[raczbac]

No I kind of knew before we sat down for coffee that it wasn't going to go well. She was a famous journalist it turned out, so it was interesting talking to her, but yeah clearly in the no chemistry camp. Wouldn't have asked her out again even without the finger tapping.

So being calm is attractive to you. Interesting. The only way I can be calm on a date is if I know it's not going to work out, nothing to lose then. But I can cover it up reasonably well. So what percentage of the time did he talk? I saw somewhere in this thread it's best to just let the girl talk the whole time. Also, did he make you laugh? How?

[atskitty2]

I think the calm demeanor just appeared as confidence to me. No shaking hands, fidgeting around, flipping forks onto the floor, dropping things, etc...which has been pretty common on my first dates.

He was just as cool as I was, just talking and getting to know each other, no weird sense of expectations looming over the table. There was a bit of confusion with the service, the table and our server...He rolled with it and was a complete gentleman and kind to the manager and server. He just handled himself so nicely. It wasn't a big deal but the management seemed to wanna make it one.
That was very telling to me.

We talked pretty equally I think. I may have edged him out a little.

There was some laughing....don't honestly remember what about. He has a science background, as do I, and our senses of humor seem similar. I laugh easily, and have a dry, sometimes dark wit. He got it, which is rare. So that was another thing I liked.

I ordered a sandwich, and when it came out, it was about twice the size I'd expected, and really thicker than these veggie sandwiches typically are...so it was not a very dainty sandwich to eat...i made a mess quite honestly! He just giggled and I did too. I was comfortable enough to make a mess and not be embarrassed and he was comfortable enough to giggle at me and joke with me, without being a jerk about it. It was just relaxed and fun, and he seems like a genuinely thoughtful & well mannered man.

[raczbac]

Sounds very promising. Curious about something else. If there was no sense of expectation over the table how did you distinguish it from say just a meal with a friend? How did he indicate his interest beyond friendship? If this is too personal no problem, don't answer. I'm just a very cerebral type that likes to think logic can be applied to every problem.

[atskitty2]

I'm on a forum; ) I don't mind sharing and especially if it may be helpful.

Guess I should qualify that statement by saying that there weren't heightened or undue expectations that were palpable. He actually thanked me for meeting with him, which was different. And at this point, a friendship is the best approach. Obviously we met on a dating site, so there's that underlying agenda, but I do want my partner to be a good friend too.

There was no indication by either of us of any interest beyond seeing each other again. That's really all I would expect after a first date. I hugged him goodnight and we've continued texting.

I have so many mediocre dates that I get pretty excited when someone is interesting to me. I actually look forward to seeing him again.

Btw, I'm going to start a thread on compatibility and attraction if you're interested in following it and contributing.

[raczbac]

Yes I'd be interested in that thread.Kind of thinking of taking a time out from dating though, or at least the online stuff. It's so addicting. Maybe not a whole year like your friend. Find some activities other than work and stressing over my divorce. We'll see. Good luck with your new friend plus, a lucky man no doubt.

[atskitty2]

I think you'd be surprised how much better you feel after some time alone to regroup and settle your mind a bit more.

Every time I have taken a hiatus, I have learned something that caused me to change my approach to dating in general or to the online game. You say it's addicting. You probably would benefit from some time away from it.

[Popcorn&Candy]

How is the dating going, MrDarcy? I am definitely sure the right woman is waiting for you. Forget the other ones. You're a great guy: the right woman will realize this.

[atskitty2]

Popcorn, it looks like McDarcy hasn't been back to post on this thread for 3+ yrs, so I doubt that you get a response, though I'd be pleased if you did!

[amy40]

There was some laughing....don't honestly remember what about. He has a science background, as do I, and our senses of humor seem similar. I laugh easily, and have a dry, sometimes dark wit. He got it, which is rare. So that was another thing I liked.
he seems like a genuinely thoughtful & well mannered man.

kitty
have you had any more dates with him?
hope so

[atskitty2]

No I haven't seen him since. He lives about 40 minutes from me, and we just have not been able to connect again. Then I left town, now he's out of town until after the New Year.

We are in regular contact daily tho so, we will get together in a week or so I guess.

He's spending the whole week with family, which I found endearing. He could be on a nice vacation but chose to spend the time with family. He is close with his siblings and neices/nephews and I love that.

So, we will see. I really like what I'm seeing and no BS flags have been cued. Lol