[Guest]

Thanks. Behind all my neurosis there's a very happy man that's found "the one". I will continue to work at this. I have to. I just hope it doesn't beat me.

[Ashlee T.]

I was thinking about you last night as I laid down to sleep. And some of what you're dealing with sounds a lot like anxiety manifesting itself into something. While I don't recommend running to the dr and getting put on anti-anxiety or anti-depressant meds.........there are over the counter things you could try and see if helps relieve some of the anxiety that seems to be manifesting in your mind. SAM-E is one you can google and find out some info about, you can buy it at walmart. Valerian Root is another I use now and then. Also, make sure you're getting plenty vitamin B on a daily basis. It's the number 1 stress fighting vitamin. I can tell quite a drastic difference in my energy and stress levels when I'm not taking my daily dose.

My own voice in my own head, is often my own worst enemy. So I do understand. The voice is fear based. Don't focus on the fear, but try to determine what is causing the fear so you can beat it. And in the meantime, continue counseling and consider checking into something like Sam-E.

[Guest]

Your kindness is overwhelming. Thank you so much.

[Texinator]

With great advice like that, I reckon Beautiful Disaster needs to drop the second part of her username.

[Ashlee T.]

With great advice like that, I reckon Beautiful Disaster needs to drop the second part of her username.

*blush*

[Guest]

First of all, if you give up on this now due to your insecurities then you don't have many chances to make it better in your next relationship, when the next woman will have had even more than 3 sexual partners. What if all of those won't look anything like you then? Will you leave again?

Have you ever been jealous of your ex wife? You seem like someone who's never been jealous before. As if you were never worried about your ex-wife looking at another man or wanting someone else. This is both good and bad, as having been jealous at some point in the past would give you the experience to handle this now.

She may have had 2 sexual partners more than you've had, but you are the one with the most long-term relationship experience. You were with the same woman for 10+ years, her longest relationship was 1 year. Having more sexual partners doesn't immediately make her 100 times more sexually experienced than you. I don't know how much sex you had with your ex, but I'm quite sure you've had more sex than she's had.

Her ex'es may look different but that doesn't mean that she "makes an exception" by being with you. There isn't only one "right" type of man/woman for each person. Also, one doesn't start a relationship based on the appearance only. It is wrong to think that she got in those relationships just because they were tall or because of their appearance, nobody does that. Some people say to friends "I prefer blondes" or "I prefer masculine guys" but when it comes down to relationships this goes out the window. Your girlfriend didn't scan and compare your looks to her ex'es, she decided to be with you for the way you look and for the man you are.

She wouldn't say she wasn't sexually satisfied if she was, she has nothing to gain by lying about this. If she was satisfied by them she simply wouldn't say anything to you about it, as it would be pointless. But the fact she says so it's something you have to keep in mind. If anything, you must try to see it like "I'm better for her than those tall guys".

Also, I don't see why you have to shake the guys' hand for? Does she still have contact with them? Since they bother you so much you don't have to greet them or anything, it's your right to want nothing to do with them. They're supposed to stay in the past, not hang around for a coffee with you two. I hope she can understand this and not make it any worse for you by talking to them given the chance.

None of this is "to make you feel better", but it's the truth. The problem is that some kind of fear/panic prevents you from accepting the truth and it's not the fear of losing her, it's some deeper fear you have to explore and find by yourself. Experience is irrelevant here, either of relationships or sexual. When you are crazy about someone as you are about her you can't let experience get in the way, you give all you've got and only expect the other to do the same.

You worry about her ex'es because you feel inadequate in some way, otherwise you wouldn't pay attention to their looks. Find out why and in what way.

We weren't hanging around him. Believe it or not, right after I had questioned her about this guy, we went for lunch. Within seconds of sitting down, her balding, football playing, 250 lb ex walks in. What are the chances? So they exchanged uncomfortable pleasantries and at the end, I was forced to say hello with a handshake. Pretty ****ty situation.

[Guest]

Has anyone here dealt with this and won? I'm looking for a little inspiration. Aside, of course from the reality checks - which, by the way, have been very helpful.

[JustHormonious]

newdewd,

Believe it or not, right after I had questioned her about this guy, we went for lunch.

Why are you questioning her? She has moved on for a reason. Let it go! Re-read the posts, how much more inspiration do you need? I'm not trying to be rude in any way, but this insecurity is not flattering from a woman's perspective. You are "self-sabotaging" this relationship and it has nothing to do with her past. It has everything to do with yours.

You have stated that this is your first "adult relationship", this is not the case. Your first adult relationship was your marriage. I am not a doctor, but I think the issue you have with "size" be it, penis size or height, is the magnitude of what you have lost. Don't make this woman pay for the sins of your first wife.

So they exchanged uncomfortable pleasantries and at the end, I was forced to say hello with a handshake. Pretty ****ty situation.

Things like this will happen occasionally, again not her fault.

Hopefully this will help:

My first husband was 6'2, 240lbs. and had a 11" penis... how do I know... because I measured it when I was 17 years old. He too was a football player... go figure. He had no heart, the big penis kept him in trouble. I had to say goodbye..

2nd Husband: 5'8, 165lbs and if I had to guess 7-8" penis...never felt the need to measure. Happily married almost 20 years, he has a HUGE HEART! This is what every woman wants...

Only you know the answer, but if I had to guess, your afraid of being hurt again, so you are not going to give her the chance... Size has nothing to do with this!

[Guest]

newdewd,



Why are you questioning her? She has moved on for a reason. Let it go! Re-read the posts, how much more inspiration do you need? I'm not trying to be rude in any way, but this insecurity is not flattering from a woman's perspective. You are "self-sabotaging" this relationship and it has nothing to do with her past. It has everything to do with yours.

You have stated that this is your first "adult relationship", this is not the case. Your first adult relationship was your marriage. I am not a doctor, but I think the issue you have with "size" be it, penis size or height, is the magnitude of what you have lost. Don't make this woman pay for the sins of your first wife.



Things like this will happen occasionally, again not her fault.

Hopefully this will help:

My first husband was 6'2, 240lbs. and had a 11" penis... how do I know... because I measured it when I was 17 years old. He too was a football player... go figure. He had no heart, the big penis kept him in trouble. I had to say goodbye..

2nd Husband: 5'8, 165lbs and if I had to guess 7-8" penis...never felt the need to measure. Happily married almost 20 years, he has a HUGE HEART! This is what every woman wants...

Only you know the answer, but if I had to guess, your afraid of being hurt again, so you are not going to give her the chance... Size has nothing to do with this!

Well, an 11 inch willy would put him in the top 1% in the world, so bravo to him. Sure, I've thought and posted about that. Just last week, in fact, but I guess that's just part of my issue. Man. I don't even know how to respond to what you wrote. I understand your frustration with my inability to deal. So, thanks for your two cents.

[Texinator]

There'll always be someone out there compared to whom you don't "measure up," whether it's in penis size, body size, or even brain or wallet size. So you aren't the biggest guy she could date in terms of anatomy. Are you the smartest or the richest guy she could date? Nope.

But guess what, bud, she's not looking for anyone with a bigger anything. She's with you, because she likes you for you.