[jns]

As he was holding and comforting her, he started to get a boner, but didn't do anything.

Being that I have one of these things (a penis), I know a little bit about them.

IMO, somewhere in there he must have been thinking of sex, at least a little bit. If not, he would not have gotten a boner. Maybe it was about having her take off all of his clothes. A guy can run around all day without clothes and not get an erection unless sex finds its way into his mind someway, somehow. However, if he thinks of sex, even a gentle breeze will get him hard. Therefore, I don't think his mind was fully on emotionally comforting her.

[Stillness]

But you were too wrapped up in your own needs to see hers and the actually rational thought behind it, so you mischaracterized what she was after.

Sorry if this is a little direct.

You don't have to apologize to me, my friend.

This girl wanted sex day, night, happy, sad, relaxed, stressed, on her period, with clothes on, when having a sleepover with her friends, in the car driving or not. She would scheme, lie, and sneak to get it. I'm not complaining. I was more than cool with it. It was the most exciting time of my life. It was just that one time that I didn't get it. Her question was, "How am I supposed to lay next to you and not make love?" She simply did not care as much about what happened as I did.

In fact, the ordeal we went through was because she had schemed and lied to spend a long weekend with me out of town against her mother's wishes (we were teenagers). Her mother hunted us down and we had to literally run, duck and hide. I knew the fallout would be horrible and I was right.

I'll never forget something that one of her seemingly equally horny friends told me: "I want sex like a man." She associated a good, healthy sex drive with manhood. Another one of her friends pleaded with me over the phone to bring my friend over her house so that he could have casual sex with her, saying, "Come on. You know how it is to need some." (I actually did not - not to the degree she was expressing). Once I got settled into college my friends and I were experiencing the same things from the women we were coming into contact with. They were as sexual as we were.

Although times are changing here, I think that aspect of female sexuality is still disregarded by many. They imagine purer, simple physical desire as manly and a more complex emotional connection as womanly. The OP, for example, doesn't seem to even consider the possibility that the man in the relationship wanted a sexless intimate moment. She concludes that it's all about him understanding what a woman needs and makes it appear as if he got what he needed as a reward for his good behavior later when she "let" him have sex with her. I think that outside of any social constructions that's completely false generalization.

[jns]

There still is a streak of Victorian thinking when it comes to sex.

[Stillness]

That had to be a boring time.

[jns]

If you take a look at the romantic literature of the time you will find out how many women escaped the marriages they were in. Of course some did not follow the rules.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

A few days after she rewarded him by having an hour long sex session with oral and intercourse.

Do you think that he knew what he was doing a few days before?

I do.

[Obelisk]

Have I ever been held by a naked man - heck yes. Was it in response to my needing an emotional support - oh no.

lol I found this thread funny. "Take your clothes off and I'll take mine off and you can hold on to my penis, but it's my way of showing you emotional support"

hah hah