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Please help me !

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  • Please help me !

    Please whoever can help. What should I do
    I love my husband but I can't take the way he treats and talks to me
    We have been together for 4 years we have a son. I'm sooo depressed I don't talk to anyone. I never leave the house. When I ask him to go somewhere he gets mad and says you don't respect that I have to work. I do respect it but I can't take being alone and stuck in the house. He has a car but I don't. I'm trying to get my license but I'm sooo scared to drive.
    What should I do?!

  • Anybody please help going through a rough time really need advice!


    • Hey sweet,

      To even write that, suggests that you are crying and feeling really low huh.

      Have you been stuck in this house for 4 years? Hold old now is your son...

      Firstly, your husband should not make you feel guilty if you need something and can't attend to driving because you don't have a license, having said that he is probably stuck himself, you know, having to assist all the time with these things, is that why he talks down to you?

      Off course you feel useless and depressed, un-happy. I am not sure if you can google getting a drivers license and actually read how it all works, and start studying, or whether you can re-gain old friends, or new ones and have someone teach you the basics without actually driving off course but I think that is your first port of call. .

      I lost my lisence for 6 months, long story, and I won but in any event, whilst it was great to walk sometimes it was hard, alot of the times, just to get somewhere and it is depressing.

      I guess it's time to tell us a bit more about your life so we can work out what else you could maybe do to not feel this way....

      358 posts in two weeks suggests that you have time on your hands that could be for "you" something really good you love, even with a baby.


      • Yes I'm crying.. I really didn't mean to sound that down in pathetic but I feel stuck
        We have been together for 4 years we have moved a lot I've been in this particular house for 7 months
        But let me start from the beginning I met him at 18 he was 26 we talked and texted all the time and hung out several months our relationship was rocky from the first few weeks he cheated on me but then we got back together then a few months later he cheated again . Then we moved to WV and lived together. He cheated on me again but by that time I was married and pregnant. I moved out for several weeks lived with my grandma. We some how got back together. We moved back home. Then at 8 months pregnant I found out he cheated on me with my own cousin... Skip ahead broke up when my son was almost one he got with some girl for a few weeks then we got back together girl says he's the father of his baby. Who knows if he is. He was soo sweet but now he just stays in his room we don't do anything or go anywhere but he leaves sometimes but I never do unless its with my mom. When I ask for him to sit and talk with me he gets annoyed. I just don't know what to do I'm soo depressed and alone. And my son is 20 months


        • And to answer your question about having alot of time... Yes I do all I do is get up feed my son watch him play he takes a nap I go excerise for two hours he gets up I feed him he plays till dinner then plays some more goes to bed I watch tv or read then go to bed and that is my day everyday.....


          • Sorry to say this, but your husband sounds like a terrible partner. You've told us about all the bad stuff about him. Tell us the good. What keeps you with him? If you were to leave, do you have options. Do you have a place to go and some financial assistance?
            Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)


            • He use to want to be with me he use to be really sweet he was my best friend. Every time we break up hell be soo upset tell me how much he needs me he promises he will change well he does for awhile he is sick at the moment but he won't get insurance. And even when he wasn't sick recently something has just changed we use to watch movies we don't even do that anymore. We use to go ghost haunting we don't anymore . We do nothing ! hell watch some tv with me but when I try to talk to him he says he's trying to hear the tv.


              • And I can live with my mom


                • Mmmm.

                  Still no good things about him

                  Ghost hauntings? That I would love you to start a thread on, being a witch and all.

                  Now I can see why you do a few one liners with a grrrr, where cheating is concerned on the threads.

                  BM... We can be blinded at 18.. He is old enough to know better and how to treat a woman. He is a serial cheater and has no respect, for you at all.. He won't even communicate with you at all.. Just lets you sit there day after day..

                  Can you work part time?

                  I'm glad that you can go back to your Mothers.

                  You need to start to firstly create a life, and get to know you again, who she is, what she is missing, what she wants, needs. This helps you build confidence to do what is best for "you"....

                  Being down also means you may play with your baby but ultimately you're not happy around him/her and it would show.

                  You crave company up-most and for-most.. You don't even get that as you are not allowed to talk.

                  You need to take a good look in that mirror honey and realise your worth... You've grown, so has he, maybe out of each other and maybe he's only there for the baby, but he can't keep it in his pants, he can't give to one person and one person only not even in that compartment but in other aspects, such as togetherness.

                  Start building your new life around him for now.
                  PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!


                  • Yes I love all that creepy ghost stuff.. I believe in it!
                    Recently within the last 8 months he hasn't cheated that I'm aware of. Although he does act a little strange when I pick up his cell phone... :/
                    I can't work yet.. I'm scared to put my son in daycare because a friend of mine's child was molested and it ruined the child she was so happy and sweet now she's completely changed I would be heart broken if that happen to my son. I have to wait till at least preschool.
                    Yes I can't stand a cheater which is ironic.. I have never cheated and I'm being honest. I just don't see how someone that loves you could hurt you that way.
                    I think he's depressed but so am I.and he won't talk to me
                    Being alone is making me depressed and very irritable..
                    I'm moving in with my mother because he told me to leave if I don't like the way he is because he can't change.... So I guess I'm leaving for the a millionth time


                    • If he has stated "he can't change" a word I don't believe in..."can't" it's "won't"..then he is asking that you accept him cheater and all.. If you look at the times that he cheated and how many, you are right, you will walk on egg shells constantly wondering. If he cringes when you pick up his phone and he is careful to delete history, well, more than likely he is still not being honerable to you.

                      You are young.

                      Move back for now, get to know you, like I said, the gym is only one thing you can do, get to know people, make friends, stay put this time, in this area and start to work out what you want to do part time as well. He may cry and say he'll change, let him prove it.

                      If he goes to councelling, if he wants to change.

                      Then you will know for sure.

                      Sorry about your friend's child that's horrific and that is where I get my goat up, but everything we do in life we have to research hopefully, there are good places out there.

                      Does your Mother work?

                      Hun, I believe in keeping marriages together. But it takes two.

                      I don't believe in living in a loveless marriage that can not be solved because the other person refuses to admit any fault or work towards making it a marriage. What can you do in that instance ? If your hands are tied?

                      Learn to love yourself and find out who you really are and shine..................
                      PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!


                      • Yes my mother is a HR director for a company and works 5-6 days a week ( another thing is he is always talking about my mother which makes me really mad because my mother helps us with money or food and his parents do nothing)
                        I constantly wonder what if he is cheating because I never hide my cell phone or my computer from him. I never see any one his stuff. I don't want to snoop but I would like to be given the option...
                        The love yourself part... Your right.. I have no self esteem probably because I can't live up to all those beautiful porn stars he looks at everyday... But porn doesn't really bother me its just he does that way more then be with me..
                        I guess he won't change I know he could if he tried.. I understand he has to work but he could take a few hours or even minutes out of the day to be with me..
                        I do want to join a gym.. Excerising is actually a rush that takes away my depression usually.


                        • What does he do for a living?

                          There could be a chance that he really is just doing that, living...........

                          I don't mind porn, if it's in a situation whereby there is no one in your life, I mean fair enough. But, I feel the moment you bring it in whilst married or committed on your own, that is what you perceive women to be.

                          Perhaps that is why he is cold? He sees your Mother as high up, him as low down, before you as he was 26, you 18, he never entered into a beautiful loving relationship probably always watched porn...

                          Sounds like my ex, husband. Can not see women as beautiful creatures on the inside but can on the outside but if not a lady, then all women are **********s.

                          I think this is deeper sweet, like from his childhood and through his teens and then to 20's....

                          If a guy has never treated a woman as "his life, her his", how does he start at 30?

                          I think you have a man with alot of baggage.

                          Join that gym.

                          Take a bath with candles and a glass of wine.

                          Laugh with your son/daughter so that the bubs sees mum happy watch, because babies make you lol, when you show that.

                          Google jobs you would love and see what's involved.

                          Take a course, free on to start with something of interest.

                          Time is on your side and time is what you need to re-discover yourself and see who you are and what you want.
                          PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!


                          • He has his own business. He works at home.
                            He's obsessed with naked women. He cannot have women friends because he does not treat them like a person he treats them differently. I don't understand why... I feel like women are just objects to him. Being a feminist myself .. That makes me so mad
                            His relationships before me have not lasted a year...
                            Yes he has a ton of baggage he's bi polar but so am I..
                            My son is really the only happiness I have in life..
                            My signing up for my second course of psychology in march
                            He's very jealous of my mom because she is a college graduate I guess.. He says she has a "do nothing job" which that's not true my mom works hard! Plus my mom is bossy and he sees that as her being mean he's very sensitive to criticism..


                            • time to fight n getaway , he may not (wont) change



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