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Have you or has your partner cheated?

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  • Have you or has your partner cheated?

    Have you ever cheated on your partner or have they cheated on you? If you are the one who cheated does your partner have any idea? How long did the relationship last? What made you cheat? Is it ever justified?

  • I began an "emotional affair" once. The day it began to move beyond that, I told my SO and ended the relationship with him, and dated that other guy for awhile. I wasn't getting what I needed in my relationship and working at it wasn't helping. I was young, weak and simply unable to walk away without someone else to catch me. It caused a lot of hurt and looking back, I can't believe what a convoluted life I was living then. Very poor choice.

    I believe my husband was cheating prior to our separation and divorce. He never admitted it.

    People cheat for all sorts of reasons and some of them are understandable. Justified tho'? not in my opinion.


    • husband has said he's never cheated on me


      • I have never cheated. I truly don't think he has either, but I would never say "I KNOW he hasn't". People disappoint sometimes.

        I have been cheated on. I'm pretty attentive and intuitive....I saw teeny tiny little signs. But I waited until I could prove it to leave.

        Never justified. Not happy? Leave. I think the only reason people cheat is because they want the best of both worlds. They don't want to lose what they have, but want to have other things too. It's a purely selfish act.
        "Be what you're looking for."


        • When my wife and first got married she was working and in school, so we weren't spending much time together. I was masturbating and looking at pornography.

          When she found out, I was shocked at how angry and betrayed she felt. When we were dating she knew I looked at pornography and would even watch with me. But she thought things would change since we were married and becoming Christians.

          Besides that, I can honestly say that when I've been in a relationship I've never even flirted with another girl or woman. That's a point of pride for me. As far as I know my wife has been fully faithful too.
          "Those sowing seed with tears
          Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126


          • Define cheating


            • BTW, recent research indicates that the percentages of men & women who have sex outside of marriage is about equal. The Internet is a huge cause.


              • I would not throw away an otherwise great relationship if my g/f were to get drunk and do something she'd regret. I would if it were a pattern or if it were more than one indiscretion.

                I know of many married women who've run across former boyfriends and banged them. Alcohol affects women's thought processes differently than it does men. I know of more than one drunk married woman who has one-night-standed a dude she had just met.

                Also, women seem to fall prey to con artists more easily. From my experience and from what I've read, women want to believe a line of BS even when rationally they know it's not true. One of my g/f's college "boyfriends" BS'd his way down her pants with a fantastical line of BS. She dated him for a few months before she figured out he was a pathological liar. Years ago, after we broke up, she told me of a dude she was seeing who slung BS as thick as found in any pasture. She asked what I thought. I told her he was a con artist. He was. Luckily for her, he didn't get down her pants.

                Probably the best con I've heard was a dude whom I used to know. Many years before cell phones, he'd go into 5-star joints and page himself as Dr. Smith. They he'd get up to answer his own page. About 15 years ago, a dude of about 27 was busted for practicing medicine w/o a license. He'd meet women, tell them he was an OB/GYN, take them home for a free examination. If he hadn't of copped to free medical exams, he would've committed no crime. When I read the story of his arrest, any halfwit should've known that he was a con artist.


                • If women cheat and have one night stands because alcohol makes them weak and they're more gullible, what's the excuse for the men they have the one night stands with and who cheat just as much?

                  I despise the alcohol excuse. I think we should be past that in 2017 when awareness of how impaired alcohol makes us is greater than ever. Do we accept "I was drunk" when someone gets into a car accident?
                  "Those sowing seed with tears
                  Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126


                  • Originally posted by WaveRider View Post
                    Define cheating
                    opposite of being faithful


                    • I am not sure what point you're making regarding cheating waverider. I think plenty of women can manage themselves just fine while drinking. And, it's not an excuse any more than for any man.

                      As an added thought, I haven't recently checked laws in my area, but I believe that a man who has sex with a drunk woman has raped her, as she cannot consent if intoxicated. Anyone know current laws on that?


                      • Good Morning, atskitty2,

                        I'd go with rape laws being standard in western countries. A drunk woman is perfectly capable of giving consent. Were she unresponsive drunk, then it could be rape. In CA, Penal Code Section 261. (a) (3) is controlling:

                        "Where a person is prevented from resisting by any intoxicating or anesthetic substance, or any controlled substance, and this condition was known, or reasonably should have been known by the accused."

                        A crime is committed only if act meets intent. If a drunk woman gives consent to have sex the awakes hours later and regrets her consent while she drunk, rape did not occur. A bad decision on her part might have occurred, but no crime occurred.

                        It would be a twisted man who'd want to have sex with an unconscious woman. And it could be a refutable presumption that rape occurred. It will turn on the facts at the time an alleged rape occurred.

                        It's a more twisted woman who alleges rape where rape did not occur.

                        Feminists undermine legitimate concerns of women with reckless misandry. Feminists want to redefine laws to comport to their agendas. A plastered woman who agrees to sex has not been raped.

                        One of the ecumenical effects of voluntary intoxication is diminished inhibitions. I'm sure you've experienced sorority and fraternity parties. I've never seen a sober woman show her breasts in public. I've seen too many drunk women to remember who has. That dude who made a fortune with "Girls Gone Wild" videos captured women with alcohol-induced reduced inhibitions. I think he found himself on the bad side of law when at least one girl was underage.


                        • Originally posted by amy40 View Post

                          opposite of being faithful
                          What is faithful?


                          • I've been exposed to a definition of cheating as doing something a person wouldn't do were his/her wife/husband or girlfriend/boyfriend present.

                            I've read research that flirting, especially at work, is common among both genders. Would flirting be cheating?


                            • Originally posted by Stillness View Post
                              If women cheat and have one night stands because alcohol makes them weak and they're more gullible, what's the excuse for the men they have the one night stands with and who cheat just as much?

                              I despise the alcohol excuse. I think we should be past that in 2017 when awareness of how impaired alcohol makes us is greater than ever. Do we accept "I was drunk" when someone gets into a car accident?
                              Drunk driving is not congruous with drunk sex.

                              I do agree that intoxication is merely an excuse. But anyone who has been drunk and hasn't regretted something they did while drunk would have to be the exception to the rule, and rules are never invalidated by exceptions. Rule always apply.

                              I know that I've done things I've regretted while drunk. As I've grown wiser, I rarely drink hard liquor. I've learned that regrets often arise from hard liquor intoxication. Now I'm 99% a beer and wine dude. I might get buzzed, but extremely rarely drunk. I hate hangovers.

                              An isolated drunk act of indiscretion is forgivable. A pattern isn't.



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