[soph300493]

My boyfriend had been acting weird for a while, and last night he cracked and told me it won't work between us because hes attracted to women but likes men's genitals. He told me he has had anal sex with men in the past who are dressed like women, this made my skin crawl as I have had unprotected sex with him and I've just found out he has had anal with men! I have never been so shocked and hurt that he has let me fall in love with him knowing that I could never be what he wants. He's confused and won't tell his family what is going on, which frustrates me and makes me want to tell them! Which I know would be wrong. I just feel like I've been living a lie, like I don't even know him anymore.

[Stillness]

At least you found out before you got married or had a baby with him. Think about how bad that would've been. Get a check up to make sure you didn't get anything. Cut your losses and run.

[rcoreyus]

He was living the lie himself. Sexual orientation can be very confusing to people. I agree with stillness, at least now you konw.

[Obelisk]

At least you found out before you got married or had a baby with him. Think about how bad that would've been. Get a check up to make sure you didn't get anything. Cut your losses and run.

Yup, hard advice to take, but absolutely crucial.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Soph, really not much more to add. I admire him for "coming out" that's a hard thing to do, to be straight forward and honest.

However, what I will add is this. He has had sex with men in the past. He knows he likes the look of a lady. Whether he lost you or not, had a chance with you or not, he was selfish in as much as maybe as the boys are stating, finding out which way he is going to go in life, but in doing so, he kept a secret from you which I don't think a guy has the right to do, if it was un-protected anal sex with another man/men...

Maybe you should ask him that, whether or not they used condoms and if not, maybe you should go and get yourself checked out to be sure that you are safe, which I am sure you are but best to check.

I don't care what people do with their lives, their sexual preferences either. But, I do care if they are selfish in their actions.

Your boyfriend may not have been, he may have checked himself and knew he was safe for you... Let's hope that is the case.

As for falling in love with someone you can't have. I feel for you.. There had to have been an inkling. Or, is he still hiding behind a mask, that being a woman... In front of family.

I would be asking the same questions you are and feeling the same way you are. I suggest you talk further to him so that you can get some form of closure on those questions.