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Have you or has your partner cheated?

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  • Originally posted by WaveRider View Post

    What is faithful?
    I'm thinking about the seventh commandment.


    • I'm glad I looked at my state's laws on sexual consent, in general, even briefly. Seems a lot of wiggle room exists for defining consent, with impairment. I will try to read more later.

      Anyway, back to the point. I do agree that I would be more likely to work through a one-time occurrence than an ongoing affair, alcohol involved or not.

      Amy, I think it's a valid point, to ask what a person's boundaries are, in faithfulness. In the final days of my marriage, I was accused of cheating because I talked to my male boss, just a little too long, or whatever reason. He would say that I must be messing around with him, as we were together all day. Yeah, with other people, working. Now, obviously my hubs was irrational, as I've shared before, but he believed I was cheating. What I was doing was nothing even on a personal level as friends. It was all work related.

      Some men are against carrying on friendships with exes. That is being unfaithful to them. I have friends that I once dated, and I don't intend to stop that. So, a man I date cannot be uncomfortable with that. Crossing lines can be individual. Even very open relationships have some boundaries. I think it's reasonable to explore what the boundaries are in Romys questions, and where she is in this, in order to provide the best guidance.


      • Originally posted by atskitty2 View Post
        .I think it's reasonable to explore what the boundaries are in Romys questions, and where she is in this, in order to provide the best guidance.
        Totally forgot it was Romy's thread since Romy hasn't posted again.


        • Hi amy40,

          That would be cheating.


          • Hi atskitty2,

            I'm sorry that you were wrongfully accused of infidelity. Jealously can cause people to allow their emotions overrule reasoned thought.

            I'm not the jealous type. If I couldn't trust a woman, she wouldn't be my g/f or wife.

            My ex-wife used to go out with friends after work. Some were men. There's no way I'd believe she cheated.

            I think it's a healthy sign that exes can remain friends. I've always tried to remain on good terms with women I've dated. I'd be good with a g/f who remained friends with her former boyfriends and husband. When women trash men they've dated, that's cause for concern.

            Years ago, when I was dating the woman I'm with whom I'm now seeing, we ran in to one of her former boyfriends. She used to risk getting caught by her parents because she used to bang him in her house while she was in high school. That moron didn't even have the class to walk over and say, "Hi," to her. And they were in a very sexual relationship.

            Were I to run across women I've dated while I was in college or before marriage, I know I could walk up to them, give them a huge hug, and ask how they're doing. It's much more wise to leaving them laughing when you go.

            I once attended a reunion. A woman was there with her husband. On the sly, she asked me to not talk about our teenage sex. I would've never done such a thing. Then I thought that her husband must be very insecure and jealous.

            When I was in a dating relationship with the woman I'm now seeing, I'd talk to her ex-husband. He's not quite all there, so I was and remain very cautious yet friendly with him. He used to demean my g/f during sex, telling her she was gross for wanting him to cum on her **** and face. Had he been smart and listened when she tried to teach him how to experience fantastic sex, that would have been one less issue that eventually destroyed their marriage. He thought good sex was rolling atop her, penetrating her until he came, and then rolling back on his side of their bed. He used to frustrate her when he went down on her because he had no clue of how to get her off.

            Sexual incompatibility is a huge issue in relationships. My g/f's extremely sexually experienced. Some might've called her a **** when she was younger. She was extremely good looking when she was in college and had a rock solid 10 body. She was voted one of her university's most beautiful coeds. So she never experienced lack of male attention. And she's always loved sex and was perpetually horny. Her ex might've had been with 3 women before they met. One of the endearing qualities I adore about her is her sexual experience of which I'm beneficiary. If she wants me to cum on her face, she doesn't have to ask twice. I have pictures of her with my cum on her face. I've cum in her hair before and she never became upset.

            Some men are insecure and intimidated by women who are more sexually experienced than are they. If they'd set aside their illusory pride and ask, "What do you want me to do, and how do you want me to do it," they'd assuredly be in happier relationships.


            • interesting wave rider, that you consider walking/ talking cheating


              • he has never gotten jealous over me talking with anyone


                • Amy, guess it's cheating in the sense that your mental and emotional self were gratified by someone other than your husband.

                  The act of walking the dog with a male neighbor, to me, isn't cheating. You seemed to have a sort of fantasy or vague attraction to him.
                  Does your husband know about your more personal feelings about these walks, and do you think he'd still find it funny if he did?


                  • all I can say, is my husband knows me


                    • Hi amy40,

                      Your friend being good looking isn't the issue. I'd go with your husband's jealousy.

                      If you're going to have a dog walking partner, it makes sense to want one who's good looking. Good for you. Enjoy his company. Just don't bang him.

                      Fantasizing about sex is not cheating. Talking sex is not cheating. The line is crossed with intimacy.

                      I'm friends with many women. I've talked sex with a of of them. One wanted my advice on number of dates before she had sex with a guy. Another asked me if it were appropriate to ask a new boyfriend to submit to STD testing and show her the results before sex. Another wanted to know how to cause her b/f to crave her. That was hard to answer because men are not clones. Oh yeah, I forgot about the woman who asked me about Viagra. She wanted to know whether she she might have to give oral sex to a man who takes Viagra for two hours. After she asked, I busted out laughing. It was an off-the-wall hilarious question. She was 100% serious. While I knew nothing about Viagra, I told her that no man would expect a woman to perform oral sex on him for two hours. I told her that she determined how long she might want to do it. Whether he came during oral sex would probably be beyond her control.


                      • I see anything erotic with someone else as cheating. That would include flirting.

                        There are different degrees. Flirting is not the same as sex, but they would both be a violation.
                        "Those sowing seed with tears
                        Will reap with a joyful shout." - Psalm 126


                        • Some people are natural flirts and this seems like cheating, but to them it's just flirting. However, if a husband was chatting up a woman with his wife nearby, that wouldn't be right at all: even though it wasn't cheating. If the person starts to feel like a paranoid banshee, chances are he/she has picked up hints that all is not rosy in the relationship. To some women a husband [as an example] kissing a woman on the cheek would be thought of as cheating and downright disrespect. I suppose it's common sense with what defines cheating. It is also emotional: because if you're suddenly smelling a woman's perfume on your husbands shirt, you will feel he has violated your trust. It really depends on the individuals boundaries and what he/she classes as cheating.


                          • wave rider.....thought that because of your post "that would be cheating" right after my walking dog/talking with neighbor post

                            reply to wave rider
                            Last edited by amy40; 04-23-2017, 04:27 PM.


                            • Originally posted by amy40 View Post
                              interesting wave rider, that you consider walking/ talking cheating
                              I have no clue where you came up with that. I hope the opposite view. Cheating involves physical contact.


                              • I ended a relationship a few months ago because she was cheating.
                                She started hooking up with a woman we had a threesome with.



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