[CHANDLERS WISH]

CW... I stopped diving and recently got into another sport... Running. This is something that I've always wanted to do but I was so out of shape and was a heavy smoker too. I was discouraged to even try. Now, not only do I feel healthier and sexier (I lost weight from all the running and feel so much better about myself), but it also feels great to actually do something else that I can enjoy. My goal is to run a marathon

It's slowly beginning to feel like I am redeeming parts of my life back, and I am beginning to enjoy life again.

Good for you

I think the key is always in ourselves... If we don't feel good about ourselves, we will pine for that lost love...

Getting parts of your life back, having those goals, dreams, seeing the difference, feeling the difference makes you feel very empowered..

Kind of proud of you mam

CW

[caterpillar79]

CW... I stopped diving and recently got into another sport... Running. This is something that I've always wanted to do but I was so out of shape and was a heavy smoker too. I was discouraged to even try. Now, not only do I feel healthier and sexier (I lost weight from all the running and feel so much better about myself), but it also feels great to actually do something else that I can enjoy. My goal is to run a marathon

It's slowly beginning to feel like I am redeeming parts of my life back, and I am beginning to enjoy life again.

Way to go, Sexybabe! LIke WC said, the best revenge is for you to live well, and love yourself more. You will see a huge difference inside - out. The more you better yourself, the better the next man you will meet. But let's not focus on that yet, but to yourself.

When I was in the dumps, I did some Ta Kwan Do and Belly Dancing. It did me well. Like you, I had the roller-coaster ride once in a while and just feel so awful, but time heals. Be patient with yourself, you'll get there.

Get fit and toned, run and walk all your calories and miseries away.

[sexybabe]

When I was in the dumps, I did some Ta Kwan Do and Belly Dancing. It did me well. Like you, I had the roller-coaster ride once in a while and just feel so awful, but time heals. Be patient with yourself, you'll get there.

Running doesn't seem to help these days I just learned that he has a new gf now. WTF? 5 months into the breakup and he found someone else? Well, I'm still trying to grapple with the fact that he doesn't love me anymore and that he's never coming back. The thought of him loving someone else torments me. But I'm really trying to handle this as best as I could. I wonder how he could move on so quickly, how he could find someone so easily. Is he rebounding? Did I really mean anything to him? I know I shouldn't even wonder.. but you can't help but think about these things now can you?

[PandaPaws]

Running doesn't seem to help these days I just learned that he has a new gf now. WTF? 5 months into the breakup and he found someone else? Well, I'm still trying to grapple with the fact that he doesn't love me anymore and that he's never coming back. The thought of him loving someone else torments me. But I'm really trying to handle this as best as I could. I wonder how he could move on so quickly, how he could find someone so easily. Is he rebounding? Did I really mean anything to him? I know I shouldn't even wonder.. but you can't help but think about these things now can you?

Ugh. That's awful. Totally natural for you to feel that way though. I think the best thing for you to do is to know as little about him as possible. My bf and I are unstable state right now, and I have already had thoughts like what you posted here, and it made me sick to even think about.

[sexybabe]

Ugh. That's awful. Totally natural for you to feel that way though. I think the best thing for you to do is to know as little about him as possible. My bf and I are unstable state right now, and I have already had thoughts like what you posted here, and it made me sick to even think about.

It really is difficult. Before we broke up, I thought i was "ready" for it. "I saw this coming... I'll be alright". "I'm better off without you". "I will be happier if we're not together anymore". These were the thoughts I had before the breakup. But I learned that I could never be ready for anything like it. Nothing, and i mean nothing in my life ever hurt like him. Hang in there. I hope you two work it out. But if you'd like to talk about it, please let me know. Sometimes, just having someone listen to you eases up your pains. That's why I keep coming back to this forum. I've never been judged here, and this is where I always get sound and objective advise.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

sexybabe.

The people we hurt the most is "ourselves". No one hurts us, not if you think about it.

You gave "your all" and stood by this guy, and you gave him confidence that if you could love him, so could someone else...

You gave.

Remember, life is about learning and sometimes when something has been learnt, then a person can move on, to learn more.

I have no doubt he meant those words "once", but isn't this your life?

Someone has moved on, in your life, enabling you to find.

You can sit and wollow, or you can kick butt and run like the wind, enjoy life, feel sexy, alive and know that that journey came to an end and "wow" what does the future hold now? If you wollow in the past, you live in the past.

Your a giver, when you give, you can't expect back, you just give, yes you get hurt, but you need to realise, that chapter has closed for a reason and trust me when I say, the next boyfriend will be 100 times better, more special, if only you'll allow yourself to live in the present and go on with your future.

CW

[jns]

Sexybabe: have you started going out for activities with friends, including guy friends, yet? It just takes longer to move on if you keep on making yourself a memorial to what your ex didn't want. Don't worry about forgetting him, he should always be there, hopefully remembering when you and he had good times. Just start having good times and fun times with friends and family. Put the memories of him in their proper place. You cannot go back, so you shouldn't spend a lot of your time wishing for what might have been. That being said, allow yourself a good cry about it from time to time.

[PandaPaws]

Hang in there. I hope you two work it out. But if you'd like to talk about it, please let me know. Sometimes, just having someone listen to you eases up your pains. That's why I keep coming back to this forum. I've never been judged here, and this is where I always get sound and objective advise.

Thank you - i might take you up on that sometime. I'm staying with him for now, trying to give him another chance, but I just don't know if I really can.
Hope you're doing okay.

[caterpillar79]

It really is difficult. Before we broke up, I thought i was "ready" for it. "I saw this coming... I'll be alright". "I'm better off without you". "I will be happier if we're not together anymore". These were the thoughts I had before the breakup. But I learned that I could never be ready for anything like it. Nothing, and i mean nothing in my life ever hurt like him. Hang in there. I hope you two work it out. But if you'd like to talk about it, please let me know. Sometimes, just having someone listen to you eases up your pains. That's why I keep coming back to this forum. I've never been judged here, and this is where I always get sound and objective advise.

You're still probably in shock by then. Just now, your feeling your emotions - let it flow, don't suppress. If you have to cry, do so. Talk to yourself in front of a mirror - share your pain, how much it hurts - have at it. But don't stop there. Continue talking to yourself and then pause, find something that you can hold on to - something good about you, to lift you up. Capitalize on that, talk yourself into forgiveness - forgiving your short comings, and move on. Tell yourself in the mirror how beautiful you are, and how you will rise up again and try to visualize how you would see yourself to be once this has cleared up.

Pamper yourself with love, dear. No matter how much you are not so into physical activities (i.e. running) right now, still do it or at least stay fit. Just do what would improve your self image even if you have to force yourself in doing it (for now).

Sometimes, it is also good that he has a new GF now. Why? Because it can tell him and help him realize what it is he really wants/who it is he really loves; and it can also tell you if he is the one for you. But while "waiting" for that realization, don't put your life on hold. Go out with your girlfriends. Enjoy your solitude. And then, once you are ready you can start dating. Some dating coaches advise circular dating. Just go out and treat each man you meet as free therapy (I'm being cruel to men here - but hey, whatever works for you! Just be honest with them, they'd appreciate it).

Whether he is on the rebound or not, it is not longer for you to worry about. Purge all things about him. Cut all means of communication. Throw away all mementos of him. clean your place and rid everything that reminds you of him. Change your wardrobe, your hairstyle, even your kitchen ware if you have to. Keep looking ahead. Don't falter. You are a precious gem. Tell your self in front of the mirror: "It's his loss, not mine".

[sexybabe]

sexybabe.

The people we hurt the most is "ourselves". No one hurts us, not if you think about it.

You gave "your all" and stood by this guy, and you gave him confidence that if you could love him, so could someone else...

You gave.

Remember, life is about learning and sometimes when something has been learnt, then a person can move on, to learn more.

I have no doubt he meant those words "once", but isn't this your life?

Someone has moved on, in your life, enabling you to find.

You can sit and wollow, or you can kick butt and run like the wind, enjoy life, feel sexy, alive and know that that journey came to an end and "wow" what does the future hold now? If you wollow in the past, you live in the past.

Your a giver, when you give, you can't expect back, you just give, yes you get hurt, but you need to realise, that chapter has closed for a reason and trust me when I say, the next boyfriend will be 100 times better, more special, if only you'll allow yourself to live in the present and go on with your future.

CW

Oh, CW. You always make a lot of sense and give excellent advise. If not for all of you wonderful people taking the time to talk to me here, I would have lost my mind or made even more stupid mistakes.

I'm on the road to recovery and I know it's just a matter of time. I am moving on, I really am. My friends tell me that I have a more positive outlook now, they see that I'm starting to enjoy life again.

I always keep your words in my mind and in my heart. Thank you...