[a_dub]

No I haven't seen him since. He lives about 40 minutes from me, and we just have not been able to connect again. Then I left town, now he's out of town until after the New Year.

We are in regular contact daily tho so, we will get together in a week or so I guess.

He's spending the whole week with family, which I found endearing. He could be on a nice vacation but chose to spend the time with family. He is close with his siblings and neices/nephews and I love that.

So, we will see. I really like what I'm seeing and no BS flags have been cued. Lol

Sounds very promising!

Best of luck, Kitty!

[atskitty2]

Well, so much for that lol

At least he was thoughtful enough to text me and let me know that he was going to give it another try with an old gf. That's what he said anyway.

I appreciate not being ghosted

Have been getting to know a couple other guys though, but neither have raised my interest a great deal yet.

[jns]

Well, so much for that lol

At least he was thoughtful enough to text me and let me know that he was going to give it another try with an old gf. That's what he said anyway.

I appreciate not being ghosted

Have been getting to know a couple other guys though, but neither have raised my interest a great deal yet.

Sorry to hear that.

When a relationship has ended in my life, I have committed to never go back. I did one time and it end just like it did the first time. The same ex gf tried it for a third time, but I wasn't having it. Going back seems to be somewhat part of a passive/aggressive pattern. It seems to be a waste of time. It also shows lack of true commitment.

[atskitty2]

I have no idea the nature of that relationship or why it ended. He seems to be a level headed and honest, genuine guy so I take him at his word.

Our relationship was brief, and was hardly advanced enough to leave me heartbroken.

Last time a guy left me for a former gf, he wound up begging for me to take him back 6 months later. He literally begged, yes.
I figure, if you didn't feel a deep enough connection to me to leave me for something that you know won't likely work, then we have little to build on anyway...so, it's better I know now.

It is discouraging however. I did feel a comfort with him that I don't usually so I was looking forward to seeing where it went.

[Monique Kova]

Be a man and understand that no chemistry means no attraction and then move on. That is about as direct a woman can get. The "I just want to be friends" seals the deal. Once you are in that category, there is no hope. Thank the lady for her honesty and then quit wasting time.

[Adam077]

My story is pretty annoying. We started dating slow cause we were both in abusive relationship. we mentioned that we wanted to be slow. So we went out 5 times. And have been talking for 1.5- 2 months between. There has been kissing and hand holding from the 4th date and on. When i saw the girl for the last time, she kissed me on mouth. I totally felt she was attracted to me.
then christmas came and we both flew back to our home country (hungary) she asked if we meet there. That time i was so happy and confident, i shared my biggest and deepest things with here. She was pretty fair and mature with me.

then suddenly she cancelled the christmas date with strange reasons but offered meeting up in London.
ok so we came back, still talking everyday on messenger.
i started a new job and she was wishing me a good start in the first second third day etc.

then i asked her out for the sixth date, and suddenly she said YES BUT she realised there is no chemistry ( remember we havet seen each other for a month before that, and everything looked positive until the christmas break)

in a text! She even said i didnt have chemistry towards her - if course i had and i told her yes! And everything looked fine.
then i asked her if we should stop or meet again and see and she said "i dont know"

Ladies and gents. We were 34 and 36, with degrees in psychology and engineering.
what the heck is this? It's so painful after my abusive one.

did she play a test? Or how in earth she culd have misled me like this...

[jns]

My story is pretty annoying. We started dating slow cause we were both in abusive relationship. we mentioned that we wanted to be slow. So we went out 5 times. And have been talking for 1.5- 2 months between. There has been kissing and hand holding from the 4th date and on. When i saw the girl for the last time, she kissed me on mouth. I totally felt she was attracted to me.
then christmas came and we both flew back to our home country (hungary) she asked if we meet there. That time i was so happy and confident, i shared my biggest and deepest things with here. She was pretty fair and mature with me.

then suddenly she cancelled the christmas date with strange reasons but offered meeting up in London.
ok so we came back, still talking everyday on messenger.
i started a new job and she was wishing me a good start in the first second third day etc.

then i asked her out for the sixth date, and suddenly she said YES BUT she realised there is no chemistry ( remember we havet seen each other for a month before that, and everything looked positive until the christmas break)

in a text! She even said i didnt have chemistry towards her - if course i had and i told her yes! And everything looked fine.
then i asked her if we should stop or meet again and see and she said "i dont know"

Ladies and gents. We were 34 and 36, with degrees in psychology and engineering.
what the heck is this? It's so painful after my abusive one.

did she play a test? Or how in earth she culd have misled me like this...

Welcome to WH Interactive Forums.

I don't think she played a real test. I think you may have read more from her actions than she intended with the kiss on the mouth. She may have been expecting shooting stars and didn't get any. Did you kiss back with passion or were you hesitant?

Have you two had any intimate conversations and playfully teased each other intimately? Have you been silly (in a good way) with each other? Have you done anything notable together? If not, why not? If you want a real relationship, it has to be built on shared experiences.

I am an engineer by training and trade and certification. I grew up poor but my parents strongly encouraged us kids to get degrees. When I went looking for a life partner, I found I was more comfortable with women of a similar background. I didn't think that I had to have a mate of the same education level or be from the same country. So my first real relationship was with a young lady from another country. So was my second one. My third one was from even another country and that is the one I married and have been married to for over 30 years. Our education levels are very much different.

The point is: are you trying to fit a square peg into a round hole and it is not fitting? Do you both want the same thing out of a relationship. Are you both comfortable with letting down your guard with each other? Are you two trying to create a relationship that is good for you two or is it because of how others will judge it?

[Adam077]

To be fair yes, she was pretty constructive/ positive after the first kisses, and then after the last date as well. And it was building with innuendos and gestures after.
i donno how she could have "realised" there wasnt chemistry after one month of not seeing each other... i find it cruel. It's like she forgot how she approached me a week before , or what happened in person on the 10th december.

and remember she was the one who allegedly suffered more previously, and we agreed to be slow.
since again allegedly we were both in abusive relationship ( she was in marriage for 8ys); she could have wait at least to meet again, if she had any doubts.

[Adam077]

The importance of the profession is just that she is a psychologist, so she could have been straight. By the way people after abusive relationship ( if they are healed) tend to be either very direct and straight or at least honest themselves, and not pretending and using others, if there is no chemistry really ...

[Jelcee42]

You’re boring, lack passion, don’t have great hygiene, she’s not comfortable with you, she’s not attracted to you, or a combination of the former. My advice is to not chase, take it to the chin like a Man, and move the f-ck on to someone who shares your mutual interest.