[I_Am_A_Man]

lol, really? a card would be less clingy than a text? I guess I am making excuses. I have decided that a 2 week period is fair for her to have enough time and for me to decide that it is finished. I have already set up a date for this weekend and am meeting a girl for drinks tonight. I am living as though we are done and if she comes back I may reconsider things.

I guess I felt that since I helped her get the job I would congratulate her, but I guess that's clingy...!

[I_Am_A_Man]

Seeker, I need to hire you as my personal bodyguard so you can be there for me when I start screwing up! this is all relatively new to me ( the whole cutting off contact thing) so I am definitely in unfamiliar territory.

You have been great in helping me out and I truly appreciate it.

[I_Am_A_Man]

Still haven't spoken and I have deleted her number from my phone and have not been looking at her on Facebook for the past few days. I went for drinks with a new hottie last night and had a great time.

If my gf doesn't want to even give me the opportunity to speak to her, she doesn't deserve my attention. I have officially moved on. If she contacts me, I will be sure and let you know, but I know I will not be pursuing more than just a friendship with her.

[BabyGirl]

Good for you, for moving on.
Evidently the relationship wasn't that strong in the first place, at least not on both sides. it is best it is over now, than to be deeper involved and find out your are not compatible later on down the road, where the hurt would be deeper.

Now all you need to do is stop saying Girlfriend and start saying Ex .. lol
Oh and learn your lesson from this.. Do not get so intoxicated that you do something that you may have to apologize for later.

Start out any new relationship as a gentle, caring, respectful and Sober man.
Good Luck.. And be proud that even though you made a mistake, you owned up to it, apologized and tried to correct it. That is more than many people are willing to do.

[I_Am_A_Man]

Thanks for the kind support, babygirl.

Now I have a new issue. Dont worry, I still have not contacted my ex but I did have sex with another woman I have known for a couple years. There was always sexual tension between us and for whatever reason, the opportunities were always interrupted so nothing ever happened...Until last night. She was in town for a few days and we hung out and had sex. Great sex, but sex that ended up doing nothing for me. This is not a girl I want a relationship with and she knows it so I'm cool with that but I thought that having sex with someone else would help me move on from my ex-gf quicker but that is not the case. I STILL want my ex!!! What the is wrong with me? Usually this has worked in the past, but for this one it did not work! I can't ignore these feelings for her but I also do not want to contact her - I WANT TO MOVE ON!!! I guess I am at a total loss at this point. At least I deleted her # and cant talk to her otherwise I may get the urge to text/call.

I cannot pursue a relationship with this new woman either because she lives in another city and I don't believe in long distance relationships

[Guest]

That's why we're here my friend...to help each other with whatever life throws at us.

I try to see things, consider things and do things based on what I think is productive IF I woke up in your shoes.

Abstain from intimacy IMO until you are COMPLETELY over your ex or SHE HAS CONTACTED YOU and you are down the road a ways in forming a NEW relationship. As I said in a previous post, any relationship you may have with your ex will NOT be the same. IT WILL be different, IF it even gets re-ignited.

I think that your expectations about getting over relationships are too high (too fast) or perhaps this is the first relationship where you were really impacted in this manner.....it's called LOVE.

There is no time frame for getting over the hurt/pain of the end of a relationship. It takes you as long as it takes YOU.

Reconnect with some buddies, have a few beers together and catch up on your friendships.

You don't always have to MAKE life happen...sometimes it's better if you just LET life happen and see where it leads you.

I wish you well my friend.

P.S. I read this and couldn't let it pass by....

If my gf doesn't want to...

She's NOT your GF...she's your EX GF at best (right now).

[I_Am_A_Man]

True, Seeker - she IS my ex.

[Mes T]

Going from one chick to the next like you're just trying out desserts at a cafe is not healthy. If you were never really "into" your ex-girlfriend then that'd be one thing, but you miss her and things kind of ended weird, so... Just take it easy for a while and hang out with your friends. Give yourself some time to forget and move on.

Sounds to me like your ex-girlfriend felt like more of a sex object than anything else. I have a feeling that's what's turned her off. Maybe she liked "fooling around" for the first few weeks but then decided she'd really rather have something a bit more stable and less "HEY HOTTIE LET'S GO TO BED" oriented.

You sound like a very intelligent and nice guy... but like you're a bit on the prowl, wanting to try out different "hotties," which is fine - but be prepared for more situations like you had with your ex... You may run into women who like the sexual attention at first but then end up feeling like they want more.

[I_Am_A_Man]

Yes, MES-T that is very insightful and I haven't thought of it like that. The thing is though, I have explicitly told her how much I actually like her and complimented her on many things other than beauty. I liked the person she was and I thought she knew that through my actions and words, but I suppose that what you say is possible - that she DID feel like a sex object.

I would 100% give it another shot if she came back to me and asked for it. I feel like I have done my due diligence in apologizing and letting her know that I actually like her, now the ball's in her court - whether she felt like a sex object or not, I still did all I could at this point. IF - and that is a big "IF" -she does come back to me to re-initiate this thing, I will be very mindful of not trying to come off as someone just using her for sex, because that's not what I'm about. I'm a firm believer that sex is a big part of the relationship and it NEEDS to be fun and enjoyable (as well as pleasurable) for both parties, not something that feels like a chore.

I value your opinion and it has given me a little more perspective.

Thanks.