[atskitty2]

Yes! I have absolutely no complaints. It's just so unusual, that I wanted to be sure we were interested in the same thing.

He is a man of few words, so while we talk a good bit while together, it's not a lot of idle chatter, he says a lot with a little effort. I love that. I just didn't want to assume anything.

I also have considered that he may just not be very affectionate at all, even less so than me. He makes no effort to hold my hand or even a friendly hug hello. No compliments, no "good to see you", no shoulder tap, or wink...nothing.

At this rate, it may be months before we move to another step, and I would rather know now if his thoughts of me are only friendly. If it changes in that time, that's cool too.
I asked a male friend...2 actually. They gave the typically horny man's answer..."not sure how he keeps his hands off you"..."he is gay if he's not trying to tap that, knowing you're interested"...etc...
So that wasn't helpful.

I'm not someone who likes to be all over someone, so it's not a deal breaker, but, I'm wondering if he can express himself physically in any way other than sexually.
Way too early to know. Would it be a deal breaker? Not likely. I'm actually concerned about some health issues he has, and that being a motivator for keeping a distance. Again, too soon for him to share all that, but it has crossed my mind.

I'm content with the pace, but I don't want to invest months with this only to find out these were warning signs. There's nothing so far that makes me wanna bail. I enjoy his company more than anyone in ages, and I can respect this pace and his needs. I prefer it too, I just didn't think it was possible.

[a_dub]

Yes! I have absolutely no complaints. It's just so unusual, that I wanted to be sure we were interested in the same thing.

He is a man of few words, so while we talk a good bit while together, it's not a lot of idle chatter, he says a lot with a little effort. I love that. I just didn't want to assume anything.

I also have considered that he may just not be very affectionate at all, even less so than me. He makes no effort to hold my hand or even a friendly hug hello. No compliments, no "good to see you", no shoulder tap, or wink...nothing.

At this rate, it may be months before we move to another step, and I would rather know now if his thoughts of me are only friendly. If it changes in that time, that's cool too.
I asked a male friend...2 actually. They gave the typically horny man's answer..."not sure how he keeps his hands off you"..."he is gay if he's not trying to tap that, knowing you're interested"...etc...
So that wasn't helpful.

I'm not someone who likes to be all over someone, so it's not a deal breaker, but, I'm wondering if he can express himself physically in any way other than sexually.
Way too early to know. Would it be a deal breaker? Not likely. I'm actually concerned about some health issues he has, and that being a motivator for keeping a distance. Again, too soon for him to share all that, but it has crossed my mind.

I'm content with the pace, but I don't want to invest months with this only to find out these were warning signs. There's nothing so far that makes me wanna bail. I enjoy his company more than anyone in ages, and I can respect this pace and his needs. I prefer it too, I just didn't think it was possible.

Maybe I missed that part earlier in the thread. But how old is? That plays a big part. If he's 30 its rather uncommon due to cultural and biological reasons. If he's 50, then its probably not as unusual both from a physiological standpoint as well as perhaps he's from a more old fashioned cultural era.

[amy40]

He makes no effort to hold my hand or even a friendly hug hello. No compliments, no "good to see you", no shoulder tap, or wink...nothing.I'm wondering if he can express himself physically in any way.

or is he very religious, spiritual, or a deeply devoted church goer?

[atskitty2]

Adub, he's around my age...45. I don't remember exactly. I really don't think it's that, as I think he's had a lot of girlfriends and sex over the years. When I asked, he indicated subtly that past and how he wanted something different.
That did bring it to mind, about an STD, that may make him hesitate. His old lifestyle would probably make that a more plausible scenario, but for now, it wouldn't deter me just on theory. It's all speculation and I hate that I'm Even thinking about it! Lol it'll be what it's gonna be. It may be he's just genuinely interested in building a foundation before moving to the physical. It's kinda sad that I have a hard time believing that!

And I thought about religion, too, so I had asked about it on the third or 4th date. That's not it. Lol

[amy40]

as far as compliments.....don't remember anyone much giving me compliments or "flattering" me

[amy40]

third or 4th date.

you've already gone out more than I thought considering he travels a lot; he must really like you

[atskitty2]

Yeah, again, it's not alarming, just unusual. It's really nice not having that sort of forced, fake constant flattery. He's commented once, maybe twice...and I'm really ok with that. I'm not always complimentary either, so, it's fine.

We spent one evening already dressed down. I wore a ball cap even, little makeup... so, it's all good. I don't feel like I have to be always fixed up any more.

[amy40]

I wore a ball cap even, little makeup... so, it's all good. I don't feel like I have to be always fixed up any more.

that's good you feel comfortable enough to be yourself

[atskitty2]

So, back to the actual topic of this post which wasn't supposed to be my specific love life.

Maybe it's not as evident to those that aren't dating. It just seems the same with the singles I'm friends with. Something good does happen, and we seem conditioned to question it. To believe it's only gonna end up going bad...as it has countless times before. That There *must* be some horrible underlying flaw.

I don't like thinking this way. I'm trying to stop it.

I already had to talk myself off the ledge once... thought he was ditching me. Turns out he ditched family plans to see me...but I had convinced myself, yep...here it is...this is when it all falls apart.

I think the guys and girls both do it. My male friends say they feel this way too.

[amy40]

So, back to the actual topic of this post which wasn't supposed to be my specific love life.
Something good does happen, and we seem conditioned to question it. To believe it's only gonna end up going bad..

oops, I misunderstood, thought this was about your love life!

kitty, I think it's human nature.....if we think things in our life are going TOO well, it's only a matter of time before the shoes drops but life and people have ups and downs