[jen1447]

hard working

At the risk of sounding like a taskmaster, that's a trait that can't be undervalued. You always run the risk of becoming 'mommy' if they're not.

[atskitty2]

Archer do you think that I'm not giving him a fair chance?
I'm trying to feel my way thru this so I appreciate your feedback.

[Trixareforkids]

With that many things that feel like red flags, really I'd just get out, and anyone who was hesitant to tell me their last name after we'd been on a 1st date would NEVER get another date. Honestly, for safety's sake before I'd let someone in my house (or I went into theirs) I'd want a last name and then I'd share the name and date/time of the planned visit with a friend beforehand. That's not paranoia it's a safety precaution, so if at any point you start to feel unsafe you can honestly say (or casually mention) that you told a friend about the date. I used to do this for a friend of mine, before the days of cell phones, and she'd call me as soon as she got home/he left with an all clear and how it went. Now with cell phones it's as easy as a quick text beforehand. 99 times out of 100 it's going to be fine but it will never hurt knowing someone has your back just in case.

[atskitty2]

Yep Trix. Actually I do that, I just don't put all those details in here-its a given. I have 2 guys that I give all the info, who would drop anything to come for me, and even texted the home address once I pulled into the driveway. Nope, not paranoid...not that naive either. I agree with ya Lady!!

And something I may never have mentioned here, I don't really live alone, so we aren't alone at my house.
But again, some violent potential isn't my first concern...can't rule out after 2 weeks of course but I'm not picking up a sense of underlying anger or violence in him, just the hint he may have trust or control issues. Hints only.

I have thought what you said many times, that with this many questions in my mind I need to just leave it-so many doubts, why push forward...But I'm trying to push my boundaries, feel out this whole dating thing and learn something about myself and this whole experience, rather than find every little negative and run away. I want to be open and make some efforts with this dating stuff, otherwise I'll forever be dismissing good guys because I detect a few drawbacks, which are always going to be found.
Essentially, what Archer says above, is what I'm trying to avoid. I see it in my single friends...I'm not wanting to be that way. I've got hangups too, and I'm sure they show to him too.

Bigger picture here, I really don't have anything to be seriously concerned about, but there are a couple things that are indicative that we may not be compatible. So I'm trying to see that through, sort it out before I cut and run. He's proven that he will open up and discuss if I ask for clarification on something so I'm putting some effort in. I'm not so invested that I'd have difficulty if I never heard from him again, but I do think I need to work on this, for my own growth if nothing else.

[jen1447]

I like that approach.

[Trixareforkids]

I like that approach too

[atskitty2]

Do you ladies remember the dating lives of the Seinfeld characters? Lol.

[jen1447]

I was never too much into Seinfeld tho I know about them all in general ...okay what happened now sweetie?

[atskitty2]

Nothing...I haven't seen him I've been working so much.
I was just thinking about the characters being so dramatically petty that they'd dump someone because they're a low talker or something silly...

[jen1447]

Oh I gotcha ....don't think you're being at all petty tho with your concerns.