X
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • jen1447
    Veteran Member
    • Oct 2013
    • 2380

    I hate to be a party pooper but I don't like the sound of this. He sounds seedy, tbh. If he's willing to say he doesn't care about his current GF while feeling you up and kissing on you, you can bet he'll do the same when/if you're on the other end (when his next potential GF is on the couch while you're sick in bed or whatever). Also the "wanted to be in a relationship with me for a long time" line sounds like just that, a line. My fear is that if you got into a serious relationship with this guy (at the expense of his current GF), you'd find it was a lot more brief and temporary than you envisioned.

    Comment

    • CHANDLERS WISH
      • Mar 2008
      • 22440

      He didn't get your message but when he did he asked if he could buy you breakfast, that to me, leads to conversation when two people are alone. He could have just told you he crashed, didn't get the message and left it at that.

      Though, I too don't like the part where he stated "he would have, had he had read the text" a "gentleman" ditches the girl first, even if you would only be cuddling.

      He told me at that point that he has wanted to be in a relationship with me for a long time. I was like, "Shhhh!! Your gf can probably hear you!" He said he didn't care
      This sounds promising but as you have never had sex before, I would definitely be cautious if he does leave this current relationship for you, you want to make sure it's not because he doesn't really care about this girl at all and has always wanted to sleep with you.

      But, on the plus side, as we can all make assumptions, it doesn't appear he entered this relationship in love, he entered it just because. (This girl he is with).

      I told him I wanted to spend time with him but I didn't feel like it was right, and he said we were friends, it was okay
      This part I don't again like, because he is using the fact that she knows you are friends, therefore, if you were to hang out together it's no big deal. But, it is, because he is suggesting to go behind her back.. He needs to be a man about all of this. On the devil's advocate part, he may be just trying to establish exactly what you want, hoping it's a relationship as he's already stated he has always wanted to be in one with you and the only way he can find that out, is if the pair of you meet up.

      I texted him this morning after everyone of my friends told me to tell him how I feel. I just told him I needed to talk to him.
      I am betting that either your Brother has already told him or one of your friends has already told him of your feelings. Just a gut feeling.

      Go ahead and tell him. And, if he feels the same like he has insinuated, let him know that you won't be secretly doing anything, that he has to get out of his current relationship and that you further want to take it slowly, date properly for a while without (sex). To be sure that is his pure intention, that he really has wanted to be in a relationship with you.

      Good luck and be assertive it's a bit like Romeo and Juliet Here is hoping that that is what it is...

      But by stating and acting on the above 2nd to last paragraph you will know for sure as well.
      PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

      Comment

      • ThisOneThought
        Member
        • Nov 2012
        • 31

        Ahhhh....this is almost getting to be too much. I think I am so nervous because I am overanalysing
        every detail.

        To continue on with this bad habit I will tell you that I texted him. Here is what that looked like:

        Me: Hey, I need to talk to you.
        Him: (10 hours later, I am assuming after he got off work) Okay, whatsup?
        Me: I'm at work now, but its not urgent or anything. Just maybe next time I see you? Its really not a text kind of conversation.
        Him: Okay.

        And that's it! Just three words I got out of him! It discourages me because I feel like hes not interested. I feel like he knows what this is about but isn't trying to show interest. He doesn't seem curious or eager or even happy to hear from me. I feel like I made a mistake in even texting him at all. I feel like my emotions are stupid. They aren't making sense. The whole situation seems ridiculous now and I feel like maybe I should just drop it.

        Comment

        • jen1447
          Veteran Member
          • Oct 2013
          • 2380

          You may be overanalyzing a bit hon, yes, but your emotions are what they are, no point in self-criticizing. I still kind of feel like this is ....what I expected lol. If you get the vibe that he's baiting you or leading you on or playing you, I wouldn't bite. People who do that generally have an exploitative agenda in mind (like he'll ignore you in order to get you to throw yourself at him, then bang you, then walk away all proud of himself for scoring the hot chick). If he doesn't want to talk, let him not talk. Be the stronger one and let him come running to you if he wants. Otherwise no big loss.

          Comment

          • DreamP346
            • Oct 2011
            • 2053

            When I first started reading your story, it sounded romantic and like the plot line to a romance movie (that movie Something Borrowed or Made of Honor). But reading your most recent entries, I am starting to think Jen is right. If this was really important to him, he would have asked to talk about this right away and discuss things, not leave it to you to bring up. It sounds like he wants his cake and eat it too.

            Definitely have a conversation with him. Tell him that you are not interested in being his thing on the side. Also tell him that things just feel too weird between you two so to stay away from each other for a while and definitely not be hanging out with him with his girlfriend. If he really wants a relationship with you, he will offer to leave his current girlfriend. If he doesn't, then you have an answer.
            Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

            Comment

            • CHANDLERS WISH
              • Mar 2008
              • 22440

              " I've always wanted to be in a relationship with you "

              " What's up? Yeah Ok".

              I'd be confused if I were you as well. You know what? Don't text again, don't beat yourself up either on that, as Jen stated but actually walk away from this for a bit. I think, now, it's his turn.. He made that above comment, you stated you wanted to speak with him, if a guy really wanted to be in a relationship with someone and had the opportunity to talk, he'd make the time and a suggested time and day.

              By not texting him you will see if days go by or a day goes by before he actually tries to contact you and then you'll know what to do, I think.


              Originally posted by ThisOneThought
              Ahhhh....this is almost getting to be too much. I think I am so nervous because I am overanalysing
              every detail.

              To continue on with this bad habit I will tell you that I texted him. Here is what that looked like:

              Me: Hey, I need to talk to you.
              Him: (10 hours later, I am assuming after he got off work) Okay, whatsup?
              Me: I'm at work now, but its not urgent or anything. Just maybe next time I see you? Its really not a text kind of conversation.
              Him: Okay.

              And that's it! Just three words I got out of him! It discourages me because I feel like hes not interested. I feel like he knows what this is about but isn't trying to show interest. He doesn't seem curious or eager or even happy to hear from me. I feel like I made a mistake in even texting him at all. I feel like my emotions are stupid. They aren't making sense. The whole situation seems ridiculous now and I feel like maybe I should just drop it.
              PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

              Comment

              • jasminerose08
                Member
                • Jan 2014
                • 64

                Love comes from the most unexpected places and comes the least you expected it. I remember the song ' When did you fall in love with me" . This song is very appropriate to you..I feel so excited about you. The song goes like this "When did you fall in love with me? Is it out of the blue, I swear I never knew...very good love song...
                Live life to the fullest...

                Comment

                • Something_Awesome
                  Veteran Member
                  • Apr 2014
                  • 1219

                  The only thing I am wondering, is he not afraid of your brother if he screws you over? If my friend screwed over my sister, in that his intentions weren't genuine, I'd take it further than just not being friends with him anymore.

                  Is he not afraid of that? That thought should help keep him in check; to only pursue you if the feeling is real. I don't know any guys that woukd "play" their best friend's sister.
                  "Are you serious? You're bleeping THAT girl?" - jen1447

                  Comment

                  or

                  Womens Health orange logoGet The Newsletter

                  Join our weekly newsletter and get the latest thought-provoking bold research and fearless conversations about sex - plus exclusive product giveaways - delivered to your inbox.

                  Latest Activity

                  Collapse

                  • Reply to PCOS and unwanted hair growth

                    Birdie_567 I just saw this today -- think it can help you and others that might be dealing with this. Some really promising research:

                    ht...

                    08-19-2026, 09:52 PM By JonnyR
                  • Reply to Forum Rules for Reading!

                    chrishillus -- welcome to the forums! Would love to hear your experiences and adding to the discussions....

                    08-18-2026, 07:36 PM By JonnyR
                  • Reply to Approaching Strangers: Is it even okay?

                    Well, funny enough, I've talked to a few people about this, and we've all had a laugh that on social media and in certain circles, women are coming clean...

                    08-12-2026, 09:35 PM By JonnyR
                  • Reply to PCOS and unwanted hair growth

                    I had NO idea! But honestly, the new name makes so much more sense. I’ve always associated PCOS primarily with the reproductive side of things, so it’s...

                    08-11-2026, 12:12 PM By Birdie_567
                  • Reply to PCOS and unwanted hair growth

                    BTW -- did you see that the renamed PCOS to PMOS?

                    Per online:

                    "Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) has been officially renamed...

                    08-06-2026, 08:04 PM By JonnyR

                  Latest Topics

                  Collapse

                  • PCOS and unwanted hair growth

                    Does anyone have any experience with PCOS and getting rid of unwanted facial hair? What started as one singular strand on my chin in my 20s has turned...

                    07-27-2026, 07:25 AM By Birdie_567
                  Working...