don't know what to do.
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