[Guest]

I'm losing my Oxytocin, fast- It used to be high and I still love her. It's all changing though, it's becoming more of a pain in the keester than anything else. This is just how I feel, like a kid who got his hand slapped for trying to get into the cookie jar. I'm about ready to make my own dad gum cookies, that way no one can keep my hands out of my own jar.

Love, do you hate to love it or do you love to hate it?

[Guest]

Having IBS, I take the max dose of Lotronex allowed by law. It helps slow the blood flow to the colon and the rest of that region. I take the Cialis to bring blood flow to the front so I can empty my bladder otherwise I feel full all the time and it gets so bad that I can't go and have to be catheterized. Her doctor suggested putting her on Viagra to help with the drive or lack thereof. She isn't interested in it at all-

[Guest]

I guess I'm still feeling left out in the cold....

Compared to where you've been, you should still be smoldering from those kisses.

As for her physician suggesting that she should go on Viagra, he/she is an idiot IMO

Despite Pfizer's best efforts and millions of dollars being spent, there is no "female viagra" and there never will be. Thousands of women have been given Viagra as part of a double blind placebo controlled study and less than 1 in 100 or 1% noted any response, sexual or otherwise, positive or negative. Those given a placebo (sugar pill) noted a much higher rate of response of about 6%.

While men "get it up, get it in, get it on and get it out", each individual woman reacts/responds differently and these are the primary reasons Viagra was relatively easy to create for men and is impossible to create for women.

Keep up the effort(s)!!

[Guest]

Seeker, I'm trying so hard... I truly am. Kisses are wonderful and I love them, but I need more contact than lips only. I am dying for skin on skin contact, I'm literally dying inside for that. I just don't know what else I can do to prove to her that I'm being genuine. Well short of something extremely insane. But that will sure send the wrong message.
I'll just have to keep on keeping on. I cut some wood for Friday evenings campfire. Now, to get it split and ready to burn. That's where I have all my trouble, physical work. It kills me, my chest starts to hurt and my back is a mess, I'm in sheer agony after I'm finished. My 11 year old son, bless his heart, he thinks he can run a chainsaw. I used to log as a side job many years ago. Did the same thing as the Ax Men. My old body is just shot. I walk like Duane, the dad who owns Ryygard Logging. As a matter of fact, my old body is the equalivent of a 65 yr old man. Been hard on it for sure, play hard, drink hard, smoke hard, work hard and my hard on is killing me! Ya just gotta laugh at that one... My stupid sense of humor, what can I say-

[Texinator]

So all the body parts you want to use don't work right, and the one that works too right, you don't get to use, huh?

[Texinator]

...and that smiley seems too cheerful for the question, but it's the only wink smiley they have, so...

[Guest]

Tex you hit the woodpecker squarely on the head! Kind of like, well I'm too old to cut the mustard, but I can still lick the jar. I have one working body part and it's the one that gets the least attention... well unless I get to looking on my iPhone-
Yep, you guessed it internet porn, ah, that lovely FAKE stuff that gets us married guys through the lean times of no kitty cat-
Porno's and Cheetos, "HEY DOC, is this a normal color for Mr. Happy!" I don't dream about those women, I dream about my wife. No she doesn't know about that until she reads this- Oh well, that might jog the old flame?? I doubt it too, I just mess everything up- I'd bet money if the roles were reversed and she was as wet as a well in the spring, I'd have to change my ways Pronto! There wouldn't be any sympathy for me- No- Aww, honey let me do this or that for you. Can I give you oral sex to help. What book can I read to help understand you better. Heck No, I'd just be out there on my own. The more I think about it, I just get mad anymore. I'll give her a few months and when she's ready, I'll just shut her down. You have no idea how much I'd like to do that! Nice guys always get the raw deal, why? I'm trying hard, but I'd bet my efforts will be for nothing. Might as well start working on my dog house now. This feels like I'm peeing up a rope, after I get done, I'm the one covered.

[Guest]

Ever get to the point you just wanted to shout, "DOG SNOT!" I'm just about there-

[oxy-moron]

Focus on your plan- you are expecting results too quickly.
When you have a new relationship you get a free dose of Oxytocin.
This and dopamine create the feeling of love.(Scientists have proven that if you take either dopamine or Oxytocin out of the equation then there is no feeling of love.) However from research it also appears that Oxytocin provides the drive for females to want to have sex.
Keep up the morning cuddles.
You need to start increasing casual (non sexual) touch. Get into massaging her if she will accept it. Start slowly so that she doesnt register a change in your behaviour and get defensive. Add a bit more each day, ( Foot masage is good because it is safe and the area of the brain that is stimulated by the feet is next to the area stimulated by the genitals.)
It doesnt matter if she falls asleep during the massage. It will be the oxytocin that will send her to sleep and will still be generated while she sleeps.
In women it works like a bank account- It builds up- think of it as long term foreplay.
Oestrogen boosts Oxytocin- Testosterone works against it.

Keep focused -If you get her Oxytocin high enough she will behave sexually like she did in the first year.( Hopefuly the first year was good.)

[Hopeless Dork]

Did she give off any indicators that she wasn't a sexual person when you guys were dating? If not, at what point in the relationship did it taper off and did you address things as they slowed or stopped suddenly?

It sounds like you guys are just ill-fit in the chemistry department, so I am wondering if there was any hint of that , maybe that you tried to deny to yourself... because you wanted it to work so bad? Or were you just totally blindsided by her lack of physical affection?

There are just sooo many people on here that are one - half of a terribly sexually mis-matched couple and it leaves me wondering who changed more... the person that suddently stopped wanting to be physically intimate? Or the person that acted like they were okay with less... hoping for more later -- only to discover that things weren't getting better? Know what I mean?

I hear of men that marry women that are sexually cold thinking, well, maybe they will warm up later... and it doesn't happen... I'm not blaming you for being with someone that is so distant... I'm just curious if you were okay wth it before and suddenly realized you can't take it anymore... or if she was more sexual before and suddenly realized she doesn't want to fake it anymore... neither here nor there really.

You sound really unhappy, and unfortunately... it doesn't seem like shes built to care about how happy you are. Which is sad. The sun rises and sets on my boyfriend, to me... and has from our first date to this point.. years later. I'd do anything to make him happy, sexually, emotionally, whatever -- but its in my nature, 1... and its my feelings for him 2.

When I am hurt or upset by him, I withdraw... and he's in tune with that and works to figure out whats bothering me and we deal with it, we don't let it build up, at least not for more than a day before we hit it head on and talk about it.

I can see how couples can go a day, then two, then three, then its been a week and still ... nothing... time passes, weeks go by... I'm just wondering how it can get to a year before someone throws their hands up and asks what gives?