[ShayShay]

We started out strangely. First we were friends in high school. Started living together when i left my parents. Became attracted to each other and had drunken sex :S. Friends with benefits. Dating. We've been dating a while now and theres something that has been bothering me more and more. He has a favorite porn star and shes on all his electronic devices. She's a solo girl and I think i get his attraction and it doesnt bother me he watches her sometimes. Except that i have to look at her EVERYDAY and its causing issues with my self esteem. I think he thinks it doesnt bother me because i said i dont care that he watches porn. But that doesnt mean i want her staring me down everyday. Her name is Aerial Rebel and the pic i see most often of her is on his PS3 She's the background and shes shirtless and staring down at the camera. Which after a while has come to look like shes giving me a "haha" look. Like she's smirking at me...Its been festering for a while if you cant tell. I suck at communicating things that bother me and havent been able to talk to him. Its gotten to the point i'm depressed everytime i see her (everyday, netflix is on his PS3) or i cant even look at her so i wait till she's off screen. She's on his laptop to. His ipad has her all over though she's not the background and so does his phone. also something happened that bothered me. His meds make him high so i dont entirely blame him, but I was trying to kiss him (for some reason he's uncomfortable with kissing me) and he kept pulling away but he was horny and wanted me to "take care of it" so to say. I told him to kiss me first and he said hed just take care of it himself. He grabbed his ipad and was getting up. I knew he was going to look at her i knew it would destroy me so i pulled him back down. said just one kiss. He kissed me and i "took care of it" later i sat at the end of the bed feeling ****ty still and he asked whats wrong, but passed out before i got the guts to say anything. So i went to a friends for the night because me walk i took didnt help. Things got better after that, but i still havent talked to him about how much it bothers me. Any advice on how to talk to him?

[jns]

He sounds like he is into fantasy instead of reality. And it sounds like he is immature. Is he what you want at this point of your life?

[Guest]

Wow! Agree with jns. Seems to live in a fantasy world and is immature.

[ShayShay]

Ok i just realized i made this all sound worse than it is. My big issue is i need to talk to him and i suck and communication. I cant even order a pizza without having a panic attack. He knows he was a jerk that night and we made up. He was high. His meds for his condition do that. So he gets really horny. The reason i posted this is to find a way to talk to him. Im sure he'd take it down and be cooth about it if i just talk to him but i havent been able to. Advice on being able to communicate better?

[ShayShay]

All my issues with him seem to be my lack of communication skills if yall could help me with that.

[DreamP346]

If you have a difficult time saying it verbally, try writing an email or letter. Take your time to express what you want to say and then send/give it to him.

Do not text.

[ShayShay]

I've asked him how he would feel about that. He knows i have a hard time talking to him and hes vey patient about it. But he doesnt like letters there to impersonal and he wants to help me get over my communication issues. He doesnt think that would help. Its a quick way out

[lovexlaugh]

Think about what you want to say - write it down and practice it. Tell him you need to have a serious talk, explain that its hard for you to talk about it so can he please be patient and don't say anything until you're finished, warn him this is very serious and its affecting you. Don't get discouraged if you start stumbling over words or stressing. Remember how important it is to your relationship!

[ShayShay]

thank you. i know he'll be patient he has in the past. always waits till im done talking and really sweet trying to help how he can. just nervious is all i guess. really nervious. i always think of the worst possible outcome

[DreamP346]

Another option is to write the letter and then read it to him.