[Ashlee T.]

Maybe around 37 I will think about marrying someone I'm less than excited about

Am I reading this right Bob? If so, doesn't this contradict everything you've said previously regarding your ideas about love and marriage?

But I admit that much of my success is because women just aren't pushy and forceful. If my roommate for example really wanted to seduce me, it probably would not take that much effort.

Hmm. So as I said, it's not really about religion for you. I'm sorry to be so bold, but I think the religion thing is a cover (I'm not saying you're not religious, but I believe you're using it as an excuse), when really, all it would take is a woman to seduce you.

And no, not all women are only interested in seducing men with money and power. That's quite a generalization for someone as intelligent as yourself to make. Just because they're not seducing YOU, doesn't mean they're not seducing anyone else without money and power.

This isn't a puppet game Bob....and you're not the puppet Master. You'll come to a point in your life when you realize YOU have held yourself back from truly living.

[bob_smith]

Chandler,

let's just imagine that all your criticisms were 100% on target. That post probably took an hour to write. Is it really prudent to spend an hour of your time criticizing someone on the internet and someone whose case you know so little about.

[bob_smith]

This really is gulling and creepy.

I find this statement interesting, you had a relationship with a woman because you were curious about what a Jordanian woman was like. Did I read that right from a Christian man. Did she know you were just dabbling because your were curious about her like an object with no feelings?

Right, wanting to get to know someone, is treating them like an object.

If you were a true believer you would not be able to use anyone.

What you're saying is: if you believe you will be perfect.

What mental gymnastics does it take for a righteous, virtuous person like yourself, to behave in so callous fashion towards any woman who incites your lust.

What is so callous about being friends with a woman?

I can't imagine from you post what the principals are that drive your celibacy. You don't seem to have a moral code.

If I don't have a moral code, then why did I volunteer for four months in New Orleans cleaning up destroyed houses?

Why don't you leave this girl alone she is not interested in you.

Hello, that is exactly what I'm doing right now.

[bob_smith]

Ok, it's pretty obvious that I'm hated in this forum. So I will leave. After all what could be more disgusting to women than a man who struggles to give up pre-martial sex because he's interested in living a good married life.

[Fallen1]

First let me throw a reminder out to everyone that we need to keep all of our responses/opinions civil.

Also we need to keep in mind that when we read a person's response in black and white we do not always see the intent and/or emotion it was written with. Just because you may take a response as though it was made in a derogatory manner does not always mean that was the intention of the writer.

Chandler,

let's just imagine that all your criticisms were 100% on target. That post probably took an hour to write. Is it really prudent to spend an hour of your time criticizing someone on the internet and someone whose case you know so little about.

I think if you took the time to get to know CW by reading her responses to other members you would see that she is a very insightful and a well respected member here. In just about every case she is spot on with her ideas and opinions. I would also be willing to bet that her long thought out response didn't take an hour to write but was written within minutes.


Carry on ..........

[Fallen1]

Ok, it's pretty obvious that I'm hated in this forum. So I will leave. After all what could be more disgusting to women than a man who struggles to give up pre-martial sex because he's interested in living a good married life.

Bob, don't give up so easily. Stay around and take the time to answer some of the questions other members have here. Just because they don't understand and get where you are coming from doesn't mean you are not welcomed to be here.

[respectstepmoms]

Im just going to jump in here onthis I have read the beginning and the end of the post: I too am kind of unclear on exactly what advice you are seeking but I too have a huge respect when it comes to intimacy that there should be a lot of love and meaning and not an act. I further think you should respect the one that your allowing to give you pleasure in a form that you would not be objective to offer the same thing in return. It does sound as if you feel you allow yourself to get to a point of erousement or loneliness that you accept pleasures from women that care or have interest for you just for the act without any intent of follow through. I will also say that sex is sex no matter how you want to describe it... You sound as if you have a moral issue within yourself that you want to be able to tell the woman you marry that you are still a virgin and that you saved yourself for a sense of respect. But really all you will be able to offer is to say that you have not had penetration, Am I right? As far as the roommate I agree if she is interested in you then you should not be involved with her sexually and send her signals that you may want to be with her for that is unmoral and a very selfish act but if you want to be very honest and tell her you want to have sex with her but thats all your interested in and she knows your intentions and has no problem with it. Then I would say its fare game. Good luck to you and search within yourself to see really why your holding this value of celebasy. You know to lust over another is a sexual act in the bible....

[bob_smith]

you accept pleasures from women that care or have interest for you just for the act without any intent of follow through.

Only did that once, besides she liked it, she still emails me every six months and when i call her she's happy to hear from me. The other times when I flirted I did it because I couldn't resist. there's a difference.

you are still a virgin

wrong.

if you want to be very honest and tell her you want to have sex with her but thats all your interested in and she knows your intentions and has no problem with it.

I would never humiliate someone like that. I would never say: I'm not interested in you as a person only as a sex-object. Those words are just way too embarrassing. If guys and girls do that, then they have to come to an unspoken understanding.

[respectstepmoms]

No thats what I am saying dont just assume she understands the arrangement it sounds like from your reply that she cares for you and im sure she would not be seeking intimacy with you if you were honest with her and let her know that you had noo plans of a future with her, just attraction. If your honest then I dont think you will feel regret if you were with her. Religiously you should be honest and give her or any woman the choice of knowing what she is getting into. Many women and men do have sex now before marriage although they are not doing it for a act or without feelings to move forward, so when you commit to that person with intimacy it becomes very personal to the point that feeling grow a lot deeper. Respect not only your feeling but the one you are involving and to do that never Assume the other party knows what you are thinking.

[BabyGirl]

Ok, it's pretty obvious that I'm hated in this forum. So I will leave. After all what could be more disgusting to women than a man who struggles to give up pre-martial sex because he's interested in living a good married life.

You are not hated here, we are just asking for some Clarity.
Maybe a bit of sectioning will help us.

You have and are trying to stay a "Virgin " as far as your religion deems ?

Or are you trying to NOT be a " User of Women for just the sex ?"

If you have penetrated or received oral sex or given oral sex, you have had sex. Does your religion allow all types of sex, except for your Penis entering a Vagina or Anus ?

If you are truly seeking help and support.. Stay and listen ( read).. We are not the woman that is turning you on.. We are not the woman who you are so desparately wanting to avoid having sex with , but seem to WANT so badly. We ARE the women that have been Women all our lives, Some younger , Some Older & I'd say almost ALL of us have had more than 1 relationship or marriage. And I'm sure our male members are right here along with is in that experiance !!


So, to comment on some of your statements..
1) You are good looking .. Ok, but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some like dark haired or dark skin,light hair or light skin, bald, thin, chubby, tall short .. or mixed of some or all of the above.

2) You used to be wealthy, but never showed it ? Are you talking in Money or in Friends or Love and Family ?
Because to me Wealth is not a Car, Home,Clothes.. It is in Love from Others.. You will only realise how wealthy you are when, the count of people that cry when you pass or attend your Funeral is in.. But that is something YOU will never know ! But others will.

3) You had a woman you almost loved and one you didn't love to much and from what I have read, 1 who you broke up with and got back together with 10 times ?

That to me is Reverse " Penis Tease" !!! Please read up on that or maybe talk with a Male friend about it.. You Know , the guys or gals that dress up and know they are " Hot " and good looking and go see how many people they can Turn on & the get a few kisses or Rubs or " Oral " or just close to it .. And WHAM .. Turn off the Switch & say NO , I'm not that kind ..

The last part *sigh * your Quote..
After all what could be more disgusting to women than a man who struggles to give up pre-martial sex because he's interested in living a good married life.




WOW !!

If you are Interested in being as close to a Your religion " Virgin" as possible, you really should look into your faiths " Dating " sites or there " Connections" sites. Your religion (Ii'm Sure ) has it's own connection sites for people of the same Mindset or Rules of behavior to be Saved and Save yourself as you . Just " Google it ".. Be honest, and Join..

Put in an Add like this.

" Almost Virgin, Good looking, Potential to be Wealthy ( again ) seeking woman that is almost same, but willing to experiment to a point.

Must be intelectual, multi lingual or new language I may wish enjoy or be friends with while learning to desire and want you .. Germans may apply , but I already understand what you say when you may cuss or discuss. Jordanians and other Arab nations and religions are welcomed.

It is a Tease & Leave game here. Make sure to ADD in your preference of Height, Weight, body Size, Experiance of Sexual relationships..

Put in one of your best photo's and Let the Games begin..