[kygirl]

I agree but in fairness, I think I should still say something to him. If not, and this were to happen again and again, then it'd be unfair of me to suddenly be like "why do you keep doing that? I find it very frustrating and inconsiderate." when he'd done time and time again and I hadn't ever even remotely eluded to it bothering me. We just have an honesty approach on things. I do think, however, that there is better timing than others upon which to mention things

[kygirl]

Okay, back to being annoyed...

Okay so I was talking to the boy after I got home last night and all was well. We're planning a little cookout this weekend..well he asked me if I was wanting to do Saturday or Sunday. I said, well, Sunday because you have your think Saturday night... And he says....

"Well that's not till like 9:00"

Okay, I now am increasingly finding this odd again... really?? 9:00 pm at night? You all don't know him like I do but normally on weekends even we're in bed like by 11:00...We very rarely go to a late movie because 9:00 is too late really... BUT he's going to this event at 9:00?!

I want to wait and have a civil discussion...I really do but come on now...

[Ashlee T.]

A 9pm dinner date? In Kentucky? I mean, maybe they do it big like in the big cities where you are in KY but in this neck of the woods, we're either drunk or in bed by 9.

I know if it were me I'd have to talk to him about it before I totally blew it out of proportion and ended up exploding like a backed up steam engine. I'd be the same way you are, but consider that a GOOD thing about yourself girl. Do you know how many women so desperately want Mr. Right that they're willing to ignore red flags and concerns in order to have him?

This situation makes you uncomfortable, you find it odd (Can't say I blame you), and it's going to nag on your heart until you openly communicate with him about it. Whats the worst that could happen? If you talk with him about it and he says OMG you're a jealous freak I'm OUTTA here......then better now than later, right? Not saying that's how he'd respond, but you get my point. Either way, it's better to ease yourself of the worry and discuss it like adults. Don't wanna wait until there is steam rolling out your ears to have that discussion.

[kygirl]

I have asked for more specifics (casually) of what they are doing Saturday. I am still very frustrated with the whole thing... I mean, honestly I think it comes down to him just not knowing when/how to say "no" sometimes when people ask him to do things... Then he is committed and can't back out... We have discussed this. I used to be that way and would let people guilt me into things, but I have gotten *much* better about asking for time to think before I commit to things...

Anyway, I'm sure there will be a discussion of some sorts about it when the time is right. I am *really* trying to not get aggravated but last night when he said 9:00, I was kind of shell shocked. I mean, we don't normally go out for anything that starts after 8:00 so it's just frustrating that he'd even agree to it.

[sourpuss]

Have you asked him why she asked him to go and not someone else? Have you asked him if he thinks that maybe she likes him.
I agree with the other posters that it's probably not a big deal, but if it's bothering you, then you need to say something. Why don't you make plans with someone you don't get to see much on that night, so you're not at home stewing about it?

[kygirl]

I've already made other plans so I definitely will not be sitting at home stewing about it But if I had to guess, she probably asked him because she knew he wouldn't say no. I will definitely be mentioning it but I don't want to make him feel bad, but rather convey that the whole thing just bothered me a bit. The 9:00 time frame just was the icing on the cake , so to speak...

[Ashlee T.]

So in the meantime.....how do you spend time with him and not act like anything is bothering you? I'm not good at that.

[kygirl]

i didn't... we had a complete blow up last night... it started as completely unrelated although I did get *some* details...she asked him because she doesn't have to worry about anything with him... It's a fundraiser and he was thinking *maybe* he'd run into some people and he knows he is just bad at saying no. We talked about that and lots of other things...basically how his decisions also affect me and how I feel like he doesn't show emotions enough so I don't know how he feels when we have these discussions, etc.

It was a good talk. I was hysterical and crying and it didn't start well BUT it ended well. I think he now at least understands a bit better that I are involved too and his choices aren't just affecting him. He is a good listener honestly. I feel like sometimes I have to try saying things a few different ways to see which one seems to click BUT I definitely give him props for trying to understand.

[pretzel]

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said it didn't start well, but ended well. That's how disagreements should work. Both of you should be commended for that. That really is one of the true building blocks for a successful relationship.

It may be time to place this on the back burner. Hopefully another issue like this won't rear it's ugly head again.

[Ashlee T.]

Ohh I see. So at least you feel some better about it now. Hopefully he will show to you in the future that he will be more considerate of you in times like those.

I will warn one thing based on "I feel like he doesn't show emotions enough". My experience with a statement like this is usually the person saying it is in some way expecting the other person to express emotions like THEY do, else it's not "enough". My ex was that way with me. My emotions are expressed much differently than his, but in his eyes, I didn't show my emotions enough.......when in REALITY, I showed them enough, just not like HE wanted me to. So anyway, be careful with that. We're all different, we express differently.....and it's often mistaken that if someone doesn't reciprocate the way we express, then they must not feel the same way or as strongly as we do.

Not saying you necessarily feel that way, those words just sort of stood out to me. But, of course they would given my own recent situation. haha.