[deep_fear]

oh yes and i almost forgot..the most resont one..." You need some one to tech you how to shop like a woman, you shoulnt go to the mall by your self anymore take one of my family members with you next time".....he thinks i dont know how to shop for good clothing..i only pick out bad ones i guess....apart of me thinks its true..but the other part of my dont care how other people dress..i just want to be me...ifthey sell it in the store then its good enouph...

[deep_fear]

I need to learn how to be emotional strong with all this..i see people have alot bigger problems then this, i dont know why im having such a hard time with all this...love is crazy

[jns]

What country are you in?

[deep_fear]

lebanon

[mymirrose]

Did you look at your list? I see the column of pros, the column of cons, but your biggest list is what you see as your faults. You are in a very difficult situation, another country, not knowing the language, etc. You need to list your wonderful qualities, then read the list over and over again until you relaize what a wonderful person you are and that you don't deserve to be treated as any less wonderful than you are. You mentioned how you dress, unless you dressed totally different when you met him and now dress down, remind him that this is the you he fell in love with, why should you change? Remember, YOU ARE WONDERFUL THE WAY YOU ARE, and anything YOU are not happy with, work on changing to make YOU happy. Don't change for someone else, change what you don't like for you.

[deep_fear]

I dress the same as when we met.actualyi tryed dressing up more b/c of his comments...

[deep_fear]

what if i cant find good qualities about my self?...I asked my finacee just for fun what the thinks my good qualities are and he laughed and said i dont have any...he was just jokeing. So im trying to think of things and i just cant..Im going to think more about it tonight..

Thanks

[mymirrose]

What do you like about yourself? Do you have great hair, beautiful eyes, nice feet? lol I know that sounds funny, but you have to start somewhere. Do you like to laugh,do you like to cook or bake? These are all great qualities. You just need to point them out to your self since he isn't going to do it.

[pretzel]

what if i cant find good qualities about my self?...I asked my finacee just for fun what the thinks my good qualities are and he laughed and said i dont have any...he was just jokeing. So im trying to think of things and i just cant..Im going to think more about it tonight..

Thanks

My dear,

I just re-read your post on the Pro's and Con's (and My Cons) and look at it this way,

your list of My Cons, faults if you will, there is not one thing there that is not fixable. You will learn the language, the customs, the way of life there. Once that happens, you will start to fit in, be able to communicate with his family, will become more social and outgoing.

Everything else, escpecially those cons you listed, he is doing, not you. Apologizing after the fact is meaningless as long as he continues to do them. The damage is done by that time and no matter how many times he apologizes after the fact, the fact still remains. If sarcasm and humiliation is his sense of humor, then he really is a bigger (can't say the word) than you may want to admit.

All those Pro's you listed really don't compare when put against the way he treats you.

[mymirrose]

Thanks pretzel, that is what I was trying to say ;p. It sounds like the "my cons" list is parroting what he tells you. I see some wonderful qualities about you already, you very good at writing your feelings, another one, you are empathetic to others. Another, you are open to others opinions, one of the reasons you are on here talking to us. So try to start your list from there. Even not knowing you, I can tell you have many wonderful qualities