[atskitty2]

Well, that fizzled quickly lol<br />
<br />
It made me realize I would actually really enjoy the company of a man. I'm gonna rejoin the online dating craziness

[Ashlee T.]

That's a great attitude to have. I hate to hear it though. People are so touchy. Do you have any idea what happened?

[atskitty2]

No idea. I had asked when I could see him, he said he was going out of town in a few days...which I didn't think much of, I knew that trip had been tentatively planned for soon.<br />
This was by text, mind you, so...<br />
<br />
I just asked if he was losing interest, he said he likes me, just busy with the boys before school restarts and then everything changes again. I said ok and I've heard nothing since then. So...I took it as a brush off honestly. It's been over a week now I think...<br />
Honestly I've toyed with the idea of contacting him but I don't know if I should. I sort of think he would reach out if he was interested. Nobody is so busy they can't say hi.<br />
<br />
I did sleep with him, and I just think that was it. It happened more than once tho...<br />
So I told a male friend about it. He shared his opinion and thinks I should text him. He thinks the man might think I was sexually unsatisfied and decided to leave it before I did...which I don't think is the case. He thinks that because of my details of the sexual encounters and this man's comments to me...<br />
Really, we can speculate all day...I just don't know.<br />
<br />
I felt I deserved more an explanation, but really...a month is not long. He owed me no reasons.<br />
<br />
I have considered texting or calling him and saying, hey I understand you don't wanna date, and that's fine, but I was hoping I could still take you up on your offer to take me to the shooting range some time when you're less busy, just as friends. If you don't want that, I understand and wont bother you again, I just was hoping a friendship could continue here.<br />
<br />
And that's true...I would enjoy a friendship. Not trying to manipulate or trick him in some stalky sort of way.<br />
<br />
So...I doubt I will do that, as it seems desperate or smth...idk. Worst he can do is not respond...<br />
<br />
I just don't understand honestly. Was I used? <br />
<br />
I do not understand why one day he's asking my schedule and when he can meet some friends of mine...next day he's ghosting. <br />
I'm naive but I'm generally not a complete fool! Lol<br />
The sex wasn't earth shattering, but I am sure after all these years, I was not a great lay either...I told him the facts of my reclaimed virginity. Lol<br />
He did say it was good for him. He held me for quite some time afterwards and said some really sweet things...I was not disappointed in the sex so much that it was a deal breaker at all...actually I was in such a completely mesmerized state afterwards I could barely talk for an hour...more due to his holding and just touching and talking to me....<br />
Second time was more rushed...<br />
<br />
Part of me has wanted to just ask, bluntly, why he is suddenly too busy to even say hi...<br />
But my pride won't allow me to do that...<br />
My male friend said a month plus sex, I should feel entitled to some sort of feedback and explanation and that's not unreasonable. <br />
<br />
All's good though. I have a lunch date for Sunday with a prospect named Chris and another date planned for Monday with James....er wait....it's the other way around I think....<br />
It's late...I need to sleep. My meds are kicking in now!<br />
<br />
<br />
Any thoughts or feedback? Anyone?

[Ashlee T.]

I agree with your friend that he should have given you some sort of explanation. A month or six, there is just some respectful decency in dating, especially when there has been physical and emotional intimacy involved.

In reality, as all of us know, sex in the beginning isn't typically nearly as earth shattering as we imagine it will be. Sex either gets good (or doesn't), I think, once you begin getting to know the person and really start to connect on a more emotional level. Even if he were doing as your friend said and retracting before you had the chance to (which I don't think is the case here), YOU reached out to him and let him know you were still interested. If he had worries at that point of whether or not you'd dump him, your interest in seeing him again should have at least lessened that. What he did, with responding about just "being busy" was in my opinion, classic brush off. I have lost interest in someone before after sleeping with them (I know you have too. ) even if the sex was good. Sometimes it has just happened and I have no idea why.

Men are hunters. Okay, well, innately, I believe that many men are hunters. And if a man wants a woman, he will let her know that. The same may be true of women, but in this case you have put yourself out there, opened up to him and have let it be known you're interested and want to spend time with him. The ball is in his court now. I would not contact him. And if I never heard another word from him I'd consider it a blessing in disguise.....because you probably dodged a major bullet. If you DO hear from him, it will be up to you to decide if his excuse for the brush off is valid enough to consider. Brushing someone off or as I call it "light switching" them is one of the meanest things you can do to someone you know is interested in you, in my opinion. It's cruel because it leaves the person in limbo, wondering what they could've done wrong, what they should do now, etc. Just be an adult and say "Hey...I don't see this going anywhere. It's been fun though!" Lol.

[atskitty2]

That's how I thought...a classic brush off. And I hadnt considered contacting him until my friend suggested it. I will stick with my gut, and your feedback.

[atskitty2]

Dating is such a laughable experience.
I met a man Saturday, nice but not sure we're compatible.
Met a guy i really liked Sunday, but he's already proven to be way over the top for me. Bordering on psycho, per my 2 male friends i use for sounding boards.
I do not know how anyone meets and forms a relationship at this stage in life. Honestly it seems like the most difficult task. Sure, I realize I've just not met the right man yet....and I'm content being single. I'm just completely puzzled by the whole experience I've had.

Anyone else care to share?

[Motorguy]

Well that special guy is out there for you Kitty. It just seem you have to weed out all the bad ones before you find that jewel in the rough. That worth the time to have a loving relationship with. My two oldest daughter's are dealing with the same problem. My one daughter even went the dating a women and that turn out as a complete disaster. Me and there mother have told them that great guy is out there for them. But to be patient and don't get discourage as they are to sweet and beautiful not to have a loving relationship.

[Ashlee T.]

Just catching up on this thread. Any new updates since your last date ats?

Dating IS hard. I think it's one of the reasons many people stay in unhappy relationships, because at least it's somewhat comfortable there and dating is far from comfortable. I think if you date too much you'll become overly cynical, but if you don't date enough you won't meet people. It's a double edged sword. Maybe online dating isn't the best option for you. Yes it's a way to meet people, but are you meeting people you consider good, quality, potential mates?

[atskitty2]

so, before i went on vacation i met a new guy. liked him but wasn't sure if it would go anywhere. <br />
we texted the whole time I was away, and really had some nice exchanges. meaningful and just nice chats.<br />
<br />
when i got back, we met again. i really liked him more.<br />
<br />
here we are a month in and I'm really content with things. we just sort of came together easily, and I'm failrly certain we will last beyond my 6wk record! <br />
<br />
We talked about our reservations in the relationship and it all seems to just be working so far. he's very easy to talk to. <br />
<br />
he is a cop, and works other side jobs. not at all the "type" i usually go for. he has a small farm, with horses and he took me to a campground last weekend. relaxing, just easy going and so calm spirited. i had my coffee on the river bank, with the dogs....just a little slice of heaven. <br />
he's a country boy, 100%. and i think we compliment each other well. maybe he reconnected me to my roots, idk. <br />
<br />
with our schedules we don't have a lot of time together, but i look forward to the time we get. just very easy being with him. <br />
we haven't introduced our dogs yet tho...lol

[atskitty2]

never mind....lol