[heatherswar]

I have a question for both guys and girls. Is it wrong or odd that I get upset that my fiance looks at pictures of naked woman, breasts, porn etc. I feel like I have a right to be upset but he doesn't get it. I just want to know if I am wrong or if I am normal!!!

[sourpuss]

Does it affect your sex life? Does he compliment you? Is he attracted to you?

[heatherswar]

Yes to all of the above.

[sourpuss]

If it's affecting your sex life, then it's a problem. Is he aware it's affecting your sex life?

[heatherswar]

Sorry. I Mean no it doesn't affect our sex life that I can tell and yes to the other 2 questions.

[sourpuss]

Ah ok. Well, if you know he loves you and is attracted to you and you have a good sex life then it doesn't seem to be a huge problem. But if it makes you feel bad and you've told him that, and he dismisses something that he does that makes you feel bad, that's a problem.

[heatherswar]

Okay. He has stopped watching porn but I found images he has looked at on his phone. It bothers me but at the same time it doesn't.

[Hopeless Dork]

Thing is my dear sweet heather, he isn't going to stop doing anything he doesn't want to stop doing. You would think, because you... would not do something that hurt your boyfriends feelings that he would reciprocate that -- but unfortunately.. when it comes to porn... guys feel entitled to look at whatever they want. You however... are not entitled to the same cake and eat it too mentality.

Men like to look, if they get involved in a relationship... they still get to look "but i'm just looking , i'm not touching, nananabooboo". Women like to feel special, to get attention to feel wanted, if they get involved in a relationship... they are not 'allowed' to get attention from other men "hey thats cheating lady!!"

Ask your boyfriend if he'd mind if you let other men look at pics of you the way he looks at pics of other women... i'm betting he would not approve. Its such a double standard.

As long as it isn't affecting your sex life, his attention on you and as long as he handles it respectfully then I don't think its worth leaving him over or causing too m uch fight over because all the will result is he will promise to stop... and you will continue to occasionally see the obvious that he hasn't. But if he isn't making you feel wanted AND is looking at other pics of chicks.. then you have a problem that needs to be addressed with him.

[stressed]

Well, I used to believe that "as long as it doesn't affect the couple's sex life, porn is okay". But after some thought on it, I don't see why one has to tolerate something that bothers her over any reason. If it bothers you and you feel bad about it I don't see why you should be the one accepting it. It would equally "bother" him to quit porn, wouldn't it? But which one would make more sense? Asking the one who causes the hurt to quit or the other to stop feeling bad about it and ignore it? Attention to porn can be solved in a number of ways, he can masturbate without porn, without hurting you. But you cannot stop feeling bad about it no matter what we tell you or what he tells you. You will still feel bad about it. I don't like the idea of accepting something to this degree over something unfounded and unnecessary. If you feel bad about it, tell him. It's not about what's normal or not, it's about how you feel, because you are involved with this man. In our days "normal" is subjective so you have to fight for your own self with your own arguments and not try to base it on "what is socially accepted" because you won't find an answer there. You have a say in this too.

[4all2c]

okay. It bothers you. He wont change. it may after a decade or so. Are you ready for that possibility. If it bothers you that much you may have to leave just so that you can find someone who doesn't do that. If you love him and know that he loves you wven with this little idiosyncisity then be happy with that decision. Either way, you are the one that needs to be happy. Try this, get a pic of a naked boy on your phone. make sure he sees it. If he reacts in a negative way, you need to leave him, the relationship is one sided. If he reacts in a positive way, you are in a 2 sided relationship....Good luck