[miserable mom]

I Feel Really Stupid

Thank you Steph for your support, well today its been three days since I've spoke with him, and I feel okay. Honestly there are times where my mind wonders what hes doing, if he even misses me, but I have not called him nor do I want to. I have taken him back so many times and I think he expects me to call him. I just figure I look at my kids and I was left with the best thing out of this relationship. And I'm so glad that you were strong enough to leave your relationship, I am trying to be strong to after being weak all these years. I have spoke to the little bit of friends that I do have and they had told me the same thing, to just leave him alone for good. It took me a long time to realized thats what I need to do. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but I'm doing it and I'm sure things will get better.

[JubesInquest]

Miserable Mom,

you've cut ties with him, as far as the relationship goes.
You can change your screen name now. You should make it a happy one.

[patricias213]

You have made your first move, im sure it took alot of courage for you to not call him, but as i said yes it will be the harddest thing you will ever do but the best thing you will ever do for you and the kids. Things will get better for you, be strong.

[miserable mom]

I Feel Really Stupid

It is hard, I wont lie and say I have not thought about him and wondered where and who he was with, but I am trying to be strong and stress free! I do feel stupid because I did cry by myself last night just thinking about a lot of things, I know he doesn't deserve my tears! I will just think about how my life will be without him, no more fighting late at night, no more loss of sleep, no more bruises on my body, no more him coming in late, no more hearing him call me names and putting me down, no more of hearing his lies, I'm through with it all!! And I thank the girls on here for helping me to cope, your advice was great! I'm not having any contact with him because I know its harder to let go when you still talk to them or see them. I'm just going to give it some time. We still have our kids so I guess hes not out of my life completely but he will not be the part of my life that brings me down.
I'm much better than I was yesterday! I'll just take it day by day.

[steph*]

well Im really glad to hear that you are doing better because this is a VERY hard situation to get out from especially when you have kids but i just want to let you knowthat you are doing a wonderful job and you shouldnt feel dumb for crying or anything like that! you are human!

[miserable mom]

Its now four days that I have not spoken to my ex, nor have I wanted to. I'm really proud of myself, this is like the longest I've went without wanting to call him sad to say. But thing is I'm more happy that I have not wanted to call him. I drive by his moms everyday on my way to school, and yesterday I saw his car outside. A weird feeling just swept over me, but I did not even think about stopping. So anyways I have a question and need some girlie advice.
I have a myspace page well I have friends on there that I have not seen or talk to in person in years. Well theres also this guy that is really cute, now I sure and hell don't want to jump to another guy so quick, but is it okay to talk different people so soon? Not hooking up wise just talking? I have never really had any male friends since being with my ex and I feel like I'm cheating on him if I talk to people, even though I broke up with him. Isn't that weird? Another thing I don't go out like I posted before on my first post, and next weekend a group of girlfriends from school, most of them are married, want to go out. They invited me to go with them, but I feel really weird about it, I want to but in a way it feels like I'm taking a plunge into something too soon. Last time we broke up for 5 months before I took him back (it was different then) I was the fool in that one, I was the one he broke up with and the one that wanted him back. Anyways I went out maybe 3 times total in five months, before that maybe 1 time in like a year. Anyways he knows so many people and I'm afraid someone might see me out and go tell him, and him come and do something stupid. He flipped last time and I was lucky he found out I was at the club after I had already left. So should I go out? Or is it way too soon to do any socializing?

[kaylar]

When you are in an abusive relationship, a hall mark
is the segregation from others.

As time passes you become so isolated you scarcely
know how to talk to people.

It is a very good idea to get into conversations on line
with all sorts of people, especially men, so that you
can begin to get a feeling of what is out there and
how people relate to each other.

Many women who come out of this kind of isolation
find it very difficult to make friends to engage in
even harmless conversation.

You have to relearn many things, and on line
is the best and safest.

[miserable mom]

Thanks for the advice Kaylar, I think your right, I have lossed a few friendships being in the relationship, and it was hard to make new friends after that. I guess I just asked because I didn't want to feel like I'm rushing things too soon.

[miserable mom]

Just need some advice

I've spoken to my ex he calls me everyday, at first I didn't answer but figured I can't hide away from this man forever, hes the father of my kids. Well when weve spoke its not anything really, I can tell the situation bothers him but I don't really care. I do not want to try and work things out what so ever with him. Especially if makes no effort to change or even get help.
Anyways the reason I'm posting today is because on my myspace my ex boyfriend from when I was like 15 found me and left me his number to call him. I was actually going out with him when I met my kids dad and end up cheating on him and getting pregnant from my kids dad. I was young and I feel bad for what I did. Anyways me and him had a cool relationship it was a friendship as well as a boyfriend girlfriend thing. We would joke around a lot, we would confide in each other, I was able to talk to him without him being so judgemental. So I decided to call him, its been 10 years since I last saw or spoke with him, and when I called him we ended up talking all night on the phone, I didn't get any sleep at all. We talked about a lot of things, and he told me he always thought about me over the years, he even read me some old letters I wrote him back then, and to be honest it kind of took me back for a minute. I just remember how much happier I was before all the drama in my life and my drama started early. He made me laugh, and I just felt really good. I am not thinking of trying to rekindle an old relationship at least not right away, I just feel good knowing he is still the same and he never held what I did to him againts me. He knows we were young and he forgives me. Anyways he is cool person to talk to, he was tripping out because he said the last time he stayed on the phone like that was the last time he spoke with me. Funny huh! As teens thats all we did was talk on the phone all night until the morning. It was cool we had so much things to say, and I could joke with him and he wouldn't take it serious, it was just completely different that me and my kids dad.
Thing is if my baby daddy found I was talking to him at all, I'm sure he would throw a fit and I even worry that he might do something pretty scary. So should I continue talking to my ex or should I just leave it as that? Is there something wrong with me being friends with the guy I was with when I met my kids father? I just need some advice. Thanks girls.

[steph*]

I really think you should keep talking to this guy,to me it looks like he is sweet and he is making you feel better and happy! is he in any type of relationship? if hes not then why not? and about your "ex" (i supppose) i mean i understand were you are coming from but its like you guys arent together and he really has no right to tell you who to talk to anymore he might of done that before but he shouldnt anymore and if he were to find out what do you think he might do? Its not like you rdoing anything bad JUST BE HAPPY WITHOUT FEAR!