[Ariselle]

I don't see how you've let him down. He's manipulative and emotionally abusive, if you go there I think you will end up miserable and in a far worse situation than you are now.
Have your cry and then find something fun to do.

There were a few times where I promised to go there, then backed out from fear and what damage it would cause with my family situation. That wasn't fair to him. He can't visit me because he takes care of his grandmother (the Vegas thing wasn't long enough to matter he says).

I'm just so sad.

[JadedQueen]

Seriously.... how much effort does it really take to text/call you while he's away on a trip with someone else? To me putting effort into a relationship is showing a person that you love them by being faithful, respectful, loving, supporting, honest and kind. Text messages and calling does not equal effort he's just playing you cuz he wants to have his cake and eat it to. Don't give him the satisfaction, you deserve so much more than a relationship that makes you unhappy cuz you have to share with someone else... that's not love.... tell him it's over, change your phone number and don't look back it may be difficult at first but once you are over it you will be free to find a real relationship with someone that puts forth the effort to make you happy and cuz they love you and would do anything for you.... even be faithful to you. Dump the loser and don't look back, he's not worth the heartache and tears.

[Ariselle]

The situation is a lot worse now. He called me last night and at first was really mean. I ended up crying and although I was trying to be quiet, I was heard by my family (the walls are too thin). I have dealt with lack of privacy while I saved money (I am very fortunate to have a good family, but my father is controlling). I am (hasn't been said but I'm sure someone wonders) 25 years old and have been in gradschool (I work for the school and of course I pay my own way etc). I woke this morning hearing my father call me a liar in another room (exactly what I was being called on the phone last night) in a conversation with my mother.

Back in January I had tried to end things with the boyfriend. He essentially guilted me and I was lonely and I reluctantly gave him another chance. He started treating me better for a while, and even let me not share for a while (I thought it was a permanent change). He changed...things were better...then he went back to the guy and sometimes would get angry and say horrible things or emotionally tear me up, then apologize and things would go back for a while. I always thought I'd just been so stupid, said or done something without thinking.

Right now he's in the position "if you don't visit here, it's over" after our phone conversation. It's very common that he breaks up and then takes it back. I believe that it is really over though. He has told me all the people in his life telling him to leave me, and that I'm being unfair and horrible to him...although I really don't feel like I am.

This morning, right now, I'm not as sad about the breakup like I was after the shock in my last post. Right now I'm worried about my dad's reaction.

[WildChild]

Hummm. so you found a man just like your dad? That may be familiar but is it what you really want to live with?

[Ariselle]

Hummm. so you found a man just like your dad? That may be familiar but is it what you really want to live with?

No, I don't want to be in it. It hurts because Ive put so much into it, so much time, so much information, and suffered for it. I believed he loved me, but the emotional abuse is too much. I just want to be alone for a while. I really hate everyone talking about me behind my back (he tells everyone how bad I am and they all side with him, even the few who know about the sharing).

I have suspicions, but I'm not sure why dad thinks I'm a liar. He gave me a talk on my sleeping habits (I got 4-5 hrs sleep but he was convinced I'd had 14 and think I'm sleeping too much) and weight yesterday (only thing I can figure is that I was a bit bloated from menstruation, and he saw that as gaining weight), which set me up to feel like scum, although that's not his intention. I'm just so tired right now, physically and emotionally. Exhausted.

[WildChild]

A nice long soak in the tub with some candles and Enya, buy yourself some flowers, get some bright colored helium ballons and take them for a walk.