[mdraven380]

Hi mdraven - btw does that have anything to do with the baltimore ravens...lol
First and foremost I think your a making a good decision. Let me caution you, make sure his actions speak louder than his words, people like your friend rarely if ever change. Its just a matter of time, it could be 2 weeks or 2 months. They can only contain themselves and the anger built up inside them for so long and then they explode again. I think once you are removed from the situation you will see how much less stress you will have in your life and how less you become dependent on them for your emotional happiness. Just my 2cents. I know from experience

Hi, no it's not for the baltimore ravens, sorry.
I came up with the name after my mom passed away.
M for my mom's first name-Madeline,
D for my first name and raven just because I like it and combined with d spells draven my as in Eric Draven( Brandon Lee) from The Crow.
Hope that explains it,lol.

Also I do agree with you. I guess in my mind it is worth it if the good times outway the bad times. He realized what he lost when I was gone for a couple of days or at least he says he did. He said he missed me so much.And he know how good I treat him.

[mdraven380]

i agree with everyone else, sorry you fell down the stairs, ouch thats all you need!

Thank you,
I'm ok, just have some bruises. Could have been way worse. I'm such a cluts,lol

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I'm kind of feeling proud of you

You stood your ground, made your statements, but also had the guts and belief to actually find you along the way as well and not allow a man to own that, change that, take that away.

I can even see the difference in my most recent photos of myself. I look tired bloated and worn out. My sister is always telling me that I dress like a streetwalker and look like I need a makeover because I still look like I'm dressing like the 80's. She also tells me I should cut my hair short and a lot of other things I should do with my life. This started to happen after my mom died. But she is also taking away my idedntity.
I'm going to reclaim ME.

And, you've done it again here with your sister. I like the fact that you realise the last part " she is also taking away my identity"... It is who you are and you realise that and don't have to be like her, or what she percieves you should be and if you cut your hair I'll kill you Man, why would you want short hair when you have hair like yours

[mdraven380]

I'm kind of feeling proud of you

You stood your ground, made your statements, but also had the guts and belief to actually find you along the way as well and not allow a man to own that, change that, take that away.



And, you've done it again here with your sister. I like the fact that you realise the last part " she is also taking away my identity"... It is who you are and you realise that and don't have to be like her, or what she percieves you should be and if you cut your hair I'll kill you Man, why would you want short hair when you have hair like yours

Thanks CW,
My sister has always had very short hair and always tells me my hair looks out of style. Even though when we are aout I get complements she still thinks I dress outdated and ,well just that my hair and clothes look like they are from the 80's and not age appropriate. I have a hard time finding clothes. I just can't find anything I like. Everything around here is so plain and most of the women that go out are all dressed in their "basic uniforms", lol meaning Blue jeans and black shirt. Some don't even look like they've combed their hair. It's just thrown up on top of their head with a scrunchie and now makeup.
BTW, I ordered the book and it is being shipped now. I'm excited to read it!

[mdraven380]

here we go again

I guess if I;m gonna stay with him I can expect this every three weeks or so. It's like a patteren with him I;ve noticed.
He is calling me and keeping in touch and telling me he loves me then all of a sudden he telles me how he's been neglecting things at howm he has to get done and he doesn't want me ther while he doing them becasue he's afraid I'd get board. But yet I clean ,cook and take his daughter out with me while he works on his car or goes to band practice.
I've not seen him since mon. morning and have barely spoken with him. I'm supposed to see him today but he hasn't called or texted me all day and I've sent him two texts.
I'm so upset and sick in the stomache. I don't think he would cheat on me and I know he is at work. What bothers me is just the fact that I feel rejected. I just feel like he is sure of me now so he only wants to see me at his convienence. This hurts really bad but I put up with it becasue I feel that anyone I'm with will be the same way so what difference does it make at this point.
And he has nerve to say he will always be here for me? But yet for the past two days I've sat alone.

I'm becoming increasingly depressed and feel so sick.
I give up on everfinding someone that cares about me as much as I care about them.
From what I've noticed guys only like to be with women taht treat them like , use them and take all their money and cheat on them.
Seems like every BF I've ever had has had a ex that has treated them badly and when I treat them good they don't treat me the same way.
Just wondering if there is any man that exists that will be 'the one' for me?

I'm so sad and depressed and it's always the same no matter who I'm with. I never feel secure in the relationship. He keeps telling me he's not going aywhere and doesn't want anyone else but they have all said the same thing and then end up leaving me.
When I'm with someone I don't just ignore them until it is convinent for me to talk to them or see them. I make them and important part of my life. I text him as soon as I onpen my eyes in the morning and I want to talk to him before bed at night.
I want to feel taht closeness and security.
I give up, I surrender because I know I will never had this.
I'm doomed to be alone forever.

[mdraven380]

ok I went back tot he beginning of this thread and noticed just like clock work once a month I go through this with him.
Is it me or is he just having a mood swing?
I'm so sick right now I could just die

[mdraven380]

Ok things are better today. Guess it's really just me. Seems like when I give him so space to get things done he is nice afterwards.

[Maximus]

Maybe "Love" is not about power after all, but loving the other regardless of what they do or don't do.
Else it's a business transaction.
If you give me time, I will give my loving;
etc...

Not easy to overcome this, as long as we don't; we are stuck with the sorrow and suffering.

V.

[KMonte85]

Raven, I think this situations is a mix of the best and worst that you have expressed here...

" What bothers me is just the fact that I feel rejected. I just feel like he is sure of me now so he only wants to see me at his convienence."

and

"Seems like when I give him so space to get things done he is nice afterwards. "

Sometimes, we really do just need a few days away to take care of things. I know for me, personally, I wouldn't have wanted my SO around when I had boring house chores and things to get done. I need to focus on the tasks, and I want to get through my pending "To-Do's" as fast as possible, so having a SO around would probably slow that process up. I'd be worried too that they were bored while I'm running about vaccuuming, running errands, doing yardwork, laundry, etc. and so the distraction would cause me to not get stuff done as quickly as I wanted... better to take a day or two and get that done so that the time spent with my SO is quality and I can focus on them instead of all the tasks I have pending floating around in my mind and distracting me. So in that way, I can see where he's coming from.

However, I think you are a convenience to him. He knows you are right there, sitting by your phone and ready to answer and be at his beck and call whenever he decides to throw you a bone and text/call you. But that goes back to the very first page of this thread. I said almost the exact same thing then too. You're making yourself too available to him, and relying on him to alleviate your loneliness - he knows this and he's using it to his advantage. Because that is a form of control, he can control when you are feeling good and when you are feeling lonely. So stop giving him that control over you. Find other things to occupy your time when he says he's busy, or even perhaps, when he's not busy. Join some clubs, get involved in community service, spend time with family and friends, find things to take up your time so that you can be happy and fulfilled even when he isn't around. Because right now, it seems he has way too much emphasis on your mood and sense of self worth!