[Ashlee T.]

Ahh...come on Bob, no one hates you. Those are very harsh words. Confused by your contradictions, or miscommunications? Yes... but that doesn't equal hate. You've had a variety of women AND men respond to you on here....and NONE of us are clear on what it is you're seeking. You're making this about your religion and your desire to remain celibate, but it has really nothing to do with that. There are other people on this site who are abstaining from sex until marriage.

We are just trying to understand. You say one thing, then you say another, then you say something else. Maybe you don't want advice, maybe you just want to document what's going on in your pursuit of women and if that's the case, that's awesome and totally fine but you can start a blog on your profile page to do that. If you post on a forum where others post to get advice, support, etc....you will get responses. And if your responses arent clear, we will ask questions.

Pretzel (a man) asked you in bold letters to tell us "What do you want?". You did not answer.

You may not like the words, but when you pursue a woman you KNOW you don't want a relationship with, and you KNOW you're not going to have sex with and you make her think you're interested in her so that she will "cuddle" you and feed your ego....... then you drop her like yesterdays trash after making her feel like she's been played like monopoly, then YES, you are treating a woman as an object, as something with no feelings......and you are placing your desire to get your ego stroked far above your compassion for others. And what WE are saying to you is that being a Christian man means walking the talk, it means more than abstaining from sex. So why do something to stay in Gods good graces, then turn around and behave like your holy poop doesn't stink and play with girls like games? I'd say one behavior counteracts the other. One may be very Christian-like, but the other is quite the opposite.


So try to read what people are saying to you and understand that we are reading YOUR words. And please....stop making it about religion like you're some persecuted man for wanting to abstain from sex until marriage. That's bogus and not at all what any of this is about....and you know it. If you want to find Miss Right, if you want to fall in love and stay in love, then you need to work on understanding women and work on your view of what women truly are about because it seems you are waaaay off base.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Chandler,

let's just imagine that all your criticisms were 100% on target. That post probably took an hour to write. Is it really prudent to spend an hour of your time criticizing someone on the internet and someone whose case you know so little about.

Bob, Fallen 1 is correct, took me minutes however, let's imagine my observation if you will, was 100% on target, then read the last paragraph, of my opinion on how to change it...After all, what's the point in seeing deeply into something that you "want" to help, and not have an ending to what you write?

There is no criticism, and no one hates you, if anything as women we want to guide you... There is a big difference.

If I know little about you, and you don't have to answer this, then you wouldn't have written 100% on target as a possibility. Our mind is a powerful thing and your in my opinion, fighting against your own mind of what you want now and what you want in the future, that's a hard battle to have with ones self...

Further down in replies, a statement was made " your a virgin" to which you replied, "wrong" .... Can you clarify what you mean by "wrong" or confirm the next sentence for the readers ... it sounds to me that you view virginity (which is correct) as in parts, a part virgin, non participant in sexual intercourse but not a virgin in total, as a lady has touched you there, via her hands/mouth or both....

You have to make it very clear with any woman you are "interested in" that you are not ready for a relationship, if you are purely wanting affection, short term of any description... That is the moralistic thing to do and at the worse scenario, she was told up-front not to get her hopes up...

But, you also have to in my opinion open your soul further, you state you volunteer, you therefore have a soul, open it up and see all the possibilities out there and the people, inside, including the next lady you meet, as I said, their passions, dreams, intelligence...

It's such a mixture is it not? This World and those in it, don't believe she's hard to find, you just have to change the way you view things and yes, that's my opinion.

CW

[bob_smith]

Further down in replies, a statement was made " your a virgin" to which you replied, "wrong" .... Can you clarify what you mean by "wrong" or confirm the next sentence for the readers .

If I said i've been celibate for 10 years, then that obviously means I did it 10 years ago.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Focusing on " wanting to wait till married"

Bob, "falling hard for my roommate". Pretzel's question.... What do you want?

If you were able to put together a woman, in every way, physically, mentally, nationality, hobbies, everything what would she be like?

[Allie602]

I am always hopeful when some self identified Christian pipes in, I hope they have negotiated life's problems guided by devine thoughtfulness, an inspiration to the rest of us troubled souls. But I find that I'd rather deal with an aithest any day than a Christian. When Christian's are doing evil, they invariably have a dodge to explain why they are right and everyone else is wrong. It's a waste of time to point out their inhumanity, lack of empathy and compassion, evil, emptiness, and most of all hypocrisy. The hypocrisy is astounding, the have every outward sign of goodness and purity, helping out in New Orleans, for instance ( of course we know that Muslims, Jews, LDS and humanist, athiest and just plain old good people who have not seen the inside of a church or temple or read a bible in years, did exactly the same). But when a Christian has a base desire they indulge in it because no one is perfect and God will forgive them. If they really believe in a just God they would know that God is not a fool and know their hearts and minds. O thou hypocrite.