[anonymouswhitefemale]

The woman I'm currently dating complains about her weight a lot, but she won't exercise or eat healthy. I've had to listen to her complaining for some time now and I think some of that FRUSTRATION came out in my first post. It's got kind of a "now listen here, ******" tone to it. I still believe it all, but it should have been written in a gentler tone.

Yeah. As I said before, my partner complained about her weight a great deal for a year without doing anything about it. She'd say how she felt fat, how she knew I'd rather she was thinner, how she was worried that I might leave for someone thinner. I said, whatever, you're you - if you want to lose some weight, I'll support you. Basically, the thing that was more unattractive was her constantly putting herself down rather than the cellulite on her bum. And it was even more unattractive that she was completely unprepared to do something that was important TO HER.

Someone mentioned the variety of tastes. It's true that some men PREFER overweight women. It's my personal observation that black men in particular tend to prefer this type of women. I think it's like a bell curve though, with MOST men feeling attraction for youth/health. You just shouldn't let "different types" become an EXCUSE to avoid getting healthy.

True once again. Some peopke like fat people, some people like old people, some people like scarred people and some people like amputees. This doesn't make you attractive when you're old fat, burnt and with one leg. It means there's a niche for everything. Do you really want to become niche?

I LOVE women's curves. I am not telling anyone to become a stick figure or a gym rat. Stick figures are UNHEALTHY (ick). I'm just suggesting that in order to attract a man, you should identify a HEALTHY weight, reach it, and then maintain it. It's like brushing your teeth. It takes WORK.

True again.

I've got plenty of fat on my body, and yet, I've attracted a man who loves every single part of me! And he- GASP-is WHITE! How strange a man could be attracted to someone who doesn't fit your standard of beauty.

He was talking in generalisations and by definition there are exceptions. We are talking about TRENDS.

Stop using "health" as the reason you find thinner women attractive.

So is being fat healthy? Or attractive? The only reason to support being fat is because you are... and you aren't motivated to do anything about it. It might be someones opinion that they love a 1 inch penis, but that doesn't mean that 99% of viewers won't be put off by it...

Because I'd bet my big *$$ you don't look at a woman across the bar and think "God, I sure to do bet SHE can run 2 miles without getting winded!" Dumb.

If I see an athletic girl in a bar, I respect her, because I know her life is about a bit more than shopping and gossiping. I know that I could take her on holiday without her whining about camping, or walking, or climbing down a steep hill to a secluded beach. Am I lying? I'm not sure if you can say that.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I LOVE women's curves. I am not telling anyone to become a stick figure or a gym rat. Stick figures are UNHEALTHY (ick). I'm just suggesting that in order to attract a man, you should identify a HEALTHY weight, reach it, and then maintain it. It's like brushing your teeth. It takes WORK.

It truly sounds to me therefore, that you are really ****ed at your girlfriend and have tried to "control" that side of her, my ex-husband did that to his first wife, she was size 8, ( Australia probably 55k) and through feeling depressed with him, went to size 22 in 18 months. He contstantly attacked her verbally regarding her weight and well she walked out with a tall skinny guy on her arm, i think she's around size 14 now, left him but remarried and is happy in herself.

I agree with ChelseaRenee and my previous post regarding different strokes for different folkes, regarding what guys like or don't like and healthy? Well if she is overweight a bit, that does not mean she doesn't eat healthy or can not climb a mountain, or her man over and over again..

It does seem that you truly are not happy with the weight of your girlfriend and wished she did something about it "for you", but love, it's about her, not you, you need to be happy with her soul, mind, spirit and accept her body, or move on....

And, don't be so obssessed with weight i don't know how old you are but if you keep to that attitude you may not find what you are looking for.

Those that are happy, or married where you say congratulations, i don't think even look twice at their partners six pack, or non six pack, they are simply in extasy over their man and the two partners as totality..... I don't care i can tell you that much, and i know he will weight my bed down, because he is very broad but i like that, a real MAN, not some skinny man who eats at 4pm every day because it's not good to eat after that time, or one who is constantly at the gym, or riding a bike, making me feel horrid, but one who is grounded and knows that bacon and eggs every day is not going to make him feel so alive and doesn't want that lifestyle but not obssessed.

Again, we are all different in our thoughts.......

If you truly believe what you are saying, this lady of yours is going to keep feeling down and out if you are expressing these words to her as well and well, only going to feel depressed and gain more weight if you think about it....

We are all beautiful........

CW

[ChelseaRenee]

The woman I'm currently dating complains about her weight a lot, but she won't exercise or eat healthy. I've had to listen to her complaining for some time now and I think some of that FRUSTRATION came out in my first post. It's got kind of a "now listen here, ******" tone to it. I still believe it all, but it should have been written in a gentler tone.

Some of the women who replied are in loving committed relationships. Congratulations that's wonderful! I posted this in the "dating" forum and didn't give any thought to that situation, or post-kids and married, etc. Can you still increase his attraction by becoming more healthy? Ask him.

My first post explains WHY men are basically PROGRAMMED to feel attraction based on a woman's appearance. A woman can use this knowledge to attract men, rather than being annoyed that men are this way.

Someone mentioned the variety of tastes. It's true that some men PREFER overweight women. It's my personal observation that black men in particular tend to prefer this type of women. I think it's like a bell curve though, with MOST men feeling attraction for youth/health. You just shouldn't let "different types" become an EXCUSE to avoid getting healthy.

You can't change your age, so don't worry about the youth thing. No matter how old you are, there will be some men who consider you "young."

Someone mentioned men's bellies. Men's fat stores are concentrated around their bellies, because in hunter/gatherer days this allowed their limbs to remain uninhibited by fat stores, so they could still hunt. Women's body fat is more evenly distributed.

I LOVE women's curves. I am not telling anyone to become a stick figure or a gym rat. Stick figures are UNHEALTHY (ick). I'm just suggesting that in order to attract a man, you should identify a HEALTHY weight, reach it, and then maintain it. It's like brushing your teeth. It takes WORK.

I've got plenty of fat on my body, and yet, I've attracted a man who loves every single part of me! And he- GASP-is WHITE! How strange a man could be attracted to someone who doesn't fit your standard of beauty. Stop using "health" as the reason you find thinner women attractive. It's your own opinion, it's YOURS, own up to the real reason- it's just what you find attractive, you don't need to lie to justify it. Because I'd bet my big *$$ you don't look at a woman across the bar and think "God, I sure to do bet SHE can run 2 miles without getting winded!" Dumb.

Good god, this thread was st*pid from the getgo.

[Deft]

Wow that is a very restrictive language filter. The blocked word is stu pid. Hopefully that goes through.

[Deft]

The woman I'm currently dating complains about her weight a lot, but she won't exercise or eat healthy. I've had to listen to her complaining for some time now and I think some of that FRUSTRATION came out in my first post. It's got kind of a "now listen here, ******" tone to it. I still believe it all, but it should have been written in a gentler tone.

Some of the women who replied are in loving committed relationships. Congratulations that's wonderful! I posted this in the "dating" forum and didn't give any thought to that situation, or post-kids and married, etc. Can you still increase his attraction by becoming more healthy? Ask him.

My first post explains WHY men are basically PROGRAMMED to feel attraction based on a woman's appearance. A woman can use this knowledge to attract men, rather than being annoyed that men are this way.

Someone mentioned the variety of tastes. It's true that some men PREFER overweight women. It's my personal observation that black men in particular tend to prefer this type of women. I think it's like a bell curve though, with MOST men feeling attraction for youth/health. You just shouldn't let "different types" become an EXCUSE to avoid getting healthy.

You can't change your age, so don't worry about the youth thing. No matter how old you are, there will be some men who consider you "young."

Someone mentioned men's bellies. Men's fat stores are concentrated around their bellies, because in hunter/gatherer days this allowed their limbs to remain uninhibited by fat stores, so they could still hunt. Women's body fat is more evenly distributed.

I LOVE women's curves. I am not telling anyone to become a stick figure or a gym rat. Stick figures are UNHEALTHY (ick). I'm just suggesting that in order to attract a man, you should identify a HEALTHY weight, reach it, and then maintain it. It's like brushing your teeth. It takes WORK.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Basically, I find rolls of flab completely unattractive, as do many men/women I know. I don't think men have any more right to be fat than women. But really, for me, it's about athletic ability. One of the biggest turn-offs for me is a woman who can't climb, who needs their hand holding traversing over anything more complicated than a step. Maybe the reason for this is that if my woman is running away from a tiger with a baby in her arms, you'd want to select a mate that wont trip over in two seconds and be eaten[

Okay that's a fair call but "athletic ability at 44?" I would have to work out at a gym, at present i am working on that, but at the moment i walk the dogs, toned to a degree, athletic...mmm. And, trust me, i will give the best HJ, i know i can, but i have an injury so climbing, well i will give it a go..... but you know, there are acceptions.... well for at least a few minutes i know i can...

I think it's a shame that all society encourage for women these days is shopping and talking, in England so few girls do any sort of physical activity at all - which is unattractive. Just like it's unattractive for a man to be fat and lack muscle mass (c'mon girls, how many of you would choose a few lines of definition on a guy?).

Ah, but if he got me where he wanted me, well i'd forget about the six pack, truly, plus those English woman ( my guy's in England) have the same access to women's magazines, it's there choice and rightly so.

I've read many times on this board of women who say things like "I'm a woman and I deserve to have a man who is hot, does this and this, etc" but still seems to resent the fact that men also set themselves standards.

Na, i don't think we say that... We want a MAN... You know not a "BOY".. Yep i agree we should all set standards.

Being overweight is a growing health risk for western society - in fact in England it's being proposed that the National Health Service would not cover people who didn't look after their own bodies, which was essentially smokers and fat people. It can't be healthy if the govenment has to change legislation becuase it simply can't affort to treat all the illnessess that people bring upon themselves.

Yep, an absolute FACT. If i have read correctly Americans favour fast food outlets before cooking a meal. In Australia it was, " SUBWAY" eat fresh sandwiches until they pointed out, that wholemeal is better than white bread, salads are better than sandwiches the next thing you know, salads RULE......lol. Bugger to, i'm a smoker REALLY , REALLY trying to stop.........

Basically, I find rolls of flab completely unattractive, as do many men/women I know. I don't think men have any more right to be fat than women.

Well yes, but you know some people love cuddly, that's just a fact....

There i will agree with Little, it is truly "Individual" taste..... Take yourself, myself out of the oquation it is a matter of taste....

My guy has broad, really broad shoulder, scares the ................... out of me, but that also means that he has a bit of wait, ex boxer, but i have seen progressive photos.

Now to me, i was married to a "six pack" and well, his bedroom antics were well........

This guy is well.................. so i dont give a ****. Get my drift....

Anon... I do understand the physical attraction thing but i can't get past the "SEXUAL" attraction where it does not 100%, honestly, truly, absolutely, bloody matter ................(smile) it truly doesn't he either does it for you or he doesnt'...

For ever hold my peace, or was that just " PEACE"....

[anonymouswhitefemale]

Seriously. How many men do I see at the Wal-mart every visit with stomachs bigger than my sister's was when she was pregnant with twins?

Basically, I find rolls of flab completely unattractive, as do many men/women I know. I don't think men have any more right to be fat than women. But really, for me, it's about athletic ability. One of the biggest turn-offs for me is a woman who can't climb, who needs their hand holding traversing over anything more complicated than a step. Maybe the reason for this is that if my woman is running away from a tiger with a baby in her arms, you'd want to select a mate that wont trip over in two seconds and be eaten.

I think it's a shame that all society encourage for women these days is shopping and talking, in England so few girls do any sort of physical activity at all - which is unattractive. Just like it's unattractive for a man to be fat and lack muscle mass (c'mon girls, how many of you would choose a few lines of definition on a guy?).

Know what I tell fat men who can't get women? Lose weight and get fit... No reason the opposite shouldn't apply.

Take a glance at gym classes these days: in my high school, 9 weeks of gym were all that were required for FOUR YEARS.

In my school we had PE twice a week, which I still think is far too little. One of the most memorable things about PE would be a few fat girls that would cry their eyes out when they were told to get any exercise, watching them fail to pick one leg up higher than their knee.

I'm strong; I can run a mile without stopping and haul a load. I can steer my SUV when my power steering fails.
But I DON'T have time to exercise like a maniac.

That's great and fine. I'm not talking about stick thin, as that can be as unhealthy as overweight. People who exercise like mad are also generally boring people, it can be a simple as having a hobby that involves exercise.

But the media targets women with this advertisement: "I LAWST SEVVUNTEE PAONDS WIF SLIMFAST, AND AH DIDUNT EXURSAIZ!"
And men get this: "I lost 7 inches off my waist, and gained 3 inches of muscle on each arm!"

Guys in the media are ruggedly handsome, barely an ounce of fat on them and defined muscles all over. This is what women want in general (or a big trick by the media...), however there is no attention on how to get that way... I agree that the size-0 thing is way OTT, but you know why there are so few fat people on tele? Because people would rather look at an attractive person....

I've read many times on this board of women who say things like "I'm a woman and I deserve to have a man who is hot, does this and this, etc" but still seems to resent the fact that men also set themselves standards.

Being overweight is a growing health risk for western society - in fact in England it's being proposed that the National Health Service would not cover people who didn't look after their own bodies, which was essentially smokers and fat people. It can't be healthy if the govenment has to change legislation becuase it simply can't affort to treat all the illnessess that people bring upon themselves.


I know this mega fat guy, who got told by doctors to chew his food before he swallowed it, but it's just a doctor, what does he know. He's bad enough that I have no doubt he'll have serious health risks when he's 35. Anyway, this guy somehow still manages to attract women (I can't see how the sight of him naked wouldn't empty your stomach), and I think in a way that's part of the problem. If women would just not go near him with a bargepole then he'd have an incentive to lose weight, for her and more importantly for his own health.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

But then CW, how many of them are around like you and I???? He just may have to travel far and wide in search for another like us........Take care, Caroline

Actually, in reflection, i imagine there are lots..... Perhaps C, your more open and i'm starting to be, that's all.

And, a lot of what this "young man" has stated, i have read on dating sites, because yep, i'm forever seeking knowledge, so i am not so sure it is his personal thoughts, rather a vast statement without contemplating the individualities, or ages truthfully.. But everyone to their own.

Just my Opinion".

[Little]

Caroline, you reminded me of something else:
Women who are "overweight" (not obese, mind you) age very well. Those little mexican women you see at the market? You'll probably never know their real ages, or be able to guess them. Even though they've raised children, filled out stacks of citizenship papers, and been on their hands and knees to scrub the floor all their lives, because their society doesn't view extra weight as being unhealthy, they are able to keep their looks without botox and surgery.
Even out-and-out "fat" people age a lot better than those who spent their teen/young adult years dieting their tail ends off (literally.)
Thank goodness for people like you, rcoreyus. Without influences like yours, the members of this board might have to assume that all men are sexist pigs, or some less socially acceptable moniker. But that would violate my own principle: People are people. We're all different in our own ways.

[C]

As I insinuated in my first post on this topic, I think this is a JOKE.
People are people. People are different.
Individualism, don't fail me now!!

Oh noezzzz, a wummin doesn't wanna lews that waight!

Seriously. How many men do I see at the Wal-mart every visit with stomachs bigger than my sister's was when she was pregnant with twins?
People who care about their weight will watch it. They will eat right and exercise. Lots of women aren't gluttons for pain and were never properly taught how to exercise. Lots of men, too, for that matter.
Take a glance at gym classes these days: in my high school, 9 weeks of gym were all that were required for FOUR YEARS. Thank God I took NJROTC. We had textbook sections about proper exercise. I could almost be a personal trainer.
But also: I take an overload of classes and still work 20+ hours per week. I walk to class and work on the fourth floor every day. Where on earth am I supposed to fit in exercise? Somehow I manage it, sparingly. Don't get me wrong; I eat exactly what I want when my budget allows and I am no dainty little fairy.
I'm strong; I can run a mile without stopping and haul a load. I can steer my SUV when my power steering fails.
But I DON'T have time to exercise like a maniac.

And anyways, everybody knows that skinny, "dainty little fairies" are less fertile than a woman with some curve. I am a woman with some curve. I am "overweight," but take a tape to me and measure the muscle mass I happen to have and you'll find out pretty quickly that numbers mean very little.
I will never be within my "healthy weight range." God help me if I ever am.
But the media targets women with this advertisement: "I LAWST SEVVUNTEE PAONDS WIF SLIMFAST, AND AH DIDUNT EXURSAIZ!"
And men get this: "I lost 7 inches off my waist, and gained 3 inches of muscle on each arm!"

Oh, media, be my little scapegoat.

My first impression was this guy has to be kidding...I thought back to how it was when I met my sailor and that is how it was.....Oh sure I will never be that thin again and frankly don't give a darn.....I like me...If I got real thin again it would age me and very honestly, I love it here...so I will just have to fail his test...