[Pollon]

Contrary opinion here:

You've both had engagements fail, you're both recently out of relationships, you've known each other for 15 days and you're already saying things like "it really could work."

I'd be scared of you if you are already freaking out about where the relationship is going and whether or not it is moving too fast or too slow.

While he might enjoy you kissing him first, he might also feel like you're throwing yourself at him, too needy or too anxious to speed things up. Once you start breaking the physical boundaries, it's not that easy to stop things because of either the heat of the moment or fear of hurting the other person.

"keeping his wall up for now" is likely his way of saying, "I'm not ready to make myself vulnerable to you or be in a full-blown relationship."

I think trying to bash down his wall with kisses is a mistake. Stick to a slow steady pace, lots of communication, get to know him and build a friendship before you get physical.

If you can't be patient, find someone else.

[jen1447]

They're already reasonably physical tho.

All we have done is flirting/bumped into each other playfully, cuddled (he fell asleep while we cuddled a few times), been out to dinner on dates, and held hands while cuddling. It all feels very right to me.

If they cuddle up together and hold hands and fall asleep on the couch and all that, I don't think it's unreasonable to want to share a kiss. Plus they've been on four dates. Everybody's got their own pace, but that's pretty slow for just getting a peck on the lips.

[horsyluvr]

He has only brought up this wall twice. Being that he's introduced me to his friends, I wasn't too concerned about that.

[horsyluvr]

That being dating me to get over his ex. He also calls me around 3x per day ish.

[horsyluvr]

Also I should probably mention he started the cuddling, hand holding, and stuff. He started all of it.

[atskitty2]

I agree w/Jen about not being afraid to try kissing him if you want, as you're already getting cuddly & if you want/need a kiss, it's time to develop the habit of asking for what you want/need from him.
But I also think, you hardly know him, and either of you saying/thinking that it has a good chance of working & all that at this stage is premature, it's just too soon to know much of anything right now.

When someone says they have walls up, in these early days of learning about each other, it's usually a signal to me, that they aren't feeling really strong about it, and it's a warning bell in some ways. That's my experience. If I feel really good about someone, I don't try to scare them off with my excess baggage on the 2nd date. We all know we have burdens to bear, why start off on the negative? Sure, we all chalk that up to honesty, but I'm not sure it needs to be said in the beginning. I tell them when I can honestly say, "hey, here's what I'm working on in my life & I care enough about you to work hard to control this, if you're interested in supporting me going forward". Then I ask what it is they have struggled with.

[Claret]

I also told him I'm used to moving faster but I'm glad he wants to move slow. It's going to take me a minute to adjust but it will be worth the wait. He wants to make sure everything is right first. Which I'm happy about that.

Maybe the moving faster was the path to your past relationships. You really need to get to know each other, even by today's standards. You've been out on a couple of dates - do you know anything about his home life? Are his parents alive or dead? How does he feel about dog and cats? Do you know what his ambitions are? Where does he want to go in his career?

All these things count and should tell you about him. There is time for a physical relationship especially if this is to be a long term relationship. Enjoy the day.

Carpe diem!

[horsyluvr]

He spends most of his time working on a large fish farm. His parents are alive and divorced. He wants to own a fish farm one day and start a horse rescue. He has a dog.

[horsyluvr]

So far we have been doing things at his pace and sometimes I have to remind myself we have only been dating for two weeks. Ive been letting him come to me. Like I said he started everything. His hugs when I leave are like he doesn't want me to go. Also I he hasn't come towards my house to hang out. All 4 times I either met him somewhere or went to his house which is fine. But I did make a point that I want him to come and hang out with me sometime. He lives 30 minutes from me. / He says he has doubts about everything. I told him it will be okay and to think positive because ya never know what day could be your last. He said he hopes I'm right.

[jen1447]

The red flag would be if he never wanted you to come to his house, not vice-versa.