[ThisOneThought]

Just as what the heading implies: I have fallen for my brother's best friend.

I've known him a little over ten years now. We've never dated before and quite frankly I have never given it much thought. He's my brother's best friend, why would I? But recently I am just now starting to feel like he is probably the best guy for me. We get along great, we make each other laugh, we find each other attractive, he isn't turned off that I have a kid (in fact, he has told me he finds a woman who is a good mother attractive). For a few years now we've been flirty with each other. Usually on nights where we've let loose and had a few drinks. The next day we pretend like nothing happened and go about the way we normally are, and it never feels awkward. We've never had sex, we have kissed before, and cuddled together in bed a few times. I have just always told him that I didn't think it was a good idea since he's my brother's friend. He seemed to agree.

Just recently, he has gotten into a relationship with a friend of mine, someone I met through work. And now that he is with her, my feelings for him have come out with mad force. The other night, a bunch of friends and I had gone to his place to finish off our night of drinks and fun, and not only did he and I flirt like crazy, but he kissed me and we spent a lot of time talking. I felt bad afterwards because he is with her now. Although she and I have only known each other a few months, we aren't super close, I still respect her. But if I am going to be honest to myself, then I have to admit yes, I am jealous. I wish I had taken an opportunity with him before she had the chance. I'm hoping that they don't work out now so that I can have my chance with him. I even talked to my brother and he almost seemed offended by the fact that he was used as an excuse for us not to get together...he says, he's not blind and he's seen us havin feelings for each other for a few years now lol!

thoughts please?

[Pollon]

I would guess that part of this is that you enjoyed the tension of NOT being able to date him (because of your brother). That gives the relationship a sense of safety. In other words it's a "It can't happen, so there's nothing to lose" situation. That can be very freeing.

Now that that relationship is in jeopardy, your turf is being threatened which stirs up some feelings.

You ought to have an open and honest conversation with the guy. Tell him you'd be interested in dating him and seeing about a potential future together. However, you are not going to be sneaky about it. You are going to wait until he ends things with the other girl before you are going to do ANYTHING with him.

[Patti-here]

Don't let the green eyed monster get in your way,, what does it matter if he's your brothers best friend,, go after what you want,, you don't compete for a man Use persuasion,, if you see something you want, go after it..

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Seems you have your brother's permission but I am not sure if that is all that stood in your way?

Sometimes, what we can't have we want. Perhaps you didn't see him as anything more than that, until this girl came along and then naturally jealousy came into play, because any hugs or kisses stolen can't occur and you were basically the one in control now he is.

I think that you have to honestly ask yourself " Can I see myself with him in a relationship and long term?" and if the answer is yes, then I certainly agree, talk to him.

It may be unfair to the other woman but, in real life, nothing stops real love from happening.

[ThisOneThought]

I have thought so too, I mean they have been dating less than a month so I didn't think it would be too unfair to just be open and honest with him about my feelings.
It's not like they have really invested too much into their relationship. I guess my biggest fear now would be, of course, rejection. What if he is not ready for a relationship with me? What if, even with baby bro's permission, he still doesn't feel that it's the right thing to do? I mean, because if we ever did end up in a relationship and things went south, we'd pretty much still be stuck having to be around each other at times because of his relationship with my brother and not to mention the rest of the family he is close to as well.

And to answer the question Chandlers Wish, I think yes, I could see myself in a relationship with him for long-term. We already know each other well. At one point he even lived with us, my family, when he was in a transition phase of his life. He pretty much meets all of my expectations of a man. Steady work history, good work ethic, loves kids, loves my family, doesn't smoke, is independent, has the personality I like, the attraction is there, he even goes to church. I am almost beating myself up for not seeing all of this before. lol

[CHANDLERS WISH]

But. If it's meant to be it will. So if he says no now, for any reason really, imagine later when he is in your position and "almost beats himself up for not seeing it himself"

But. What if he just felt you didn't see him that way and so, moved on with life and is over the moon you feel this way

There are too many buts in life. What is meant to be will be.

Be brave

They will still be friends after, you can't stop strong friendships either.

[Motorguy]

Just as what the heading implies: I have fallen for my brother's best friend.

I've known him a little over ten years now. We've never dated before and quite frankly I have never given it much thought. He's my brother's best friend, why would I? But recently I am just now starting to feel like he is probably the best guy for me. We get along great, we make each other laugh, we find each other attractive, he isn't turned off that I have a kid (in fact, he has told me he finds a woman who is a good mother attractive). For a few years now we've been flirty with each other. Usually on nights where we've let loose and had a few drinks. The next day we pretend like nothing happened and go about the way we normally are, and it never feels awkward. We've never had sex, we have kissed before, and cuddled together in bed a few times. I have just always told him that I didn't think it was a good idea since he's my brother's friend. He seemed to agree.

Just recently, he has gotten into a relationship with a friend of mine, someone I met through work. And now that he is with her, my feelings for him have come out with mad force. The other night, a bunch of friends and I had gone to his place to finish off our night of drinks and fun, and not only did he and I flirt like crazy, but he kissed me and we spent a lot of time talking. I felt bad afterwards because he is with her now. Although she and I have only known each other a few months, we aren't super close, I still respect her. But if I am going to be honest to myself, then I have to admit yes, I am jealous. I wish I had taken an opportunity with him before she had the chance. I'm hoping that they don't work out now so that I can have my chance with him. I even talked to my brother and he almost seemed offended by the fact that he was used as an excuse for us not to get together...he says, he's not blind and he's seen us havin feelings for each other for a few years now lol!

thoughts please?

If your brother best friend is over 18 adult so what go for it. Your brother not dating him he's only a best friend with the guy it would be the same if your brother wanted to date your best friend the same thing. I really think you looking way to much into all this he's not a family member so go for it and have fun.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

So, do we get an up-date?

[robinerikson]

I smiled when I read the part that your brother got offended because you used him as an excuse. Girl, I might sound so evil, that girl with YOUR guy should be eliminated as soon as possible. Haha!

[ThisOneThought]

Okay, here's an update. I don't really know what to think of all this so I will definitely need advice! Here is a run down of what happened last weekend between us:

Last Thursday, he came over to my place with his gf and her friend to hang out with me and my brother. She had to leave early to take her friend home and he said he was going to stay and crash in my bro's room (at my place). I went to bed and invited him by text message to sleep in my room with me. (I didn't want to say it out loud in front of my bro lol). He ended up not getting the text until morning, but after receiving it, he came to my room and asked me if he could buy me breakfast. I was embarrassed that I even asked him and felt bad bc of his gf, so I declined breakfast.

Later that night, I went to hang out with him and his gf at his place. He and I went to the store alone and I apologized for inviting him to my room, saying I shouldn't have put him in that position and I feel bad that I did that to his gf. He reached over from his seat and touched the inside of my thigh, telling me not to worry about it, that he would've taken me up on the offer if he had seen the message. When we got back to his place, there was some drinking going on, and his gf got really drunk and wasted. While she was in the other room, he and I were literally like magnets to each other. He kept touching me, and I admitted to being attracted to him. He tried to kiss me but I backed away and I told him I could not do that to his gf, that I didn't want to be that kind of person, I didn't want to have that character flaw. He told me at that point that he has wanted to be in a relationship with me for a long time. I was like, "Shhhh!! Your gf can probably hear you!" He said he didn't care. I wrapped my arms around his waist but as soon as we started hugging and getting close his gf came in the room. She was so wasted she did not even hear what was said or notice the behavior between he and I.

The next night I called him on the phone and was trying to tell him my feelings but I was pretty much beating around the bush. I told him I wanted to spend time with him but I didn't feel like it was right, and he said we were friends, it was okay. Then he asked me, "What are you really trying to say?" I just said I didn't know and that it was probably a pointless conversation anyway and then I got off the phone.

We haven't spoken since but I cannot get him off my mind. I think about him constantly.
And by the way, he is 24 and I am 25. His gf is 18. Not that any of that matters but someone who had commented had asked about age.

I texted him this morning after everyone of my friends told me to tell him how I feel. I just told him I needed to talk to him. I'm hoping maybe we can get together face to face, alone, soon.

Soo.....what do you all think?! I am super nervous!