[MissGoddess]

Still down, and more depressed than ever before.
Breaking down RANDOMLY everyday.
It's so random, it'll scare you; At work, at home, at friends' houses, at the mall, in bed [sometimes wake up in the middle of the night just crying.. Then fall asleep, still crying], in the shower, driving, etc.. It's totally random.. I can't stand it! As of today I promised myself not to communicate with him whatsoever.. I hope that helps both of us..

Sorry.. I needed to vent :\

[Natalie1516]

Keep It Going

I think you're doing a great job as well.
It definitely hurts not benig able to "have" the guy you care about so much!
I certainly have never been in a situation like you, as far as the guy's circumstance, but my ex was attracted to my happiness, smile, bubbly mood, and laid-back attitude as well. The girl I was "competing" with at the time for him, was very moody and dark, never had a smile on her face, & basically always looked like someone just died. So my goal was always to be in the best mood I could possibly be around him and never bring him down like I know this other girl did. Which this was not hard because being around him always put me in a good mood whether I liked it or not anyway The kid turned out to be hopeless in general, which is why he is now my ex, ha, but I certainly care about him a whole lot, and we're still friends, and I know I kept/keep him around as long as I have because I am just such a joy to be around Haha, no just kidding. But I feel as though I'm somewhat an escape for him, he doesn't have to worry about his excessive drama and all the other problems and whatnot he has with his life when he's with me, and even though we're not exclusive anymore he still seems to be drawn to me for some reason, and I think this is why.

As for your situation, I think it's a very wise choice to give him his space, and I would also HIGHLY recommend to keep going being in your good moods and all that. After all, he's made it clear that's something he finds really attractive in you. I don't think he'll see it as you moving on and not caring about him; however, I would make your feelings very clear to him, and be very motherly (a guy is like a big baby :P and loves to be "mothered") to him through these hard times, make sure he knows you're there for him and do little things to let him know you are still interested, without coming on too strong. Basically play both the friend and gf thing equally, so he knows you will be there for him if he just wants to be friends, but you are also still interested in being more. Guys who are as into their sports as he seems to be are so serious about it and its extremely important to them, as I'm sure you know, so this has got to be really tough for him. Even if he doesn't want to be your bf right now for whatever reason, if you are there for him during this and he realizes how good you've been to him without expecting anything in return, the attraction could start all over again when his mind clears (not saying it ever left or that he doesn't like you anymore, but I mean this as in as far as him wanting to get back together).

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Still down, and more depressed than ever before.
Breaking down RANDOMLY everyday.
It's so random, it'll scare you; At work, at home, at friends' houses, at the mall, in bed [sometimes wake up in the middle of the night just crying.. Then fall asleep, still crying], in the shower, driving, etc.. It's totally random.. I can't stand it! As of today I promised myself not to communicate with him whatsoever.. I hope that helps both of us..

Sorry.. I needed to vent :\

You may need your own personal space as well for a bit, just to stand tall again....

Breaking hearts take longer to heal than any other wound....


As the poster above said, never say never, but walk with no expectations, absolutely none and think happy thoughts, ...

Remember, that smile? Keep smiling....

x

CW

[MissGoddess]

Alright, time for the update.

I haven't seen him in a month. Haven't talked to him much either. Well I did call him two days ago, but only to tell him about my doctor's visit since thanks to him and his constant begging for me to go to the doctor, they found "something" in my right breast, but they didn'thave the proper things for a mammogram there but they scheduled me to go get one in a week or so. ANYWAY. I told him they found something, etc and we talked about life, work, friends, he talked about some games he got, all that good stuff. Not once did I mention "us" even though I wanted to. Oh and I made the convo short. Perhaps between 5 - 10 minutes? He was really quiet.. But still, we talked, and it was great!

The weird thing though, whenever we do talk, he is quiet and I get the vibe that he doesn't want to talk or something.. But We have plenty of mutual friends who have been keeping me informed on a couple of things. [[No, I don't ask them to.. They just come and say "oh guess what he told me!! etc]] I found out he misses me. He's even cried a couple of times. He posted something once about "i confess i still want to be with "you", I care for "you", I want "you" to be happy" all that good stuff. And then in that same thing he wrote, he was thanking "you" for having made him as happy and having changed him for good and he couldn't be more thankful. He never did mention who "you" is though, but.. Come on, put two and two together. I KNOW there isnt someone else. If anything, I know him better than anyone else, so I know he's just down and trying to get over me, but I dont know why. He said I didnt do anything wrong and im a great person so.. I don't know exactly what he's doing or why he's doing it. For now all I can do is keep waiting. Oh one of these days there's gonna be a concert around here that I told him about. I'm going and he said he said he's going as well [we're not riding together] so that's when I'm gonna see him next. Wish me luck!! :]


So.. That's the update.. We'll see where things take us.

[jessiesgirlt]

Men always want what they can't have! LOL My fiance tells me that all the time.

I don't know why this guy would push you away other than MAYBE he's thinking that with the spinal problem and such, if he pushes you away NOW, then you'll hurt less later. By that I mean, with all his problems, he's probably got it in his head that it's only going to be tough for you if things don't get better. He may be, in his mind, trying to spare you future pain by pushing you away in hopes that you will find someone else who has less troubles. That's the only reasoning that I can think of. I could be wrong (its been known to happen a time or two!) but like the others have said, both of you need some space. You are doing better than I would be at keeping your distance though! I commend you for being so strong...and the little breakdowns are normal and, as long as it's not causing you to lose a job or something, healthy as well. I say, keep on believing in him, continue to put distance between you, and continue to be his friend....BUT at some point you need to try to open your mind to the possibility that it ISN'T going to happen and TRY to entertain the idea of seeing other people. Who knows, maybe the thought/site of you with someone else will make him realize how much he still cares. In the meantime though, stay strong dear! And like she said earlier, if you love something, set it free.........

[MissGoddess]

Sorry I haven't been on in so long!! D:
For those of you who are wondering; no we still don't talk. No I don't break down anymore [[I've been on Prozac]] I am a little ashamed of admitting it, because I used to be the happiest person in the world, and now I'm on anti-depressants, but hey! It works!! And I feel great! :] As for him, I saw him a lot yesterday. I was with a guy friend of mine and he happened to be in the same place, at the same time. He looked like he wanted to talk to me, but I just kinda gave him this little fake smile and kept walking. I'm sorry, I've been feeling way too good to have him bring me down again. I think; if he really wants to talk to me, he'll call me or come over some day. Or at least text message me. Yes I've been holding strong. I still love him, with all my heart. And everyday I pray for his safety and happiness. I'm giving him his spce, now it's time to give myself some space. I've been hanging out with a few guy friends lately, but not like that.. Just cause they're funny. And there's one who I believe he might be jealous of.... I hope not. But there's the update. Like I said, I've been feeling great!! Holding up pretty strong, and yes I still have tons of faith is "us" :]