[GlitterAndStuds]

Hence we love WH, huh?! LOL.

Count me in, sistah!

Haha seriously! You guys are great for a talk-down. How many different times have I come back complaining about this? And every time, one of you manages to calm me down and feel better. I love you ladies (and dudes)!

[Texinator]

Just go talk to him.

I'm sure it's nothing and he just lied to protect your feelings, but it's still a lie. So find out what's going on from his side. But you should also see where these feelings are coming from, why that girl gets under your skin like that. You said yourself that you trust him and you don't think he'd ever do anything with her, so what's the reason that the idea of him being around he bothers you?

[kygirl]

Haha... you guys are great I know I'm being totally silly, and I have NO idea why it bothers me the way it does.

Even in past situations like this, I always told myself exactly what Ahryin said about him being with me and all that, and I would feel better. I think it's because this guy ISN'T a waste of life so I have an even bigger fear of losing him.

And Cat, I keep thinking that more and more. The whole kill 'em with kindness thing. You're both right that I should meet her, I just don't want to go out of my way, haha.

Again, I'm aware how insane it makes me come off, and I'm not normally like this, I can assure you. I know you guys here will always be straight with me, so when it bothers me I come straight here. It keeps me from biting someone else's head off.

Has the show that she was going to attend already happened? You said it was in January?? Maybe you could meet her then?

And btw, I agree with everyone else. You're going to have to trust him. There are always going to be women like that, but he's with YOU! He comes home to YOU! He wants to be with YOU

(And all this comes from a fellow "freak outter"... I've just learned to really think before I stress myself out about things... no reason to make a mountain out of a mole hill )

[LanaBear]

I may be the odd ball out here, but personally, I think it's going to eat you alive knowing that YOU know he was there, but him not telling you. So... solution... be up front and just tell him you know.

Just come out with it... "Hey, okay, so this has been killing me and I just want to tell you that I know you were at XYZ on Friday. Sally (insert friend's name) called me and said she saw you there, she was going to say Hi, but noticed you were talking to someone and didn't want to interrupt. I gave you the chance to tell me the truth, but you didn't and I just want to know why because now it just hurts. I want us to be honest with each other." Yada yada yada.

No bones about it. You need to talk about it or you aren't going to get over it.

[LanaBear]

Oh and what's the saying...

Keep your friends close, your enemies closer.....

[GlitterAndStuds]

Just go talk to him.

I'm sure it's nothing and he just lied to protect your feelings, but it's still a lie. So find out what's going on from his side. But you should also see where these feelings are coming from, why that girl gets under your skin like that. You said yourself that you trust him and you don't think he'd ever do anything with her, so what's the reason that the idea of him being around he bothers you?

I guess...bah. I have no idea where it comes from. Even if a girl bugs me (because most do), I've never been THIS bugged before. It doesn't make sense to me because I know he doesn't have it in him to hurt me, or anyone, like that. Then again, it's probably just simply that I've been cheated on in every other relationship I've had, and regardless of how good he is, there's still that underlying fear. And I've never had to worry about a girl this..... brazen. It just drives me nuts.

[GlitterAndStuds]

I may be the odd ball out here, but personally, I think it's going to eat you alive knowing that YOU know he was there, but him not telling you. So... solution... be up front and just tell him you know.

Just come out with it... "Hey, okay, so this has been killing me and I just want to tell you that I know you were at XYZ on Friday. Sally (insert friend's name) called me and said she saw you there, she was going to say Hi, but noticed you were talking to someone and didn't want to interrupt. I gave you the chance to tell me the truth, but you didn't and I just want to know why because now it just hurts. I want us to be honest with each other." Yada yada yada.

No bones about it. You need to talk about it or you aren't going to get over it.

You know, I love the way you worded what I should say. I do agree with everyone else that I need to be more trusting and worry less. But the thing that's bugging me the most is that I know, and haven't said anything. I guess I haven't said it sooner because I don't want him to think I'm attacking him or anything. We've discussed it so many times and I feel like he still doesn't get how weirded out I get by it.

I know I'll have to ask because it's been bothering me a lot the last couple of days. It's already making me act a little different. Even if it was something as small as just wanting to spare my feelings... it's still dishonest. And it's still him doing something he knew I wouldn't like, and honestly, it was behind my back which is what's killing me right now.

[LanaBear]

I just know if it were me, I would not be able to just sit back and not say anything to him about knowing he was there. It would eat at me for ages until it was brought up, I would end up acting different around him (as you've already noticed yourself doing) and soon it would just blow up and be an entirely bigger issue than it should have been in the first place.

Get the load off your chest and let him explain himself truthfully this time. Don't go PHB on him, keep yourself in check too. You've both got a good thing going, so let him apologize for not telling you and move on.

[Texinator]

Then again, it's probably just simply that I've been cheated on in every other relationship I've had, and regardless of how good he is, there's still that underlying fear.

Cheating is not a normal part of a relationship, so no matter how many times it's happened in the past, you shouldn't worry about it in a new relationship. The past is the past and Adam is Adam, so..

I know, I know.. easier said than done!

[caterpillar79]

The denial is something to worry about. Big things start from small ones. Like Lana, Tex and KY said, be upfront about it. Tell him and show him you mean business. You're not a doormat, you deserve a fair share of respect.

Time to wear your big girl panties if need be.