[Jimbeau]

I'll stick with one at a time. I'm 46 and have never cheated physically on anyone. Not even a prospective girlfriend, why start now on my wife? That's just not my style or my thing. I have too much respect for women and myself to be like that.

That's your choice. Just offering up options. However, one spouse denying another sex seems a lot worse to me than cheating.

[Guest]

Just intercoursed up! Of course, it has to happen to me- that's just my life. Things are going good, well... not really- She went to bed, so I went in a little bit after she did. I just rubbed her back as I laid there beside her. Now, that gets her all pizzed off. Great, just great! I can't be that close to her without some kind of physical contact. It's not like I was poking from behind or anything, good grief, just a simple back rub, very lightly. You would think she would enjoy that sort of thing. I'm better off sleeping in the garage for a few nights. She's all bent out of shape over a stupid back rub? She's tired, I understand. I thought a light back rub would be just the thing to put her to sleep. I guessed wrong. This..... aaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
What next? Am I breathing the wrong way and she hates that too? Just too frustrating..... Look I'm trying to hold this thing together, really I am, but any other woman would be worshipping me right about now, not kicking my butt to the curb. I just don't get it.... I really think she was telling the truth 3 weeks ago, she is done with me. I'm telling you, I'm going for the shallow end of things next. No brains, no conversation worth talking about some bimbo without any sense at all. Just a knock out with wet crotch...
I doubt it, even she wouldn't want me. The wet crotch would leave me out in the cold. What am I missing, what am I doing wrong? What's wrong with me? Why isn't this working out like it should be? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Am I now smothering her with affection and her childhood pushing me away? I mean really? WT?????

[Guest]

Sometimes I feel like straying, but ultimately it isn't going to happen... plain and simple. I feel like if a receptive female was right here right now I would have sex with her just to get rid of all the penned up sexual frustration and God knows the attention would be fantastic. Like that's going to happen, who the he'll am I kidding? Wife mad at me right now, I woke her up when I went to bed so I came back into the living room to get back on here, that whizzed her off. It whizzed her off that I came to bed and was rubbing her back. He'll, I'll just pull an all nighter on here again. What next? Sometimes I wish I would just get hit by a bolt of lightening and she could collect the life insurance and everyone would be happy. If I'm going to be in misery, WT, F?

So many women looking for a guy like me, (maybe), and I'm putting up with this carp? Just wondering how many women would... speculation... cut your arm off and guess how long it takes for you to bleed to death. This whole thing really sucks a bloody nose.

[jns]

It almost sounds like she is controlling, running hot and cold, either by design or unconsciously. I'm not sure if you stated what your relationship was before getting married, just after and maybe 2 years later. Maybe she is making up a story about using sex to get you just so you know that you won't be getting any in the future.

[Guest]

Oct 1997 I moved in here. Sex first night. Divorced July 1998 from 2nd wife. Married current Sept 1998. Sex all along until June 1999. Son born July 17th 1999. Sex life ended - end of story. Pretended to like sex before and faked it every time we did up until last July. Might be Her last sex, Not mine. If things don't drastically change soon then my committment to anyone is gone and no more of this bs. Hope disability comes through, might be a piece of ground I'll buy and put up a shack to ward off any women interested in me. Live the rest of my life hunting, fishing, trapping and being alone, away from all the pain and bs a relationship causes. At that point, all I'll need is my Camel's, Jim Beam and to be left the he'll alone.

[Guest]

Some women, too many effing games and nothing real, just fake. Fake smiles, fake boobs, fake fur, fake butt, fake love, fake sex, too fake for me to handle. Fake their butt away from me. I'm getting to that point very fast. Why so fake? Is fake in style now? Maybe men should take their lead and stuff a sock in their pants. That never flies with them if the man is fake but they can be as fake as they need to be to get the man. I said SOME WOMEN, NOT ALL. Makes me so mad I could spit nails.

[WildChild]

You have some interesting contrasts. On one thread you stated that you like heavily made up women, kind of "trashy" you said. But you've also said that your wife wears no make up. You run hot and cold in your current frustration, one minute you are going to stick it out the next you are up for becoming a hermit. But think for a minute about your frustration with "fakeness".

Why do some women do that? Because they know there are men who are attracted to it. Men who are drawn to bigger than real life appearances, all the make up, T& A and unfortunately, fake sex. As long as someone is buying, that's what they'll be hawking.

It sounds like you and your wife are locked in a kind of cycle of hot and cold, on and off. You go up and down and it sounds like she does too. How long has that been the case? Can you pinpoint when and why that started?

It sounded like you were making some real progress. Are the two of you both willing to keep trying? Are you just venting? Is she venting? Manipulating as some have suggested? What do you think is going on right now?

PS: Don't do the sleeping in the garage martyr thing, it won't do your back any good. Sleep in the guest bed or something. Being sleep deprived won't help.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I will say having known a member here along time morals play a duty, some men will put up with being ignored, and in that, they find themselves feeling be-littled and in that they lose confidence, and so they either stray or stay for the valves they made.


In away? I still believe in walk first because I guess I did....and I am happy.

But as hard as it is saying this I also understand, people sometimes make different choices and the bottom line is it is their own...


And who else owns a person but themselves.

As long as it doesn't hurt someone else...If it does? Then consider that .....

In any event.... She is seeing you as she has for 8 years, tried to get it back can't what are you to do?

Walk or stay..keep trying until you've tried 100% and yourself have no feelings anymore...

You may be a nice guy, maybe you should hold her arms put them against the wall and turn her around and see what she does.... Walk away if she is not going to go with it, but maybe she wan'ts adventure... IDK

CW

[Ashlee T.]

Mark.... I know you're going through alot, but I'm starting to be a bit concerned at your extreme highs and extreme lows. There seems to be nothing in between?? One minute she's the woman of your dreams and you love her more than life itself and you're hopeful, but all it takes is her getting a little peeved that you woke her up when you came to bed and you're wishing you'd get struck with a lightning bolt.

It's as if when she does ANYTHING that is not 100% receptive to you, you fall off into a deep pit. Why is that? If I were in bed sleeping on a work night, and you came to bed and knowingly woke me up by rubbing on me, I'd most likely reject you too. Don't you think it's a bit selfish to wake someone when you know they're sleeping just because you want some affection? If you wanted to rub and cuddle, the time would've been before she went to sleep. I'm sorry, but I don't agree with you here.

And then I wonder, in your own mind, how do you stay credible to yourself when your mind is changing so drastically so frequently? Gotta get a rope on these emotional outbreaks good man. They won't get you anywhere and they will inhibit your growth and set you back tremendously.

[Ashlee T.]

Again, I'll repeat what I wrote on your other thread. Extreme highs and extreme lows and no healthy in between. You're either brimming over with love or you're boiling over and spitting nails.

We all only hear your side of this, and yes, based on what you say it's easy for us to lean in your direction. But I'm starting to wonder how much of this what I'd call emotional instability she is dealing with and has dealt with over the past 12 years??? And are you spending all your time focusing on her, what she's not doing, what she's done wrong and not enough time focusing on your own issues that could have contributed to it?