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online dating - too much too soon?

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  • online dating - too much too soon?

    I'm on a dating website. This guy approaches me. I'm not sure by his pictures if I'm attracted to him or not but I figured I would give it a chance. In his profile for his title he puts, I'm not a bad guy so what am I doing wrong. I'm kind of wondering if I'm finding that out.

    After one short email, he gives me his phone number. I told him I don't give out my phone number that quickly. I would like to email a guy back a forth a bit to get to know him a little bit. So he says ok and he asks me a few questions.

    That is Monday evening and then Tuesday evening I was planning on emailing him back. Before I even respond back, I get two more emails from him. Then one more in the evening around 6pm on Tuesday saying did I scare you away? It has only been about 24hrs! Really? So I email him back that night saying no, you didn't scare me away. I ask him another question or two. Within a half of an hour he emails me back.

    I had no time to email him again last night. I had planned on answering his questions tonight. I just get another email about a half of an hour ago. In addition to the two questions he asked me last night, which i haven't responded back to yet, he asks about six to seven more. He also puts this.

    After reading your profile, I too am looking for my partner in crime, my soul mate. i'd like to get remarried again someday, but I need to make sure the girl I'm with is sweet and kind. A soul mate. Someone who I can't wait to come home and see after work. I have a tendency to hug a lot. Hopefully someday soon, I can give you a preview.


    Maybe I'm horrible but my skin is now crawling. I have never met this guy and he is already talking about hugging me soon. And how he is looking for his soul mate. Does this guy sound clingy, needy, or is this just sweet? Some may say sweet but I'm not really feeling that with him!

    Yes, I mention in my profile that I'm looking for my partner in crime but I'm thinking future. It just feels all so strange to be talking about this to a guy I haven't even met yet!! I know I'm probably just overacting but he is just starting to aggravate me here. I don't even want to email him tonight now after this!!! I'm thinking hold your horses!!!!! Also, he has made me his favorite on the website and then points it out to me. Which can see this for myself. How wonderful, I'm your favorite...not!!

    Any thoughts?
    [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR="#000080"]Why do we fall, sir? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. ~Alfred Pennyworth, Batman Begins[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

  • Oh I remember these types of guys They rarely get to communicate because for the most part, one email is enough, after that it's stalking and so, the girls block him... But, you haven't and so, he's continuing on and on and on and on oh dear

    He wants her to be sweet and kind and then hug her to death. What about, looking for simular morals, simular hobbies, someone who makes him laugh, someone he would love to walk the beaches and the hills and dine with?

    He's after anyone really... He doesn't know what he's looking for.

    I personally would not write back...
    PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

    Comment


    • Something tells me if I don't reply back to his email, I'll get ten more in the next 24hrs. CW, I'm actually considering that blocking option right about now. I think I have had enough of this guy.

      I'm sick and tired of guys who show how very desperate they are.

      Thanks for your response CW :-)
      [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR="#000080"]Why do we fall, sir? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. ~Alfred Pennyworth, Batman Begins[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

      Comment


      • Block him.

        In general, online dating is brutal and I personally am no fan of it.
        Pigeonholer extraordinaire!

        Comment


        • No worries Amber, thanks for asking us.

          It's a difficult journey for sure but sometimes it can be fun and sometimes we can make friends or better, find someone, not always.
          PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

          Comment


          • I would forget online dating completely. Women don't need it.

            Just go to a mall and smile at guys you like. I guarantee you'll have a bf in a week
            Pigeonholer extraordinaire!

            Comment


            • i met my husband on an online dating site and we have been married for 6 years now. but i did have to meet a lot of "not my type" guys first. i couldn't just go to the mall. i live in a very rural area and the nearest mall is an hour away. but on that note, what i learned about dating on line is to not second guess myself. if he is creeping you out, just block him. there are many more men out there. just be careful. you never know when one could be a creeper.

              Comment


              • Unfortunately online dating has a large bulk of men who couldn't get a girlfriend by asking out women in a mall. They can get pretty desperate.

                You're right, there's always success stories, but the ratio of men to women is usually 100 to 1, and 99 of those guys are online for a reason or other.
                Pigeonholer extraordinaire!

                Comment


                • Maybe I’m too naive, I’m sure there are some predatory people online and you know what you’re doing. He’s probably a very lonely person, socially awkward too, but isn’t it mean to block someone without even telling him why? When blocking someone does it give an opportunity for you to give him an up-front explanation that you’re not interested. Maybe help him out by telling him he comes across as too needy and he may be chasing other women away also. Give him a clue. Of course, this could be really bad advice, what do I know. I try to see the good in people. I’d be really bad at online dating if I had to do it.

                  Comment


                  • You might try to tell the guy - hey, you're coming on too strong. As you probably know, people who have NO IDEA what they're doing wrong have often already heard what they're doing wrong and aren't listening. Some of them respond violently to confrontation. You probably don't have time for that, and it's not your responsibility to educate him if you don't want to. Remember if you receive any emails that seem violent or abusive, to report them to the dating site you found him on. I agree with your gut that you should run, not walk, from this guy, but the method is up to you.
                    <center><i>Nature gives us shapeless shapes,<br>Clouds and waves and flame,<br>But human expectation is that love remains the same,<br>And when it doesn’t, we point our fingers and blame.</i><br><a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/register.php">Register</a>|<a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/members/little.html">Contact Admin</a>|<a href="mailto:support*womens-health.com?subject=Forum Contact">Email Admin</a></center>

                    Comment


                    • What I ended up doing was sending a very short email saying after reading this email, I can easily see we are not right for each other. I'm sorry but I'm going to pass. Goodbye.

                      That email probably made him wonder what he did wrong but I don't really care if he is thinking that. I say that because I have emailed men being nice, saying why it is not going to work. They get very defensive and nasty. Stick that.

                      Then you got the guys who say, oh I won't do that again, or some other bull. But this guy there was too many red flags that I have no desire to just over look. For one thing he couldn't stop contact me before I even sent him a reply note. 6pm came along and he was emailing me again. I felt like he was already just waiting to come home to contact me. Just like his email of him coming home to a woman.

                      He is already talking about soulmates and partners in crime to me, while we haven't even met or talked on the phone yet!! Soulmates don't come for me until way long down the road. He thinks he is so crazy about me but he knows nothing about me. I was asking him questions and he wasn't asking me anything back until the last two emails. And then the final straw was the fact that he was expecting to hug him really soon and he liked hugging a lot of times. That made my skin crawl, finally answering my question if I was really attracted or not. I guess not!

                      There is a guy who just loves the idea that someone is actually paying attention to him. Desperate!!

                      I read about blocking in the help section. I'm finding out you can block him so he can't email you. But what I'm not too happy about is there is no way to block him so he can't see my profile anymore. I just looked at my section that says who has looked at my profile. He did in the last half hour. Ugg! Get over me buddy and move on!!!

                      Little, I have been lucky not to have any really abusive emails but I'll make sure to remember to report them if I do. The ones who get nasty just send the last email and it ends.
                      [SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][COLOR="#000080"]Why do we fall, sir? So we can learn to pick ourselves up. ~Alfred Pennyworth, Batman Begins[/COLOR][/FONT][/SIZE]

                      Comment


                      • That guy should just look for information on the internet about what he's doing wrong. Unfortunately he will probably blame the women, "they" are evil because they don't give him a chance.

                        There's no excuse for anyone to be a moron nowadays, forums like this one exist. Dude should be coming here and asking what did he do wrong. But alas, he won't.
                        Pigeonholer extraordinaire!

                        Comment


                        • Have to ask.

                          Is that you Obelisk in the picture ? :P

                          I remembering cringing myself Amber, seeing them still looking at my Profile "last 10 people to view your profile" .... Erg.
                          PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                          Comment


                          • Originally posted by CHANDLERS WISH View Post
                            Have to ask.

                            Is that you Obelisk in the picture ? :P

                            I remembering cringing myself Amber, seeing them still looking at my Profile "last 10 people to view your profile" .... Erg.
                            Yup it's me lol.

                            I tried online dating once. I'd get women chatting with me, a few times, then they'd disappear. Never knew why. I was not being the creep like this guy. I just chatted like "how's your day, what are you hoping to find, etc etc."
                            Pigeonholer extraordinaire!

                            Comment




                            • Nice guns.

                              Anyways, I'm trying to think back to when I tried that scene... I think the funny sarcasm worked for me, humor.

                              20 Questions made me un-comfortable or just chit chat that had no meaning behind it.

                              I think if I was asked "how's your day been" I'd feel like an invasion you don't know me at all, yet... And, often that leads to, what type of work do you do, where about in Adelaide do you live etc etc ...
                              PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                              Comment

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