[mdraven380]

Well here we go again.
We had a nice weekend and then come monday he ignores me again.
I almost left him today but then went back in the house to talk to him.
He basically told me that he only goes on with women that are middle of the road as far a looks go because the hot chicks will use that to get there way and he doesn't want to have to worry about them cheating on him.
Then he keeps mentioning the fact that I'm 6 yrs older than him in the sense that I guess I'm old an mediocer now.
I give up.

[pretzel]

He basically told me that he only goes on with women that are middle of the road as far a looks go because the hot chicks will use that to get there way and he doesn't want to have to worry about them cheating on him.
Then he keeps mentioning the fact that I'm 6 yrs older than him in the sense that I guess I'm old an mediocer now.
I give up.

Quite honestly, it's time to tell him to kiss you where the sun doesn't shine and walk away.

Nobody deserves to be talked to and treated that way.

[WildChild]

Quite honestly, it's time to tell him to kiss you where the sun doesn't shine and walk away.

Nobody deserves to be talked to and treated that way.

I'll second that

[KMonte85]

He basically told me that he only goes on with women that are middle of the road as far a looks go because the hot chicks will use that to get there way and he doesn't want to have to worry about them cheating on him.
Then he keeps mentioning the fact that I'm 6 yrs older than him in the sense that I guess I'm old an mediocer now.
I give up.

My goodness, how insulting! What was your response to something like that? I mean, from what you've just said he basically put it out there that he's dating you because your looks are "mediocre" and so you will not push to get your way, he can do what he wants and not have to worry about you leaving him. Um, OUCH.

I think what the others have said is right.. it may be time to cut your losses here... any person who treats a SO this way is not worthy to be in a relationship, let alone with someone like you who deserves to be treated much better! Let him find someone else like him who is devoid of true emotion and tact. Then you go and find someone who is emtionally available, kind, and all the things you would want from a SO.

[Hopeless Dork]

Well here we go again.
We had a nice weekend and then come monday he ignores me again.
I almost left him today but then went back in the house to talk to him.
He basically told me that he only goes on with women that are middle of the road as far a looks go because the hot chicks will use that to get there way and he doesn't want to have to worry about them cheating on him.
Then he keeps mentioning the fact that I'm 6 yrs older than him in the sense that I guess I'm old an mediocer now.
I give up.

You don't deserve this Raven. You are a beautiful woman, you are sexual and giving and charming. He sounds like a total D-bag from everything I've read you write about him.

Go in to your mind and weigh the things he does that make you feel beautiful, special and loved against the things he does to make you feel disposable, unwanted and hurt.

If the cards are stacked more in favor of the latter... pack it up my dear, as much as it hurts... as much as your heart is invested -- free it up to invest it in someone more worthy of it. Its priceless...he doesn't deserve it.

[mdraven380]

My goodness, how insulting! What was your response to something like that? I mean, from what you've just said he basically put it out there that he's dating you because your looks are "mediocre" and so you will not push to get your way, he can do what he wants and not have to worry about you leaving him. Um, OUCH.

I think what the others have said is right.. it may be time to cut your losses here... any person who treats a SO this way is not worthy to be in a relationship, let alone with someone like you who deserves to be treated much better! Let him find someone else like him who is devoid of true emotion and tact. Then you go and find someone who is emtionally available, kind, and all the things you would want from a SO.

Yes I would like to find someone like that.
I think he wants to keep me down. Funny how in the beginning he told me how beautiful I was but not I' a "middle of the road kinda girl".lol

[mdraven380]

You don't deserve this Raven. You are a beautiful woman, you are sexual and giving and charming. He sounds like a total D-bag from everything I've read you write about him.

Go in to your mind and weigh the things he does that make you feel beautiful, special and loved against the things he does to make you feel disposable, unwanted and hurt.

If the cards are stacked more in favor of the latter... pack it up my dear, as much as it hurts... as much as your heart is invested -- free it up to invest it in someone more worthy of it. Its priceless...he doesn't deserve it.

Right now he makes me feel like and old fat cow. But yet he says he loves me. I watch him manipulate his sisters, children and mom. He basically puts his daughter down all the time and she is only 9. She's a strong child and I watch her boost her own eago a lot of the time. I always make her feel worthy.
He always makes comments about other women in front of me. and it feels disrespectful. I don't care if he looks cause we all look but I don't say something if a hot guy walks past me becasue I have respect for my SO.
Then he tells me everyone leaves him. Gee I wonder why,lol
I give up. Every guy I pick is the same but this one picked me so I must be giving off some sort of victim vibe.

[KMonte85]

Yes I would like to find someone like that.
I think he wants to keep me down. Funny how in the beginning he told me how beautiful I was but not I' a "middle of the road kinda girl".lol

That seems to be the typical progression of many relationships. In the beginning, they are still courting you, trying to get you attached through flattery, attention, affection.

....then it changes and their true motivation comes out. You get to see the real person.


I think you've hit that stage in your relationship - he's not throwing up the smoke screen anymore for you because he thinks he's got you right where he wants you - emotionally involved and willing to put up with his antics.

I think you see how things are going to be if you stay, its now time for you to decide if this is what you want and can be happy with

[pretzel]

Can I make a suggestion.

Print this thread, remove all poster names and put it in a envelope. Tuck it away for a week, come back then and re-read what you have.

I'll think you'll find that not only do you have a strong support group here, but that being objective in thought will tell you what you need to do.

Personally, if you keep letting this narcissitic person continue in your life, he wins. It's not you who has the issues, it's him. Narcissists don't change and if they do it's because they finally come to some revelation about themselves. Ask yourself honestly if he is what you want out of life?

[WildChild]

Pretzel make some very good points but I'd add one. I recognize it because I've done it over and over. Take some time to look at why you let men who cannot love you into your life. We all have dramas and scripts that we may play out over and over again. To see change in our lives we have identify them and change them. I was raised being told that I was "mean and selfish" Why? because my mother had a problem with her older sister and I was the older sister. Fold into that a father with poor emotional control which resulted in abuse and I have trouble setting boundries with how I am treated and walking away when not treated right. It seems you have a similar problem. We are too sensitve to other's feelings and not good at getting our needs met.

Being aware of where this comes from may not be enough to resolve it but it's a start. You deserve so much better!