My love is real, always has been, always will be.
I stated that I was tired of her roller coaster ride and just stopped. She continues on her own ride. I talked to my son before I talked to her because I didn't want to get interrupted, as whatever I have to say is nothing to her and she likes to twist my words to make it something it's not. I opted to talk with him so he doesn't think I'm leaving him or because it was something he did. Not the case, she and I have grown apart to the point that it's hard to even talk to her, she talks over me and my point gets pizzed down the drain. She doesn't listen to me, nothing I have to say is important to her.
We have never been on a vacation. I have never been on a vacation in my life. She has as a child and growing up. My family was too poor to cross the street, let alone go to another town or half way across the state. She won't go on vacation, her job is too important to her. She has 240 hours of vacation built up just for vacation and refuses to use it. She won't even take a few hours off in the afternoon to spend with me so we can work this out. How can I work this out talking to myself? I'm at the point where I am getting numb inside, it usually happens when I have just had enough and I'm ready to call it quits. Just about at the point that I will grab the ball out of her hands and make the decision without her input, she isn't engaged anyway. The ball is in her court now and I'm staying away from her until she makes up her mind. This morning was about the last straw for me. You don't get mad at someone for asking to spend time with them. You figure out a way to make time for them and show them that they matter in your life. Anything else is like throwing their feelings into the trash can.
I'm standing my ground and I'll sleep on the couch until she gets her priorities straight. When she figures it out, it may be too late. I very well may be gone. We talked about this project we have going on to make the house look better in the front. I told her that I will have to live here until I find a place to put my stuff. I have a feeling that she will keep me around until the settlement on my arm is paid and spent and my disability back pay is gone and then she will be done with me. Hey, nothing like tapping a guy out and kicking his *** to the curb, eh? I'm thinking a seperate bank account until I know for a fact that this is straightened out and her head and heart is in the right place. I've been pumped dry before, not my first rodeo~
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