[Seniora]

PS: CW - I must stress that I finished this friendship with the internet Troll last May, with very harsh words, and I never never gave him the slightest hint he existed. He never ceased to refer to me in his posts, as he often read mine about my travels all over Europe and musical experiences. This time, I extended this edict: no, we will not continue, please do not refer to me, try to contact me or read my posts. He has had not one grain of encouragement from me in 4 months and still he has persisted. Actually, he flew into his rage PRECISELY BECAUSE I have continued to ignore him: just like a child!

Just wanted to clarify that, so you wouldn't think I'm a fraud!!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Ahhh rejection Oh I don't think you are a fraud, remember I've been a bit awall Catching up on all threads I am/was involved in is not easy

So he hates the fact of rejection and is obsessed... Stalker like...

Ahhh I dislike those types, I have one at present because my face appears in Ads for Real Estate, he rings from a private number, I ignore them...He keeps ringing.

I so know that feeling...

At least for you it's the Internet, not in the real world so you are safe...

[Seniora]

Well, it's a bit different to your "stalker". This man and I had an ongoing internet friendship and spoke regularly on Skype, by voice and instant messaging - plus emails and forum interactions - over a period of 15 months. There are some lonely, weird people old there. Today in Vienna I helped a blind man across the street and onto a bus. This made me feel good and made me realize that being a compassionate person sometimes makes you fair game for people with insecurities and inadequacies. Thanks for the comments. Cheers!

[Seniora]

I have learned more information about my internet companion since posting these comments. He is truly mentally ill and unstable. All the reading I've done about these types of people suggests they have ready 'victims'. I don't see myself in this category as I'm strong and always stood up to him. But one thing caught my attention. "Experts" say that we willingly accept victim-hood if we enter into anything with these troubled people. How can we know at the beginning, and I always give people the benefit of the doubt. One thing I've learned about myself through this experience is that I have compassion for mentally ill people and that, no matter what, you cannot get down to their level and engage as they do. These people "win" if they can get you to do that. Even when I walked away and ignored this man he did everything he could to get my attention - it wasn't a good look. I realize now he wanted me closer to him so he could just hit me harder. Imagine, a man 10 years my junior being intimidated by somebody's grandmother, and over 60, through the power of her words and thinking skills - kinda flattering somehow!!! So, despite the site I was contributing to being populated with intelligent, mostly tertiary-educated people, there are still disturbed people who lurk in every single domain of the internet. I learned my lesson well. And I know that he's a very unhappy soul who envied everything about my life. He recently wrote on the internet about his partner and issues of population in general:
"Friends said why didn't you just f.......her instead of having more children". Under what circumstances could anyone say that about their loved one??!! I think he's violent!! (PS: This man has "friends"!!!???)

[CHANDLERS WISH]

The Internet is filled with sick people, what they do to others is appauling and usually to destroy their persona...their beliefs in the good in life....Their aim and goal.

I doubt that even with friends, he will or can hurt you, you've protected yourself well, although I would stop typing to wind him up, to be safe.

It was others on that Forum from what I can ascertain from your post that suggested he should have just had sex with a condom instead of having children....

I walk away from people that show any form of being un-stable, which you have, just don't feed him....

[Seniora]

Yes, I know he CLAIMS others made the comment to him about having sex with his wife but he repeated that appalling comment on a classical music forum!! I have walked away from him, and wrote him an email telling him to stop stalking me, being obsessed, etc. etc. Amazingly he took notice of me and withdrew almost immediately!! I'm sad, though, that his only life is living on the internet. He obviously doesn't know the love and care of friendship!! Thanks for your observations.

[jns]

People can have tremendous mental problems and still be brilliant. I bought and read a book about Dr. William Chester Minor and the making of the Oxford English Dictionary that was exactly that case. He was found insane after committing murder and confined to Brooadmoor Hospital.

[Seniora]

Oh, God, a murderer!! I am aware that clever people can be very disturbed. Yes, sadly this is the case. I had a friend with several university degrees who was Borderline and the agent of her own misery. Didn't stop me liking her or feeling compassionate about her plight. Cheers!

[Seniora]

A little update after all this time, in case anybody is interested. My internet companion is still on the scene - intermittently - and has trusted me enough to provide information about his early family life (which, I guess, is meant to explain a bit to me about his behaviour?). His mother humiliated his father frequently in front of the family, and he just lay down and took it. She was hard and cruel with him and there was some aggression and violence in the relationship. My 'friend' said to me, "from an early age I made sure nobody would ever treat me like that". Of course, when one makes a bold statement like that and locks into it this can be a straight-jacket for future relationships. He is stubborn and troubled and I've tried my very best to help, but cannot. In the meantime, I enjoy the 'company' of 3 other people throughout the world who are intelligent and interesting and share my love of music and the arts. It's nice to know there ARE good people out there who are willing to listen and share. But I still miss my troubled 'friend' - but have had to ignore him because of his aggressive language towards me. Heaven help the people who live in flesh and blood relationships with these kinds of people. Cheers!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You can't save the World and those with severe baggage who don't jump over those hurdles you can't save either, as obviously his aggressive language is telling you.

I am a believer of staying and keeping with positive.

If someone speaks to you in such a tone and puts you down? Swears at you, never says sorry are they a positive influence in your life, real? Or is there something hidden and false..