[rcoreyus]

I find women who are interesting to talk to, and fun to be around attractive. I especially like women who I can speak to frankly - hate the "walking on eggshells" whenever I say something that might be offensive. I like to talk (thats why I'm here), and I like difficult subjects and moral / ethical puzzles. If I suggest that society would be better if women stayed at home to raise / teach their children, I want an arguement as to why I am wrong, not just a "that's offensive" (duckiin for cover <g>).

Physical beauty is fine - I certainly appreciate beauty, but It has little bearing on whether I want to spend any time with the person.

Guess I'm just strange.

[Little]

As I insinuated in my first post on this topic, I think this is a JOKE.
People are people. People are different.
Individualism, don't fail me now!!

Oh noezzzz, a wummin doesn't wanna lews that waight!

Seriously. How many men do I see at the Wal-mart every visit with stomachs bigger than my sister's was when she was pregnant with twins?
People who care about their weight will watch it. They will eat right and exercise. Lots of women aren't gluttons for pain and were never properly taught how to exercise. Lots of men, too, for that matter.
Take a glance at gym classes these days: in my high school, 9 weeks of gym were all that were required for FOUR YEARS. Thank God I took NJROTC. We had textbook sections about proper exercise. I could almost be a personal trainer.
But also: I take an overload of classes and still work 20+ hours per week. I walk to class and work on the fourth floor every day. Where on earth am I supposed to fit in exercise? Somehow I manage it, sparingly. Don't get me wrong; I eat exactly what I want when my budget allows and I am no dainty little fairy.
I'm strong; I can run a mile without stopping and haul a load. I can steer my SUV when my power steering fails.
But I DON'T have time to exercise like a maniac.

And anyways, everybody knows that skinny, "dainty little fairies" are less fertile than a woman with some curve. I am a woman with some curve. I am "overweight," but take a tape to me and measure the muscle mass I happen to have and you'll find out pretty quickly that numbers mean very little.
I will never be within my "healthy weight range." God help me if I ever am.
But the media targets women with this advertisement: "I LAWST SEVVUNTEE PAONDS WIF SLIMFAST, AND AH DIDUNT EXURSAIZ!"
And men get this: "I lost 7 inches off my waist, and gained 3 inches of muscle on each arm!"

Oh, media, be my little scapegoat.

[bubbles]

sorry i just read the first thread and it made me mad....... women and what we have been through in general with men in history.... its just a topic that gets my blood boiling. i dont mean to offend anyone.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

But this is youth talking and you are just slightly older than youth....When you are in love the years accept the weight and all the aging becomes part of life...Your lover has captured your soul and you his, he no longer notices the weight and beauty never dies. What this same man was attracted to when he was young, he forgets. For his lover looks the same to him even after all these years.

I will never know another man in my life. You and I both have found our soul mate. When the OP talked about what he wants and seeks, I saw a relection of youth and who I was and age became a place that was forgotten...But the memories of all my yesterday's appeared and they were good...

So our young man is seeking his own "woman of his dreams"....But then CW, how many of them are around like you and I???? He just may have to travel far and wide in search for another like us........Take care, Caroline

Beautifully said... CW

[C]

Well, it's scary being "older"...lol...

No, i know i did state that he is seeing it from a younger age than me, and i agreed that as such it's that tall blonde that looks great that he wants to see.

But as there are all sorts of ages reading this thread, of all shapes and sizes, i was making that stance of the difference between young, almost young ( like me ) ha, middle age and older, as such "dating" may be looked at differently from what a man is looking for. As you state someone "older", may no longer need that tall blonde but has through experience preferred the larger woman's body... So with dating, it does reflect the age group and what at different ages, men look for.

I read a post here for instance which said, i preferred her at 220lb's now she is 160lbs and i don't know how old he is but suspect in his late 30's.

So yes, in my age group, if a man is divorced, widowed, separated, he has had a few relationships or maybe one fantastic one, that he will not compromise on for the next "long term partner", as he knows what he wants and is prepared to wait. Same, really for me. And, regardless of age, if the (two souls) do not connect with inner beauty, passion then one is not enough.

But i am confident at my age, i know what i am after, and remembering it was 6 months before i met this guy. Before that and in fact even today, there are 6 or so lurking around trying to win me over, but i know what i want as well and whether i had a date with those guys, or no date, none of them are what i am after but doesn't stop them trying...

Which brings me to that point of my ex-brother-in-law, yep, men are men, as i stated here though, he would not look at her in that fashion because she was over weight but he connected big time. So, he called it "friendship", and they went to movies, dinners, wineries, continuing to call it "friendship", but he had to give in in the end, because it was pointless, he fell for her "inner soul" from day one trust me, but refused to go out with a woman whom did not meet the "criteria" of that that he had in his mind, that outside beauty of weight. And, they live together, bought it out into the open 4 years ago, but she knew all the way along or felt all the way along that she would succeed and all the time felt that they were dating, i assume that they did sleep together early on in the piece as well " as friends" but that is a classic example of a younger generation than me, that "thought" of the outside but fell for the inside and history is well, history.........

So i gave a few examples of different ages.

But i agree if i go back to the 18/19 and 20's, certainly i walked also with confidence and certainly i was asked for marriage at 19 and again at 21, 25 but did not go there as i knew what i was looking for. Where you may have found, I kept searching as no one was capable of touching my "soul".... So you never know with life then do you?

As you know, i will fight for this one, because he has reached the "soul" and we will see...

But this is youth talking and you are just slightly older than youth....When you are in love the years accept the weight and all the aging becomes part of life...Your lover has captured your soul and you his, he no longer notices the weight and beauty never dies. What this same man was attracted to when he was young, he forgets. For his lover looks the same to him even after all these years.

I will never know another man in my life. You and I both have found our soul mate. When the OP talked about what he wants and seeks, I saw a relection of youth and who I was and age became a place that was forgotten...But the memories of all my yesterday's appeared and they were good...

So our young man is seeking his own "woman of his dreams"....But then CW, how many of them are around like you and I???? He just may have to travel far and wide in search for another like us........Take care, Caroline

[CHANDLERS WISH]

CW: You are older so your thoughts are older..I am ancient and my idea's probably reflect it.....BUT when I was younger, my desires, wants and ultimate partner for life.. was going to be who I wanted...I knew I would get what I wanted...A woman who is confident knows this..It relects in her actions and believe me I know what I am saying....Each of the men who proposed to me had a soul, but they did not wake up mine....You are older and your new man is older and your thinkings are different than youth...I am not saying that a woman has to be reed thin but men are men and they just are not going to go looking for her inner beauty and being 75 pounds overweight.

I know if I was dating now being the woman that I am, I would have to know a man in person and like the way he looked...Looks would probably have an imfluence on me...Darn me for saying this but I am still attractive for my age and I am confident enough in myself as a woman to demand it....

Well, it's scary being "older"...lol...

No, i know i did state that he is seeing it from a younger age than me, and i agreed that as such it's that tall blonde that looks great that he wants to see.

But as there are all sorts of ages reading this thread, of all shapes and sizes, i was making that stance of the difference between young, almost young ( like me ) ha, middle age and older, as such "dating" may be looked at differently from what a man is looking for. As you state someone "older", may no longer need that tall blonde but has through experience preferred the larger woman's body... So with dating, it does reflect the age group and what at different ages, men look for.

I read a post here for instance which said, i preferred her at 220lb's now she is 160lbs and i don't know how old he is but suspect in his late 30's.

So yes, in my age group, if a man is divorced, widowed, separated, he has had a few relationships or maybe one fantastic one, that he will not compromise on for the next "long term partner", as he knows what he wants and is prepared to wait. Same, really for me. And, regardless of age, if the (two souls) do not connect with inner beauty, passion then one is not enough.

But i am confident at my age, i know what i am after, and remembering it was 6 months before i met this guy. Before that and in fact even today, there are 6 or so lurking around trying to win me over, but i know what i want as well and whether i had a date with those guys, or no date, none of them are what i am after but doesn't stop them trying...

Which brings me to that point of my ex-brother-in-law, yep, men are men, as i stated here though, he would not look at her in that fashion because she was over weight but he connected big time. So, he called it "friendship", and they went to movies, dinners, wineries, continuing to call it "friendship", but he had to give in in the end, because it was pointless, he fell for her "inner soul" from day one trust me, but refused to go out with a woman whom did not meet the "criteria" of that that he had in his mind, that outside beauty of weight. And, they live together, bought it out into the open 4 years ago, but she knew all the way along or felt all the way along that she would succeed and all the time felt that they were dating, i assume that they did sleep together early on in the piece as well " as friends" but that is a classic example of a younger generation than me, that "thought" of the outside but fell for the inside and history is well, history.........

So i gave a few examples of different ages.

But i agree if i go back to the 18/19 and 20's, certainly i walked also with confidence and certainly i was asked for marriage at 19 and again at 21, 25 but did not go there as i knew what i was looking for. Where you may have found, I kept searching as no one was capable of touching my "soul".... So you never know with life then do you?

As you know, i will fight for this one, because he has reached the "soul" and we will see...

[C]

You are talking about the "initial" attraction" as you are correct it is also "inner beauty" that counts. And this is from your opinion. I know a lot of men who find larger women attractive, short, tall, blonde or brunette as much as i know of men that have fallen in love, ex-brother-in-law for one, that was not physically attracted to his 7 year girlfriend to date, but was connected by having so much in common, that the initial time was friendship but he slowly didn't care about her being over weight, suspect one day they will marry.

The guy i am seeing, well his words were precise " I am sure you are a beautiful woman, and intelligent, but i know what i am looking for and will find"... That my friend is why i fell for him. Because, he wanted that "inner soul", the one with a passion for life, the one that knew freedom and togetherness and the one whom therefore, would have passion also in the bedroom. He is searching for his soul partner for the rest of his life, so age plays a role here. An older man knows what journey he has been on, and what he cherished and will seek nothing less, he wants laughter, fun, intimacy, freedom, sensuality, sexuality, togetherness, passion, lust and desire. He isn't interested in dating a beautiful woman with no soul.......

CW

CW: You are older so your thoughts are older..I am ancient and my idea's probably reflect it.....BUT when I was younger, my desires, wants and ultimate partner for life.. was going to be who I wanted...I knew I would get what I wanted...A woman who is confident knows this..It relects in her actions and believe me I know what I am saying....Each of the men who proposed to me had a soul, but they did not wake up mine....You are older and your new man is older and your thinkings are different than youth...I am not saying that a woman has to be reed thin but men are men and they just are not going to go looking for her inner beauty and being 75 pounds overweight.

I know if I was dating now being the woman that I am, I would have to know a man in person and like the way he looked...Looks would probably have an imfluence on me...Darn me for saying this but I am still attractive for my age and I am confident enough in myself as a woman to demand it....

[CHANDLERS WISH]

LOL well there isn't any line. When I meet women, most enjoy chatting with me. A few brush me off right away, and I leave them alone.

I love conversing with women. They talk about interesting subjects like relationships, love, and life. They generally talk on a much deeper level then men. Men, when they talk, usually discuss sports, which gets old for me. I think that's what attracted me to this forum in the first place.

Although my attraction for good-looking women my age is normal, my interest in relationship dynamics is unique. Most men do not watch Sex in the City and post on women's forums.

I agree that Woman are more open in the line of comunnication, it can be said that sometimes you just cant shut us up. LOL.

I also agree there is nothing wrong with a woman instigating that first move, it's a bold one that shows confidence which some men find very attractive, it's what she says and how she handles herself from that initiation. As body language goes, which is interesting, you should be able to tell who wants to talk to you and who doesn't before you as a man approaches her, then you won't be brushed of, unless your conversation is not worth listening to. If you can gain eye contact.

Women who put on weight. When a woman has a child, and then a second, it's extremely difficult for some to lose that weight as they pile it on. Some women you look at may be in that position.

Magazines ruin self image, Actors lose it in 3 - 5 months, the majority only start losing in 12 and then they are awake all the time, feeding etc, tired and no enthusiasm to work out. I by the way am a size 10 Australian or 63k.

You are talking about the "initial" attraction" as you are correct it is also "inner beauty" that counts. And this is from your opinion. I know a lot of men who find larger women attractive, short, tall, blonde or brunette as much as i know of men that have fallen in love, ex-brother-in-law for one, that was not physically attracted to his 7 year girlfriend to date, but was connected by having so much in common, that the initial time was friendship but he slowly didn't care about her being over weight, suspect one day they will marry.

The guy i am seeing, well his words were precise " I am sure you are a beautiful woman, and intelligent, but i know what i am looking for and will find"... That my friend is why i fell for him. Because, he wanted that "inner soul", the one with a passion for life, the one that knew freedom and togetherness and the one whom therefore, would have passion also in the bedroom. He is searching for his soul partner for the rest of his life, so age plays a role here. An older man knows what journey he has been on, and what he cherished and will seek nothing less, he wants laughter, fun, intimacy, freedom, sensuality, sexuality, togetherness, passion, lust and desire. He isn't interested in dating a beautiful woman with no soul....

So, you may find that whilst you feel initially it is all in the " looks" body size, dress, it is about taking care of yourself, and of course looking "classy" but i don't think it is about size, and again, i have to stress, you are talking about "from a productive point of view", for having children.

As i said though, even here, some like young women, cury, large buxon, breasts, and some like tall and slim...

CW

[C]

I will admit you are interesting...I found myself sizing myself up to what you desired only many years ago...

I was 5' 8" and 127 pounds...Only I failed your test as my waist was 27 inches...Darn on that one....Very good looking back then, in fact my picture as a bride was featured in the window of the Studio that did the work for a month...It was very large and they gave it to me free after this...I must have drawn my sailor to me as he had two other dates for the next night when he met me at the teen bar....Needless to say, he choose me.

Sexually wise, we meshed....We kissed for the first 8 days and then when I visited him in California, we petted, on his last leave when we became engaged I let him go down on me...That was when I found heaven....And I have been there every since....But I held off to be the virgin I always wanted to be when we married...But everything else went....It was hot. He was a jock and I was big into sports. Everything fit from the moment we met...I loved the Navy and him so I would love everything he talked about...On our first date when he got up to use the rest room, his statement to me of "gonna drain the brine off my pickle" both shocked and excited me....And may I add despite having two other proposals, he is the only man in my life that has stood me up.....

We both wanted children but did not plan on 9 months and 19 days after we married...But being in love, we adored her...I have never worried about a flaw about myself because he has convinced me that I am perfect.....I find after this much love that he has still made me a teen ager in his arms....

When he got out of service he delivered bread because the shortage of jobs.....yet when he retired 8 years ago he had given me the world....I live in the bliss that I never thought possible....

I find myself confused in your thread....You have set your sights high but you also know what you want....Years ago I knew the type of man I wanted....Because of this want in the back of my mind, I let an Intern and a Russian Interpreter pass.......Despite the security, this was the wisest move of my life......I wanted love.......I wish you well....Caroline

[Deft]

LOL well there isn't any line. When I meet women, most enjoy chatting with me. A few brush me off right away, and I leave them alone.

I love conversing with women. They talk about interesting subjects like relationships, love, and life. They generally talk on a much deeper level then men. Men, when they talk, usually discuss sports, which gets old for me. I think that's what attracted me to this forum in the first place.

Although my attraction for good-looking women my age is normal, my interest in relationship dynamics is unique. Most men do not watch Sex in the City and post on women's forums.