[Seniora]

BTW, CW, I didn't fully understand the first sentence in your comments...!! It was a bit "stream of consciousness" for me to understand.

As an aside, and bit of extra information, my erstwhile companion is not a bad person - merely a troubled one (and I seem to have found my share of highly intelligent, troubled individuals in my lifetime. Trouble is, I'm drawn to them and then I expect them to behave like everybody else!!) I met a charming couple on a cruise just recently - he was an American engineer in his mid 40's - quite a lot younger than we were. Another couple then joined us, and I remember thinking I would rather be talking to my internet crazy than this boring Englishman who was self-actualizing and humourless. You are right when you say, "You attract what you attract in your life". I like to think I also attract clever, decent, conventional people. But I have compassion and empathy for my internet friend as, underneath it all, he's a fairly decent human being. He likes me but just doesn't know HOW to express that. I guess some people have gone through life with others not liking them and, when somebody does, it catches them off-guard and they cannot handle it: preferring instead to resort to sabotage. Very sad.

[Seniora]

Update: My erstwhile internet companion is still at it! Referring to me (in ways only I could understand) on the old forum I used to visit. He's checking up on me at the new one! A friend said, "don't read that stuff; ignore it". I think that, even if I do this, he will find other ways to put me in the picture and get me back into the loop. What's WITH this guy, apart from the fact that he desperately needs to grow up? I'm over 60, for God's sake (and he knows it). How can I be a threat to the human race?

[jns]

Continue to ignore him and sooner or later he will get the idea. If he is single minded it could take some time.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

One side of him misses the connection but then the arguements a feel of "good be gone", and he wins to then no one eise is talking to me I'll try again..

You mean this statement? Sorry firstly that I haven't answered, my life is changing for the better and exciting new things are happening I haven't been able to be here as much... I think I typed that fast I see a spelling error there I am saying that he reaches because he likes to talk to you, then he wins if you do, so he walks haha, then same thing occurs again and again...

This person is self for the self... You attract them because you believe in 1) helping people and 2) need a connection of stimulating conversation, it's a catch 22, but when someone shoes "wierdness?" for a better word someone else can state, then you cut connections in my opinion.

What has been going on since? I gather you didn't reply as I hadn't, WC is also concentrating on some things she needs at the moment and may not reply to this thread for now..

[Seniora]

Thanks so much for that CW, and I am very thrilled to hear about the exciting things happening in your life. Very good luck to you. Update. My internet companion has come across to the new forum and is actively stalking me but comments in a very rude manner about my general discussions on music. He became very angry when I ignored him recently and things have escalated. I told him to leave me alone, get a life and to stop referring to me all the time. He didnt reply to this but, knowing him, it would have cut very deep. I accused him of being a mysogynist, and I think I am right about this. After 16 months he still cannot let this go, but also cannot move further through apology or getting closer. I suggested to him in my last message, "You need to address your ambivalent feelings for me before moving on - love and hate are both sides of the same coin, and people will think you have a crush on me, or something equally fanciful, if you continue with your obsession". He briefly replied, "excellent. lots of kisses" and that's all!! Im the one in control of this situation and have forbidden him to contact me again, but I notice he is still logging on an checking me out. I think he is a lonely man with a personality disorder - I know, you´ve got to have a personality to have a personality disorder (boom boom) - but I feel sorry for him. I think he really thinks he cares about me and that's sad, because he knows I am very formidable and he admires the way I think and write and have control of my life, also feels jealousy with this too, as insecure people often do. So, what more CAN I do? Thank you both again so very much for your compassionate comments.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I am not sure if he cares about you or it's an obession , thank you for your wishes I am about to open a new office, cross your fingers for me

There may be jealousy that you know whom you are perhaps he wants to be you?

If I were you, don't feel sorry I know more than ANYONE a heart is full of help yet it will get burnt by things beyond your control, report him, he is and I am sorry stalking you..

This is not this time a battle you can win you can not change him better in understanding he is finding you, stalking you...

Be safe

[Seniora]

You are spot on - Narcissists don't HAVE feelings, from my reading of the literature. Those of us who DO have feelings have compassion and that should never change. I have a couple of people onside on the Forum and they know about this person and are watching out in case he pounces again. There are those of us who are judged by the quality and content of our contributions, then there are others out for themselves who want attention. Yes, you are correct: he is jealous of me because I have knowledge, experience, a good life, loving husband, overseas sojourn and the respect of others. He tried to tamper with that by posting negative comments, like "I usually don't post on this forum but I couldn't resist the chance because of the pseudo-intellectual cant which is being written here". Directed solely at me!! The more he 'hates' me the more I know I'm getting up his nose (and it's very, very easy to do). I write more and more clever things deliberately to send him into a tailspin. Over on the other site he's wasting time with a bunch of (I"m sure) gay men who have no life - and they talk about absolutely nothing!! It's sad but, as I said, he must come to terms with his ambivalences and move on!! Good luck with the new office. Let us know how it's all going!

[Seniora]

Update: He has just posted on the main forum in response to some of my comments, saying also that he's leaving and has nothing further to say, because "my lawyer (me!) has advised me not to become involved in this forum". Thank God he's leaving, though it remains to be seen if it's really true. (He has promised this before elsewhere and not left!) It's so typical of him to make a theatrical flourish about it. Anyway, that may be the end of it now. And, in a way I don't understand, I know I'll miss him!! My heart feels strangely heavy. It shows that I did become emotionally involved and even now he's manipulating me!!

Thanks to everyone for your comments.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

These people do have a form of power as they weave their destructional web to hold you close so to speak until something drops and a different light is shed, then they start to crumble and this is what I think has occured with him..The leaving is an attempt for "sympathy", to see if anyone suggests that he doesn't go, it's also meant to make you go 'no, stay'...

I doubt he will totally go away, he may stay in the background and read and read, I could almost bet it, if you were to continue writing little things to bait as you put it, you may find he pops back in lols...

You should really be feeling releaved not have a heavy heart... That is reserved for someone whom also has some form of compassion, not someone who has none..

Thanks for the well wishes, it's exciting - I'll be stuck in-between two other Real Estate Franchise Companies, Brocks you have probably heard of, as you are driving up one of our main roads, with barely a house between us, only I am not a Franchise and my colours are bright yellow and they will be screaming 1.3% you're worth it - lols.. This is below what they will do as they are a Franchise... Should be an interesting 12 months ..

Stay safe.

[Seniora]

You say you are from Australia? I don't know the franchise, Brocks, of which you speak, but very good luck with all of that! The market is just dreadful at the moment, I'm told, and this is bad because we want to downsize upon our return from Vienna, in 2012. Also the share market is a basket case, but if I think about this I'll go mad.

I want to know how you know so much about internet Trolls, like the experience I've had?! This morning he removed an offensive post, which revealed him to be a complete mysogynist!! All things I had already identified and accused him of, which I'm proud of. He sent me a private message late last night, "This is not our time. Perhaps in the future we can communicate again", bla bla and such like. He can take no responsibility, but he doesn't realize it really IS finished between us. This will take time for a super egotistical mysogynist to realize. But why, in 18 months, he singled me out - strong and opinionated to the max - I'll never know, except perhaps he saw me as a 'role model' and his intellectual equal (as if THAT could ever be!!). Thanks again, CW.