[jns]

Seniora, I think there is nothing you can do except not respond to him in any way. Eventually he will be bored and go away. If others ask why you don't respond, tell them why in private messages, if possible. If he gains a few friends, freeze them out also. If the forum is no longer friendly, leave. Do not publish personal information in public places.

[Seniora]

Thank you, jns. I never, ever publish personal info in public places - I 'met' this person through a private messaging facility 2 years ago. For months now I've been hearing "he'll get bored" but he doesn't!! I have the administrator on side and he has issued me with another username but I feel a fraud as people keep talking to me thinking I'm new. I worry that confiding in them will cause it to leak out. All I can do is leave the forum - yet again (the 3rd one). Please be assured I HAVE NOT responded to him in any way for 2 months now. He seems to become more aggressive and where is his pride? I couldn't chase after somebody who had given me the cold shoulder - simply couldn't. Perhaps this is one of the yardsticks by which we measure a person's overall mental health. It is sad, though.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Each Administrators of a Forum are different..

Respectfully, let Little advise what she would do if it was here.

Perhaps there may be a few more thoughts there to what I would advise

Such as:- If you can open a new account and talk to your "friends" advising of the situation...

If you know his email address and can confirm harrasement on another Forum and provide the Admin with the email address and see if it matches and request he be banned. If he is harrassing you.

Let's see what tomorrow brings and try not to stress too much yet.

CW

[Seniora]

Thanks very much for the help. I've been contacted by 2 acquaintances on that music forum and they've both offered support. The offending person is being very good at the moment...like a ticking time bomb....and the Admin has given his personal email address and said, "contact me the very minute he puts a foot wrong". So, that's nice. Meanwhile, I will stop posting for a while to see what - if anything - happens. All this is self-inflicted, I know!! Big mistake becoming 'involved', but after many, many other contacts and great discussions this is the ONLY problem I've ever had - in 2 years!! So, the majority of people are decent. Cheers!

[Little]

In that event, as the Admin, I'd definitely ban the stalker off the bat. I don't let anybody make threats to other members on my forum and don't foster "real life" dysfunction here either. For example, a few years ago, the ex-husband of a poster registered to stalk and harass her, and I guess to try to use the information he got here for legal action. His account was banned immediately.
I don't know what he thought he'd get out of it - we don't release IP addresses, without which there's next to no hope of proving who a poster is. (Even with an IP address, you can't always prove it.)

I'm surprised that the Admin hasn't banned the stalker. Maybe they're not "into" banning people on their forum, but I'm not really "into" letting people run wild, run their mouths, and run down other people just because of an open Quick Reply box. I ban toxic personalities all the time, and the forum is better for it.

[BabyGirl]

And to say they are " fair and balanced " here is an Understatement. The Admins and Mods here, really care about all of the Members, their safety, security and their feelings.

And are also quick to Protect and even Attempt to Correct behavior, when needed. I remember a year and 1/2 ago,(or so) getting a PM from a Admin, Now Friend, that politely explained that something I had said or the way I had said it, came off offensive or caustic to the Poster. I had,in no way had meant it to hurt or harm or upset anyone, but it was taken that way.

Instead of just banning me outright, I was told of the situation and asked to please " check " how I say things, as they may be taken differently that I meant them . I apologized to the Poster Immediately and of course to the Staff here. I realize that I can be very "Direct" sometimes .

But all in all this is one of the best places to get and give, info, advise and even just to have some fun and relaxation.

I used to Admin for a site for over 5 years, that had forums and 3 Chat~rooms..
It was a Challenge to keep up with all of it, keep it running smoothly,help the people who had problems with the site and have 24 hour Mods and Admins, of course world wide for different time zones. Work, raise my kids, find trustworthy mods, solve disputes between Mods themselves on Choices they made between members.

computerSkeleton.jpg

No thats not me, but sure felt like it back then .

So what and how they do it here, is undeniably some of the best, I've seen.
But I know that if I ever feel stalked or mistreated or get too " into it " meaning online, feelings or emotions..

I can always....

Click the " Off Button" on my Comp.. And go do something Positive

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Gawd I look like that sometimes BG Well in my mind anyways lols.