[LittlePip]

"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free"

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I agree with you that incentives/reason for a man to be married is alot less now than say a few decades ago. Sex and closeness is abundant outside of marriage. What I'm trying to say is that female promiscuousness is the main reason a man reject marriage by incentive or instinct. Why would anyone want to be responsible for someone else's past and garbage(incentive). If she's your garbage, you have no choice but to be responsible and naturally attached(instinct) Sorry for being crude, but it's a man's psyche/ego. I may be wrong, but Feminism may be the downfall of institution of marriage but have increase female's work ability/independence. Mix result.

Are you suggesting that there were no *****s 100 , 200 years ago, that there were not misguided young ladies, that there were not virgins? That it is woman's fault that she is promiscous? And that man has played no part at all in this ever?

Cave men, dragged their woman by the hair and had their way.. Is that woman's fault? Yes a man's ego can be his own un-dressing, as his own, insecurity, of not believing a woman can love him enough to never cheat.

Yet a man wants a tart in the bed, yet a lady next to him, but how can she be a tart in bed unless she has learnt how to? Are you the teacher at 30? She has already learnt her body by then.

Divorce usually is based on "settling" not knowing her/himself and settling.. Nothing to do with sex in my opinion.

Guys are more worried about married due to children, and therefore finance and what they are expected to pay out...

It's not based on her sexuality.. A REAL man wants a woman who is sexual but loves him and gives to him, in real intimacy of love, finally.

[rosekitten]

I'm a guy and wants to share a little wisdom. With the way people are having sex casually. There are so many guys unwilling to marry(girls quite willing). Rate of marriage is down and divorce is up.

Who cares? What does it matter to you? Are you personally vested in marriage rates?

I am not saying to be celibate, but girls should consider a guy's psyche. Look up on retroactive jealousy and madonna ***** syndrome. Guys screw around not caring his previous '****s', then when after meeting a great gal he cares truly, but.. she's been around the block and it changes everything. Marry her? Wait a minute.. How could the one be that way? Its primal instinct. Double standard? Yes. Reality? Yes.

Real men don't behave this way. If a man thinks a woman is a '****' because she has had previous sex partners, then he needs to grow up. Wanting a virgin is find, especially if you are a virgin yourself. But if you're going to consider someone a **** because they are sexual, you don't need to be marrying anyone anyways. Real men treat women with respect, they don't call them ****s.

[Hugo-B]

Every man I have known personally who prefers inexperienced women over experienced one is a cheat himself whilst being desperately insecure.

I would go as far as to postulate that a woman with more experience is less likely to cheat out of curiosity, as opposed to a more inexperienced one.

I also think a woman who is happy and in love is less likely to cheat than a man who is happy and in love. A man will often cheat because he can, i.e., he gets the chance and just can't turn it down, where as a woman will need a reason to justify her actions, if she's happy and in love she's less likely to find one. Don't get me wrong, often a woman who wants to cheat can easily justify it to herself by conjuring up some irrational reasoning; but a woman who cheats is no more culpable than a man.

[Evolve]

Hi all... Again sorry if I've ruffles a few feathers. I have no incentive for more marriages, nor have I any intention to find virgins. lol.
I just have an observation and it is probably truer than most would like to admit/accept.

chandler's wish:

"Are you suggesting that there were no *****s 100 , 200 years ago, that there were not misguided young ladies, that there were not virgins? That it is woman's fault that she is promiscous? And that man has played no part at all in this ever?"

Off course it takes two to tango. But chandlers.. I believe you are experienced in relationships.. have you ever wished that you had one guy who stick by you at all times? A "good girl" make "good guys" just want to do exactly that.
It's an advice. I could be wrong. Take it as that, an advice. Good luck everyone!

[Hugo-B]

A good person, man or woman could have had 100 partners and still stick by you.

I'm not perfect, but I still 'stick by' ex girlfriends who I'm still friends with, as do I with all of my friends when they need me. Why should previous numbers of partners come into the equation? People change, their needs change, they mature and evolve as people. The person who was perfect for you at 19 may well not have grown in tandem with you (as a person) and may be totally unsuited to you five, ten, or twenty years on. You can't just band all people with multiple previous partners as promiscuous.

You haven't ruffled my feathers, I can't speak for anyone else though, but I think your thought process regarding this is flawed, no offense.

[Evolve]

"Who cares? What does it matter to you? Are you personally vested in marriage rates? "

There seems to me that there is a difference of understanding of what is going on in a man's head and what their woman think is goiing on. I just want to say what I think. Woman seems so clueless and keep falling for guys and give their guys everything, then.. boom he left. Just want to add a little bit more understanding.

"Real men don't behave this way. If a man thinks a woman is a '****' because she has had previous sex partners, then he needs to grow up. Wanting a virgin is find, especially if you are a virgin yourself. But if you're going to consider someone a **** because they are sexual, you don't need to be marrying anyone anyways. Real men treat women with respect, they don't call them ****s."

Yes, I agree. But most of the men in this world is not "real man". We are just emotional being full with insecurities and prejudices. Ever wonder why there isn't a word "****" for man? Why call woman the "brake" while man is the "accelerate"?
welcome to the world where "real man" get the girls.. it could be that "real man" acts and say nice things because woman want to hear those. Not their actual self. ask any male who doesn't prefer a conservative (not necessarily a virgin) woman for a wive, you have an unusual male or a lying man. Just like you ask a female who wants a pauper and loser as a husband. In a final note. a ******* will always be a ******* even if you give him everything. Usually, they are the one who can pretend so well to be a "Real man" for a very long time.

[Evolve]

"I'm not perfect, but I still 'stick by' ex girlfriends who I'm still friends with, as do I with all of my friends when they need me. Why should previous numbers of partners come into the equation? People change, their needs change, they mature and evolve as people. The person who was perfect for you at 19 may well not have grown in tandem with you (as a person) and may be totally unsuited to you five, ten, or twenty years on. You can't just band all people with multiple previous partners as promiscuous."

Sorry can I ask whether you are married or not? My guess is probably not. My advice is actually for girls.
Flawed or not.. for whatever reasons your previous relationships did not work.. Fact of the matter still stands. Our grandpa and grandma probably has less partners (probably only each other), marry earlier, and not divorced and happier than we will ever be.

[LittlePip]

Our grandpa and grandma probably has less partners (probably only each other), marry earlier, and not divorced and happier than we will ever be.

Have you ever heard of the phrase "ignorance is bliss"? Our Grandparents didn't know any better, not only because of a low number of sexual partners but for numerous other factors. One thing that had made modern society expect more from relationships, and sex, is the media. The media our Grandparents knew was very different, mainly the radio and newspaper articles. They would have seen and heard little of these amazing sexual experiences, they got together, and stuck together. Modern society are chasing unrealisic, unfulfilled dreams.

I, a woman, have had a number of sexual partners, however I don't give it away to men I don't believe I have some connection with and I expect to be treated with the same respect as I give them. I haven't had any problems so far.

If you're a lowlife man there is only so long you can keep up the act to fool a woman, I like to think I keep my sex to myself until I have some idea one way or the other. We can't be right all the time, and I'd personally prefer to find out the man I'm interested in was only looking for some easy sex sooner rather than later. Much better to sleep with someone and have them turn out to be a rat than wait to have sex, marry a seemingly nice guy and have him turn into a jerk.

[Evolve]

*littlepip:Absolutely correct.