[atskitty2]

Adub, I have dated both older and younger than myself. Age isn't really something that I consider near the top of importance.

What I've found is that men my own age are often divorced and not interested in getting back into a relationship. It seems many want to be playing around again or enjoying a playboy lifestyle, that maybe they didn't get to have earlier.
Nothing wrong with that, but it does make it difficult to find a serious man.

The men I've met in their 30's typically if they do want to be in a serious relationship, they are ready to have kids and that's not where I am now. Or its the other extreme, and they are still wanting to go from girl to girl, and aren't looking for a relationship with any substance.

[Stillness]

No, for me.

An open marriage is not marriage to me. I don't get the point. I'd either just be single and celibate or married.

[a_dub]

Adub, I have dated both older and younger than myself. Age isn't really something that I consider near the top of importance.

What I've found is that men my own age are often divorced and not interested in getting back into a relationship. It seems many want to be playing around again or enjoying a playboy lifestyle, that maybe they didn't get to have earlier.
Nothing wrong with that, but it does make it difficult to find a serious man.

The men I've met in their 30's typically if they do want to be in a serious relationship, they are ready to have kids and that's not where I am now. Or its the other extreme, and they are still wanting to go from girl to girl, and aren't looking for a relationship with any substance.

I see. Hard to find that happy medium. I feel ya...I'm in the same boat. I'm 34 but would really prefer not to have any kids. At least not in the next 5 years. Then again maybe not ever.

[amy40]

I'm 34 but would really prefer not to have any kids. At least not in the next 5 years. Then again maybe not ever.

it must be difficult to find a woman in her late 20's to 30's to date who doesn't want kids

[TrapQueen]

If I'm married, or even if I'm just in a relationship without marriage, I wouldn't think of cheating. If sex is the problem, I might as well tell my partner that we should fix it. That's my take.

[a_dub]

it must be difficult to find a woman in her late 20's to 30's to date who doesn't want kids

Its difficult to find single woman to date period. The kids thing, I wouldnt mention it till they did, and if its a deal breaker for them, then I guess thats where that particular relationship will end.

lol, just realized Im now having hypothetical breakups on the internet...oh how funny life has become.

[jns]

Its difficult to find single woman to date period.

I found dating to be easier in other countries, even with some language difficulties, and not particularly difficult.

[atskitty2]

Jns, I think everyone I've ever heard comment on experience dating outside the US has said the same.

Anyone have thoughts on why this is?

I have read an article or 2 on it over the years, but I am curious your ideas.

[DreamP346]

I guess I had the idea that people opened up marriages after years of trying, and had enough positive things to keep them married, but were seeking to fill some other needs. I knew, of course, that there were polyamorous, etc....but I had no idea it was so prevalent.
I didn't realise that many are going into it as an open relationship.

That is actually a sure way to cause more problems in your existing relationship. Open and poly relationships do not work if you are only pursuing them as a solution to a problem in your existing relationship. Meaning, you would not need to go outside if your relationship with your current partner was better. These alternative relationships work when the parties involve want it, not because they need it. I've known many people in them and the people I know have good relationships. Some lasted for years. Some eventually became a 2-person only relationship. This usually happened once kids came into the picture. But they only worked because all parties involved liked the idea and they had very healthy/good communication relationship.

The problems usually arise when one party wants it and the other is only agreeing because they are being pressured or not fulfilling parts of their relationship, usually sexual.

Open marriages are way more common than you think.

[jns]

Jns, I think everyone I've ever heard comment on experience dating outside the US has said the same.USA

Anyone have thoughts on why this is?

I have read an article or 2 on it over the years, but I am curious your ideas.

Women in foreign countries seem to know what they want in a man and are willing to go the distance to get it. I find that many women in the USA don't know what they want and are unwilling to compromise on what they want (see the contradiction). Further, many are always looking for a better guy instead of going all in. Of course, looking for a long term, stable relationship with someone under 25 is not wise anywhere. It takes people a while to understand themselves. I think the hookup culture causes problems with ordinary dating by putting things out of order.